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Discount Storytime

@discountstorytime.com

250 followers 340 following 1.2K posts

I'm Coffee and I write weekly humor for grown-ups, with engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue carefully edited out. Enjoy! More at the website discountstorytime.com. Check it out!

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

A horrific retelling of a childhood favorite! Enjoy!

#podcast #humor #comedy #fiction

www.buzzsprout.com/2378374/epis...

Short Story: An Unfortunate H - Discount Storytime

A horrific retelling of a childhood favorite. Enjoy! (You can also read it here.)Content warning for profanity.Discount Idea #60-  I once hired a dog walker. A little while later a dog came to my...

www.buzzsprout.com

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 9h

Pinecone OR acorn? But I want both.

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 9h

Your mom threw away your best almanac…

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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 9h

You’ll never convince me that opening up a shop specializing in vegetarian Greek pita sandwiches called ‘NEVER MEAT YOUR GYROS’ isn’t a good idea.

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 19h

#humor #meals #food #cooking

Date: 2025.10.11
V1 I10 Discount Magazine - Nutrition
Cover: Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner: Which meal is the angriest? Our experts break it down.
List of Ten: Ten orange juice brands you didn’t know are haunted.
Ask the Expert:Is that enough damn pepper?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

“I look ridiculous.”
“I think you look adorable.”
“I won’t be made a fool, Steve.”
“Just one more picture.”
“Fine, but after this...”
“I know, I know. Nevermore.”

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 21h

#humor

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James @james.tarnation.lol · 23h

the original centaur design had 100 legs

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 22h

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

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Zippo @naughtyzippo.bsky.social · 22h

Just watched a pot boil. People are full of shit

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 1d

Whelp. Maybe I’ll give up on social media entirely and build a treehouse in my backyard.

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 1d

Cenobites lite

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 1d

Discount Idea 83
#humor #quotes #nature

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 5d

They kicked me out of the Ninja Academy because I wouldn't stop wearing flip-flops

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Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social · 2d

only watching the supermoon for the commercials

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 1d

Tell the couple this. They may stay together for the sake of the koozies. Or at least until the koozies turn 18.

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

The library has great acoustics to try it at.

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2d

them: protect your family’s financial future

me: *gently places Splenda packets and Kohl’s coupons in safe deposit box*

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

Go back and request “ Rolando.” The clerk won’t say a thing, but she will point you to a false door in the back of the shop. Godspeed.

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 5d

Self-awareness and other acts of horror.

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

Her midsection took the day off.

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

I would have answered “just my court ordered community service.”

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

Understandable. A part of you will always be in that house.

Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

I wanted to like a mastodon, but meh.

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Discount Storytime @discountstorytime.com · 2d

I just fired up Net Zero, opened Netscape, and did a search on Lycos for that and think you’re right. You should write about that on your Angelfire blog.

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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 2d

Unfortunately, I lack the maturity to read the results of a Pew Research Center survey without going 'pew, pew, pew' in my head.

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