david tveite
@tveite.bsky.social
for some reason it's pronounced "twighty." i do standup and i go to the grocery store and that's basically it.
www.davidtveite.com
www.davidtveite.com
if donald trump is guilty then how come he called the police station and said he's innocent
February 10, 2026 at 9:06 PM
if donald trump is guilty then how come he called the police station and said he's innocent
there was a futurama (i think?) episode where richard nixon claimed to have an audio tape that completely exonerated him from involvement in watergate and it was just someone going "someone broke into the watergate" and him going "whaaaat?!"
Lmao come on man. This is B tier Columbo villain stuff
February 10, 2026 at 8:38 PM
there was a futurama (i think?) episode where richard nixon claimed to have an audio tape that completely exonerated him from involvement in watergate and it was just someone going "someone broke into the watergate" and him going "whaaaat?!"
Reposted by david tveite
kid rock's guitar says "this machine gives fascists a lil kiss"
February 9, 2026 at 7:04 PM
kid rock's guitar says "this machine gives fascists a lil kiss"
bad bunny halftime show did a very good job of threading the needle of "insane to get mad at" and also "will make conservatives insanely mad"
February 9, 2026 at 6:35 PM
bad bunny halftime show did a very good job of threading the needle of "insane to get mad at" and also "will make conservatives insanely mad"
who do you guys like in this one
February 9, 2026 at 3:12 AM
who do you guys like in this one
james harden has switched nba teams four times since 2021 and each move has been funnier than the last
February 6, 2026 at 6:29 PM
james harden has switched nba teams four times since 2021 and each move has been funnier than the last
Reposted by david tveite
Broken Social Contract
Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?
February 6, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Broken Social Contract
it's truly got everything
February 5, 2026 at 10:39 PM
it's truly got everything
Reposted by david tveite
it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars
February 5, 2026 at 8:27 PM
it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars
i'm becoming the joker pretty strongly over here
![Post on x the everything website from "JoNation" (jonationlive):
[Replying to Elon musk]
"Respectfully I disagree.
If you only knew how much happiness my Teslas have giving (sic) me. The real life friends I've made BECAUSE of owning Teslas and ALL the journeys I've been able to make BECAUSE of FSD. No other car has given me this.
Thank you Elon ♥️](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:637metpt56h3eqoxutpd4pk3/bafkreih7gpeunomabcjnnxprzlxsgphyd2z7xof7635sn4pgqr2nchfmum@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 1:47 AM
i'm becoming the joker pretty strongly over here
Reposted by david tveite
Mama Soprano’s Gravy (1999-2000): Jarred pasta sauce marketed as the "personal recipe" of Livia Soprano, matriarch on "The Sopranos". Released as a promotional item to media outlets and collectible shops for the series premiere
August 21, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Mama Soprano’s Gravy (1999-2000): Jarred pasta sauce marketed as the "personal recipe" of Livia Soprano, matriarch on "The Sopranos". Released as a promotional item to media outlets and collectible shops for the series premiere
Reposted by david tveite
goddamnit
February 5, 2026 at 12:54 AM
goddamnit
Reposted by david tveite
A+ ad placement on ESPN’s trade tracker
February 4, 2026 at 9:50 PM
A+ ad placement on ESPN’s trade tracker
Reposted by david tveite
worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead
February 4, 2026 at 4:44 PM
worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead
"commonsense reform" lmao you are a living dog turd
February 3, 2026 at 11:45 PM
"commonsense reform" lmao you are a living dog turd
i think it's high time for the people on the left and the people on the right to set aside their differences and fight the real enemy: the people in the center
February 3, 2026 at 11:42 PM
i think it's high time for the people on the left and the people on the right to set aside their differences and fight the real enemy: the people in the center
sting showing up to stand over in the corner and sing a lil bit because he's receiving 100% of the royalties for the song
February 3, 2026 at 11:09 PM
sting showing up to stand over in the corner and sing a lil bit because he's receiving 100% of the royalties for the song
ok so i'm way behind but i've been watching the diddy docuseries and i definitely did not remember how fucking weird his mtv performance with sting was
February 3, 2026 at 11:05 PM
ok so i'm way behind but i've been watching the diddy docuseries and i definitely did not remember how fucking weird his mtv performance with sting was
there's a guy in there named aaron freeman which is gener's real name but i checked and it's not him. what a relief!
February 3, 2026 at 9:59 PM
there's a guy in there named aaron freeman which is gener's real name but i checked and it's not him. what a relief!
none of the members of ween are in any of the epstein files
February 3, 2026 at 9:58 PM
none of the members of ween are in any of the epstein files
i do have hollow bones tho
February 3, 2026 at 9:03 PM
i do have hollow bones tho
no fair that birds get to be descended from dinosaurs and i don't
February 3, 2026 at 8:51 PM
no fair that birds get to be descended from dinosaurs and i don't
Reposted by david tveite
alleged constitutional scholar mike johnson: imagine if everyone we wanted to arrest was "due" some sort of "process"
Mike Johnson speaks out against the use of judicial warrants in immigration cases:
"Imagine if we had to go through the process of getting a judicial warrant"
"Imagine if we had to go through the process of getting a judicial warrant"
February 3, 2026 at 8:20 PM
alleged constitutional scholar mike johnson: imagine if everyone we wanted to arrest was "due" some sort of "process"
love the way my feed lined up for this
February 3, 2026 at 4:41 AM
love the way my feed lined up for this