Cat Follows Man Through Apartment Like Racist Walgreens Employee https://theonion.com/cat-follows-man-through-apartment-like-racist-walgreens-employee/

can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.

The most fundamental political debate of our time: You are integrated into and have responsibility for our complex, imperfect society vs. Nuh-uh.

no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace

deeply weird to be in the healthiest and most stable period of your life thus far precisely as the wider world seems to be falling apart

These tariffs are like playing 4D chess except you’re just shoving all the pieces up your ass and saying you’re winning

someone put their pronouns in their email signature in 2017 and now the world's most irksome Boer has my social security number

I like vampires because I too am filled with an insatiable red hunger that consumes me and drives me forward unable to die. It's a vibe for sure.

this and a fucking blunt

2025 white house cabinet meeting

Increasingly convinced the core divide in humanity is between those who suffer a traumatic, destabilizing event (as we all do) and believe everybody else should have to, too, and those who suffer such an event and hope they are the last person ever to do so.