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cornjerker78.bsky.social
Lori
@cornjerker78.bsky.social
3.1K followers 380 following 490 posts
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dkxvo6rduhmh5zsnkshhlwdy/feed/aaag2lsx5folw
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cornjerker78.bsky.social
Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · Mar 9
You have just made a powerful enemy
*gives you the cookie with only one chocolate chip*
3 51 110
Reposted by Lori
nelp.bsky.social
w hat the fuk @nelp.bsky.social · Jun 12
if i was shot out of a giant urethra i'd be pissed
1 2 5
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nelp.bsky.social
w hat the fuk @nelp.bsky.social · Apr 6
men will spend $100k on a car without any cupholders
1 2 3
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honeybadgermel.bsky.social
Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · 1d
I get my steps in by going back to get what I forgot and forgetting what I forgot again.
6 59 140
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hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 20h
You’re not a piece of shit. You’re like, the entire shit.
2 28 110
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hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 20h
I feel like being a malcontent but I want my belly scratched like a good boy.
It’s complicated.
13 26
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hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 15h
I haven’t been to a bar in years and I make up for that by stopping at every hot dog stand I see.
1 7 18
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hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 15h
In the nineties sometimes, you’d ask a lady what she wanted to do and she’d respond “shoop” and I never knew what to do after that.
4 21 59
cornjerker78.bsky.social
Lori @cornjerker78.bsky.social · 13h
🤣
a man in a basketball jersey is looking at the camera .
ALT: a man in a basketball jersey is looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
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brickmahoney.bsky.social
Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 1d
The only time I unload the dishwasher is after I've forgotten to turn it on
2 22 81
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brickmahoney.bsky.social
Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 18h
I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a safe and happy Rocktober.

May The Wattage pump in your cottage.
2 20 62
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doktormod.bsky.social
Space Moddity (they/them) @doktormod.bsky.social · 15d
They won't tell you this, but if you're already autistic and take Tylenol, you gain one random superpower
1 5
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doktormod.bsky.social
Space Moddity (they/them) @doktormod.bsky.social · 4d
[MANLY COMMERCIAL GUY VOICE] You might not be able to escape woke, but you can run it down in the new Ford F-150. The F stands for "Fuck Your Feelings"
1 2 4
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jennydoesntknow.bsky.social
Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 4d
The best thing to do right now is eat at least five cookies
2 14 34
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jennydoesntknow.bsky.social
Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 23h
Someone send me a barrel of queso. For scientific reasons.
1 4 13
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seamussaid.bsky.social
Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 2d
I may not be able to help you connect to the wifi but I can adjust the tracking on yer VCR
3 22 83
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seamussaid.bsky.social
Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 2d
whenever I make a joke on this website with a reference to 70-80s culture I feel like the stand ups that used to reference old vaudeville routines
16 20 160
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seamussaid.bsky.social
Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 1d
Whenever I tell my kids they are putting the cart before the horse they look at me with dead eyes so I know it's time for me to explain how horse transportation worked
1 24 110
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theholysinner.bsky.social
Stanley Moon @theholysinner.bsky.social · Jun 21
Line?
1 2
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theholysinner.bsky.social
Stanley Moon @theholysinner.bsky.social · Jul 10
As one door closes another one shuts.
1 1
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johnnycoxville.bsky.social
Johnny Coxville @johnnycoxville.bsky.social · 8d
I knaa am a big fat gadgie, but divvint forget I am still pure dead luvly! Who wudn’t want a cuddle off this, like?
2 2
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 🤥 @gupton68.bsky.social · 1d
Whenever I feel alone I try to remind myself that my parents are looking down on me with love and hoping that one day I’ll find happiness with a special someone, and that when I do I’ll finally let them out of the attic.
7 43 160
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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 19d
having things named after you is awesome unless it’s a mountain pass
1 16 43
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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 18d
sorry when your wedding DJ shouted “DO THE WORM!” I acted like I was dying on a sidewalk
2 17 47
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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 8d
“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts
12 28 98
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elgatoesmio.bsky.social
Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 6d
if aliens find that gold record we sent into space they’re gonna think our tech sucks. we should’ve at least included a tape or CD
3 17 42