chordjuicer
@chordjuicer.bsky.social
musician; engineer; improvisationalist; bicyclist. he/him
Reposted by chordjuicer
Reposted by chordjuicer
Reposted by chordjuicer
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
January 8, 2026 at 2:33 PM
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
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My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths
January 7, 2026 at 12:49 AM
My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths
Reposted by chordjuicer
Reposted by chordjuicer
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
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Today is the last day that you can repost this image
December 31, 2025 at 7:48 AM
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
Reposted by chordjuicer
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
December 27, 2025 at 1:56 PM
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
Reposted by chordjuicer
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
December 26, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
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Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
December 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
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My niece asked me the difference between apple cider and apple juice and I deployed the Ned Flanders quote I have had on deck for 25 years in case I was ever asked such a question. This is the best Christmas present possible.
December 24, 2023 at 6:23 PM
My niece asked me the difference between apple cider and apple juice and I deployed the Ned Flanders quote I have had on deck for 25 years in case I was ever asked such a question. This is the best Christmas present possible.
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For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"
December 13, 2024 at 4:49 PM
For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"
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No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
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AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
January 5, 2025 at 8:01 PM
AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE
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star at 3 billion years old: i have so much light and warmth to share
star at 12 billion years old: when i finally get to die im taking all of you with me
star at 12 billion years old: when i finally get to die im taking all of you with me
November 29, 2025 at 10:14 PM
star at 3 billion years old: i have so much light and warmth to share
star at 12 billion years old: when i finally get to die im taking all of you with me
star at 12 billion years old: when i finally get to die im taking all of you with me
Reposted by chordjuicer
After you help your boss convert a doc to PDF
November 22, 2025 at 4:55 PM
After you help your boss convert a doc to PDF
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Trump: anything else pal?
Zohran: I dunno you want to sink the GOP nominee for governor?
Trump: no problem!
Zohran: I dunno you want to sink the GOP nominee for governor?
Trump: no problem!
Q: Stefanik has called Mamdani a 'jihadist.' Do you think you're standing next to a jihadist right now?
TRUMP: No, I don't. I met with a man who's a very rational person
TRUMP: No, I don't. I met with a man who's a very rational person
November 21, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Trump: anything else pal?
Zohran: I dunno you want to sink the GOP nominee for governor?
Trump: no problem!
Zohran: I dunno you want to sink the GOP nominee for governor?
Trump: no problem!
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TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
November 21, 2025 at 9:25 PM
TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that?
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to
Reposted by chordjuicer
Stephen Miller going into the white nationalist reading room only to discover Trump has replaced everything with feminist zines
November 21, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Stephen Miller going into the white nationalist reading room only to discover Trump has replaced everything with feminist zines
Reposted by chordjuicer
Remember the recent middle-of-the-night apartment building raid where children were dragged outside naked & zip-tied in the street while black & Latino residents were _sorted by race_ and piled into separate vans while their apartments were ransacked & robbed? That raid? So it resulted in 0 arrests.
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem should resign and be criminally charged, according to critics who seized on a report revealing that zero people who were arrested in a high-profile raid were charged with a crime.
'Noem should resign over this': Fury over alleged DHS 'child kidnapping and trafficking'
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem should resign and be criminally charged, according to critics who seized on a report revealing that zero people who were arrested in a high-profile raid were charged with a crime.ProPublica recently reported on the DHS raid on an apartment building that was al...
bit.ly
November 16, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Remember the recent middle-of-the-night apartment building raid where children were dragged outside naked & zip-tied in the street while black & Latino residents were _sorted by race_ and piled into separate vans while their apartments were ransacked & robbed? That raid? So it resulted in 0 arrests.
Reposted by chordjuicer
From The Archives:
Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave https://theonion.com/dick-cheney-vice-presidential-library-opens-in-pitch-da-1819574915/
Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave https://theonion.com/dick-cheney-vice-presidential-library-opens-in-pitch-da-1819574915/
November 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
From The Archives:
Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave https://theonion.com/dick-cheney-vice-presidential-library-opens-in-pitch-da-1819574915/
Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave https://theonion.com/dick-cheney-vice-presidential-library-opens-in-pitch-da-1819574915/
Reposted by chordjuicer
zohran: good morning rama my wife
rama: hello mamdani
rama: hello mamdani
November 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
zohran: good morning rama my wife
rama: hello mamdani
rama: hello mamdani