julius caesar's chariot with a bumper sticker reading IDES RATHER BE AT THE COLOSSEUM

we love campus free speech. we need to let weird middle aged freaks go to the center of campus to yell at students about how they are faggots. but the second students start saying controversial things like “children shouldn’t be bombed” we must deport them

Before you can make an outraged post about another country online, a captcha should pop up requiring you to find it on a map.

the US right now

Fuck you, ocean. If you have something to say, say it to my face instead of through a shell, you piece of shit.

Oh no

I finally figured out what Musk's Twitter reminds me of
www.garbageday.email/p/grinding-f...

Don't know who needs to hear this, but

Unclench your jaw

Let your shoulders drop

Liquefy all your connective tissue for the nutrients

Slither bonelessly off your chair

Wick yourself up the walls through capillary action

Envelop the room

Become a new god

Become a new god

Posting to Twitter used to feel like smoking cigarettes (really good in the moment tied to the concession you WILL die very early looking like Skeletor because of it), now it's like drinking battery acid (a Jackass-style dare, a cosmic, masochistic threat).

GORDON RAMSAY: and the eggs, they are?
UGLÙK: they eggs. Taste good. Canapé.
RAMSAY: no I mean, where do you get the eggs
UGLÙK (gesturing towards Shelob’s lair): Get from big spider
RAMSAY: from big spider. Fuck me. Canapé eggs from big spider. Fucking hell.

Trick or treating in Illinois

Finnish is awesome, look at those words

ketchup diagram