won’t mccrackcan’t
@jenniperlofez.bsky.social
won’t. can’t.
he/him
he/him
oooohh this hockey show is gaaayyyyy
December 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
oooohh this hockey show is gaaayyyyy
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
🎶it's increasingly looking not like christmas
December 26, 2025 at 12:53 AM
🎶it's increasingly looking not like christmas
a customer told me they liked my outfit today, which is wonderful news, because every time i catch myself in the mirror or look down, i keep thinking to myself that i dressed like a banana.
December 28, 2025 at 6:07 AM
a customer told me they liked my outfit today, which is wonderful news, because every time i catch myself in the mirror or look down, i keep thinking to myself that i dressed like a banana.
eureka! i have unlocked a new customer pet peeve! when you are given a buzzer, please for the love of god, PAY ATTENTION TO IT
December 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
eureka! i have unlocked a new customer pet peeve! when you are given a buzzer, please for the love of god, PAY ATTENTION TO IT
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
December 27, 2025 at 5:27 PM
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
chuffed.org/project/1621... the winters in Palestine get miserable and noor and her family have no shelter; if you can give so they can buy blankets and supplies, they would greatly appreciate it!
Help Noor leave Gaza for knee surgery
My name is Ella, and I am collecting urgent donations on behalf of my friend Noor, who does not have access to this platform from Gaza.
chuffed.org
December 25, 2025 at 11:46 PM
chuffed.org/project/1621... the winters in Palestine get miserable and noor and her family have no shelter; if you can give so they can buy blankets and supplies, they would greatly appreciate it!
chuffed.org/project/1367... hadeel is incredibly desperate for help; she has uncountable medical conditions and no means to provide for her or her child. she is on the brink of death and would really appreciate anything you can give!
Help a Palestinian mother in Gaza
I'm Hadeel Shamlakh, 27 years old. I studied at the Islamic University, majoring in social service. I am married to Omar Ziyara and I have a child named Nimer, who is one year and two months old. I wa...
chuffed.org
December 25, 2025 at 11:44 PM
chuffed.org/project/1367... hadeel is incredibly desperate for help; she has uncountable medical conditions and no means to provide for her or her child. she is on the brink of death and would really appreciate anything you can give!
Help Ghalya get out of Gaza chuffed.org/project/1530...
Help Ghalya get out of Gaza
Hi my name is Breanna I live in the US. I'm the manager of 14 year old Ghalya's chuffed account. She is in Gaza and does not have access to this platform. We are raising money to help her and her fam...
chuffed.org
December 25, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Help Ghalya get out of Gaza chuffed.org/project/1530...
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
"The grinch who stole christmas" really buries the lede. the fellow gave it back. and his heart grew 3 sizes, which is a medical miracle
December 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
"The grinch who stole christmas" really buries the lede. the fellow gave it back. and his heart grew 3 sizes, which is a medical miracle
i have just noticed the Hey Jude backing vocals on Isn’t It a Pity
December 21, 2025 at 12:15 PM
i have just noticed the Hey Jude backing vocals on Isn’t It a Pity
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
A Christmas Carol (1951)
December 21, 2025 at 12:20 AM
A Christmas Carol (1951)
ooh-wee-ooh what time should i close the kitchen
oh oh what time should i sweep the floor
actually, i’ll do all that shit now anyway
i don’t care like that
oh oh what time should i sweep the floor
actually, i’ll do all that shit now anyway
i don’t care like that
December 20, 2025 at 10:40 AM
ooh-wee-ooh what time should i close the kitchen
oh oh what time should i sweep the floor
actually, i’ll do all that shit now anyway
i don’t care like that
oh oh what time should i sweep the floor
actually, i’ll do all that shit now anyway
i don’t care like that
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
Community Does Jack Shit To Make Christmas Better For Town’s Second-Poorest Family https://theonion.com/community-does-jack-shit-to-make-christmas-better-for-towns-second-poorest-family/
December 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Community Does Jack Shit To Make Christmas Better For Town’s Second-Poorest Family https://theonion.com/community-does-jack-shit-to-make-christmas-better-for-towns-second-poorest-family/
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
made a little guy. a little buddy
December 17, 2025 at 6:10 PM
made a little guy. a little buddy
what was the song elvis sang about having a sonic the hedgehog christmas without his loved one
December 14, 2025 at 11:23 AM
what was the song elvis sang about having a sonic the hedgehog christmas without his loved one
feeling pretty nauseous, but nothing a shot of whiskey and vigorously and semi-successfully scrubbing black mold out of a plastic tub can’t help
December 14, 2025 at 9:50 AM
feeling pretty nauseous, but nothing a shot of whiskey and vigorously and semi-successfully scrubbing black mold out of a plastic tub can’t help
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin
December 12, 2025 at 10:30 PM
obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
okay y’all, i have four new holographic stickers that i’m too excited about so i did a mini shop drop that i’ll keep up for the next week (orders should arrive in time for christmas) and then i’m shutting down and bracing for 2026. i have a big update planned!
ladycelery.etsy.com
ladycelery.etsy.com
December 9, 2025 at 6:58 PM
okay y’all, i have four new holographic stickers that i’m too excited about so i did a mini shop drop that i’ll keep up for the next week (orders should arrive in time for christmas) and then i’m shutting down and bracing for 2026. i have a big update planned!
ladycelery.etsy.com
ladycelery.etsy.com
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
I'm becoming the jok-*remembers it's december* I'm becoming the grinch
December 7, 2025 at 9:22 PM
I'm becoming the jok-*remembers it's december* I'm becoming the grinch
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
December 8, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me laying in it: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
is it good that my job can’t sing any of this truthfully
Welcome to the jungle
Our work week's just 4 days
And everyone gets medical
Plus a good 401K
And if you are harrassed
In any way sexually
HR will get on top of that
With confidentiality
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
My... My... My employee
Oooh
We hope you will succeed!
*guitar solo*
Our work week's just 4 days
And everyone gets medical
Plus a good 401K
And if you are harrassed
In any way sexually
HR will get on top of that
With confidentiality
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
My... My... My employee
Oooh
We hope you will succeed!
*guitar solo*
December 9, 2025 at 2:13 AM
is it good that my job can’t sing any of this truthfully
my biggest fear at every new job is that i’m sam richardson’s character in veep
December 8, 2025 at 11:04 PM
my biggest fear at every new job is that i’m sam richardson’s character in veep
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
Fall on your knees
O hear the Borat voices
My wife, is nice
O hear the Borat voices
My wife, is nice
December 18, 2024 at 9:04 AM
Fall on your knees
O hear the Borat voices
My wife, is nice
O hear the Borat voices
My wife, is nice
Reposted by won’t mccrackcan’t
When you take out the, “…and the internet is freaking out,” “…and fans can’t get enough,” and, “…and we’re here for it,” you’re left with headlines that just say like, “Jack White seemed to say tofu can be as good as ham.”
December 6, 2025 at 3:30 AM
When you take out the, “…and the internet is freaking out,” “…and fans can’t get enough,” and, “…and we’re here for it,” you’re left with headlines that just say like, “Jack White seemed to say tofu can be as good as ham.”