Jess Koch
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cheezitbandit.bsky.social
Jess Koch
@cheezitbandit.bsky.social
She/Her

👀🤘🎃⚠️💀
Reposted by Jess Koch
Have you ever seen a more "lol get wrecked loser" expression
"Yes, the human was sitting in this seat mere seconds before I claimed it, if he wanted to keep it, he should have stayed in it."
December 17, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
Two boobs on females from cat races. Seriously what?? Either go none, or six. Only GW2 seems sane here. The character artists at Bless may need to go have a cold shower. 🤔
December 2, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
Can confirm, I did say this, over on Threads. I stand by it here as well. And everywhere else!
“Re ‘There are a lot of people on your side who will be in the Epstein Files too!’: No there aren't, my side is the ‘People Who Don't Fuck Children’ side, anyone not on this side can get all the way into the bin, what side are YOU on, exactly?” — John Scalzi
November 14, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Salt Lake City Uber driver: The Mormons run things so well. This is a great place to raise a family, the streets are so clean unlike Denver and its drugs. I'm not even Mormon, but they allow all the churches all get along, even the homosexual churches. 🙏
October 21, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
In case yu need reminding
October 18, 2025 at 11:45 PM
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I hate to think what boys and young men are learning from watching such behavior and how it makes girls and young women. Parents need to teach that this is not acceptable.
October 15, 2025 at 3:11 PM
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My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but
October 10, 2025 at 7:36 PM
September 29, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Love the random sexist microaggressions, like talking about paper mills and hearing a byproduct of the process goes into makeup. "So go home and tell your spouse..." assuming all us big burly paper men are going home to our pretty wives in their makeup. 💅
September 29, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
[accidentally entering a rap battle]

I uh, I got flows like oauth
August 29, 2025 at 9:38 PM
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Social media should be safe for trans people.

Pass it on
August 19, 2025 at 1:51 AM
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I don't care if Bill Clinton, Dolly Parton or Jesus Christ himself is implicated in the Epstein files. Anyone who committed such crimes should burn. I believe that because I'm not in a cult.
July 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Huge shout out to the Express employee who, when I said I was looking for pants and didn't know what size, looked me up and down and said "4 Long", and then pulled all three pairs of pants that size in the store. 100% accurate and saving me stress over a trip to the office. Bless you, you angel.
July 22, 2025 at 1:36 PM
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A very happy 30th birthday to bisexuality, born this day in 1995 🎂
July 17, 2025 at 8:17 AM
I love any excuse to dress up as a pirate and my partner loves any excuse to eat a turkey leg. Its a win-win.
July 14, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
The new Murderbot short story is up at Reactor Magazine: reactormag.com/rapport-mart... Edited by Lee Harris, art by Jaime Jones.
Rapport: Friendship, Solidarity, Communion, Empathy - Reactor
Perihelion and its crew embark on a dangerous new mission at a corporate-controlled station in the throes of a hostile takeover… Novelette | 7,540 words They were still three hours out when Perihelion...
reactormag.com
July 11, 2025 at 2:31 AM
Reposted by Jess Koch
One of the Best Shows You're Not Watching on Apple TV+ Got Renewed for Season 2
One of the Best Shows You're Not Watching on Apple TV+ Got Renewed for Season 2
'Murderbot' wraps up its first season tomorrow, and Alexander Skarsgård's soap opera-obsessed AI robot will return.
gizmodo.com
July 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
buy them by the dozen
I saw this sign in an antique shop yesterday and I can’t stop thinking about it. Books are like eggs
June 16, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I strive to embody this energy in my daily life.

Footage from sword & buckler pools at SERFO 2025.
June 9, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Magnolias are lovely.
June 9, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Reposted by Jess Koch
ok I feel completely insane asking this but like

weren't we NOT blowing up rockets, like, 50 years ago. weren't we successfully sending rockets up that did not rattle apart. also weren't we like "ah yeah that was a fail" when the rocket fell apart instead of calling it a "partial success"
May 28, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Reposted by Jess Koch
a big boat stuck could fix us
May 26, 2025 at 10:06 PM
In the middle of one major project go-live, another major program enhancement, and a third project my leadership wants me to run, I'm being "moved" to a ✨️brand new✨️ project, because it is clearly quicker and easier to transition my current work to a new team instead of actually letting me finish it.
May 27, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Reposted by Jess Koch
WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A MEAL?! A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL?!
May 22, 2025 at 12:03 AM
How do I explain to my (male) boss that I'm burnt out and tired of being the only female in the room? And that attending a female-targeted conference recharges and reenergizes me for work in a way that can't be quantified in a spreadsheet?
May 21, 2025 at 9:43 PM