Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head https://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-as-trump-seen-with-damage-numbers-above-head/
December 30, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head https://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-as-trump-seen-with-damage-numbers-above-head/
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Millions of workers are toiling away from their families over the holidays. So thank the workers who serve you. Appreciate the workers who care for you. Respect the workers who pick up your trash. Salute the workers who get you your mail. Pay all workers a living wage.
December 30, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Millions of workers are toiling away from their families over the holidays. So thank the workers who serve you. Appreciate the workers who care for you. Respect the workers who pick up your trash. Salute the workers who get you your mail. Pay all workers a living wage.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Watching my daughter grow up without evangelical religious trauma is breathtaking.
She’s not scared of a hell, or a god who would condemn her to everlasting torture, and she’s never heard of a rapture. Growing up without that fear really does something good to a young person.
She’s not scared of a hell, or a god who would condemn her to everlasting torture, and she’s never heard of a rapture. Growing up without that fear really does something good to a young person.
December 30, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Watching my daughter grow up without evangelical religious trauma is breathtaking.
She’s not scared of a hell, or a god who would condemn her to everlasting torture, and she’s never heard of a rapture. Growing up without that fear really does something good to a young person.
She’s not scared of a hell, or a god who would condemn her to everlasting torture, and she’s never heard of a rapture. Growing up without that fear really does something good to a young person.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service
December 25, 2025 at 11:20 PM
[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Merry Christmas! 🎁🎄
December 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Merry Christmas! 🎁🎄
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
December 23, 2025 at 5:39 PM
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Someday he will be gone. But we will never forgive or forget the people who supported him.
December 16, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Someday he will be gone. But we will never forgive or forget the people who supported him.
"Illegal"
All these "but Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft let you download your old purchases" people forget about already existing failures like OnLive or Stadia.
I'm not expecting the big 3 companies to go under but it could happen and their legacies will just be purely physical games and illegal preservation.
I'm not expecting the big 3 companies to go under but it could happen and their legacies will just be purely physical games and illegal preservation.
November 22, 2025 at 7:38 PM
"Illegal"
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Imagine, if you will, that NASA updated its website to suggest gravity might not exist, prompting CalTech and CERN to release statements saying, "With great sadness, we can no longer recommend listening to NASA."
This is what's happening in epidemiology.
This is what's happening in epidemiology.
November 21, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Imagine, if you will, that NASA updated its website to suggest gravity might not exist, prompting CalTech and CERN to release statements saying, "With great sadness, we can no longer recommend listening to NASA."
This is what's happening in epidemiology.
This is what's happening in epidemiology.
🤘
November 22, 2025 at 7:34 PM
🤘
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
the takeaway from the Zohran Trump meeting is that Trump is a gullible fool who will temporarily bend to the last charismatic person he talked to.
Zohran played him perfectly but that doesn’t mean Trump is good now. He’ll go back to fascism tomorrow morning after he talks to Stephen Miller
Zohran played him perfectly but that doesn’t mean Trump is good now. He’ll go back to fascism tomorrow morning after he talks to Stephen Miller
November 21, 2025 at 11:22 PM
the takeaway from the Zohran Trump meeting is that Trump is a gullible fool who will temporarily bend to the last charismatic person he talked to.
Zohran played him perfectly but that doesn’t mean Trump is good now. He’ll go back to fascism tomorrow morning after he talks to Stephen Miller
Zohran played him perfectly but that doesn’t mean Trump is good now. He’ll go back to fascism tomorrow morning after he talks to Stephen Miller
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
“THE NON-ARTIST FIXATION ON HYPERREALISM AS THE PINNACLE OF ART IS CLEARLY PART OF THE REASON SO MANY ADULTS THINK THEY CANNOT DRAW OR CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE FAILURES, KAWAII, FOLK ART, DOODLES, OR OTHER EASIER ENTRY POINTS ARE CONSIDERED CHILDISH, WHICH IS WHY JAPANESE DRAWING BOOKS ARE BETTER…”
November 21, 2025 at 9:24 PM
“THE NON-ARTIST FIXATION ON HYPERREALISM AS THE PINNACLE OF ART IS CLEARLY PART OF THE REASON SO MANY ADULTS THINK THEY CANNOT DRAW OR CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE FAILURES, KAWAII, FOLK ART, DOODLES, OR OTHER EASIER ENTRY POINTS ARE CONSIDERED CHILDISH, WHICH IS WHY JAPANESE DRAWING BOOKS ARE BETTER…”
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
This young man has it exactly right.
November 21, 2025 at 11:30 PM
This young man has it exactly right.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Most of the power authoritarians have is freely given. We should not comply with them in advance.
Trump is far weaker than he looks. So is the GOP. We should draw them out, drain them at every opportunity, and fight for people’s wellbeing at every turn.
We have been sent here to fight for people.
Trump is far weaker than he looks. So is the GOP. We should draw them out, drain them at every opportunity, and fight for people’s wellbeing at every turn.
We have been sent here to fight for people.
AOC: I think there's two things that are happening at once: One, there absolutely is an unprecedented abuse of power, destruction of norms, erosion of our government and our democracy in order to prop up an authoritarian style of governance
However, they are weaker than they look…
However, they are weaker than they look…
October 1, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Most of the power authoritarians have is freely given. We should not comply with them in advance.
Trump is far weaker than he looks. So is the GOP. We should draw them out, drain them at every opportunity, and fight for people’s wellbeing at every turn.
We have been sent here to fight for people.
Trump is far weaker than he looks. So is the GOP. We should draw them out, drain them at every opportunity, and fight for people’s wellbeing at every turn.
We have been sent here to fight for people.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
DISNEY: "OK, we are putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. You can resubscribe now."
ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."
ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."
September 22, 2025 at 9:14 PM
DISNEY: "OK, we are putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. You can resubscribe now."
ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."
ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
they say this to the person whose literal superpower is getting me to genuinely engage with stuff I would never be able to otherwise.
September 10, 2025 at 12:02 AM
they say this to the person whose literal superpower is getting me to genuinely engage with stuff I would never be able to otherwise.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Yup, they’re definitely predators.
September 6, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Yup, they’re definitely predators.
Facts
August 26, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Facts
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
The Onion will be available in almost every Barnes & Noble in the country starting this month! “RFK Jr. Fires Piss Czar” will be a visible headline sitting directly next to Bon Appetit and Guns & Ammo.
Do you think we will see The Onion on grocery store newspaper racks in the future or is it just not sustainable anymore to do that?
August 21, 2025 at 4:41 PM
The Onion will be available in almost every Barnes & Noble in the country starting this month! “RFK Jr. Fires Piss Czar” will be a visible headline sitting directly next to Bon Appetit and Guns & Ammo.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
The craziest thing about this Cracker Barrel story is that Donald Trump was best friends with Jeffrey Epstein for decades and publicly admitted to trafficking young women to him out of Maralago.
August 22, 2025 at 2:44 AM
The craziest thing about this Cracker Barrel story is that Donald Trump was best friends with Jeffrey Epstein for decades and publicly admitted to trafficking young women to him out of Maralago.
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
we used to build household shrines to Going On The Computer and it's no coincidence that as we abandoned these we started straying further from god's light
August 22, 2025 at 9:19 AM
we used to build household shrines to Going On The Computer and it's no coincidence that as we abandoned these we started straying further from god's light
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have theonion.com/watchdo...
Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have
WASHINGTON—Describing the shift as a troubling indicator for the health of the nation’s system of governance, watchdog group Freedom House published a report Wednesday downgrading the United States from a democracy to whatever political system lobsters have. “Persistent executive overreach and erosion of civil liberties mean that America now looks less like a traditional federal […]
theonion.com
August 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have theonion.com/watchdo...
Reposted by Aaron Reyes
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”
August 10, 2025 at 3:36 AM
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”