joffad.bsky.social
@joffad.bsky.social
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palette cleanser. xx
January 23, 2026 at 7:58 AM
palette cleanser. xx
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Wondering if that Starmer fellow might at this point get off his hind legs, and then, standing erect, tell this swine to apologize or otherwise go fuck himself. I'm asking on behalf of the British war dead. The U.K. lost soldiers at a per capita rate only slightly below that of the U.S.
Trump on NATO: "I've always said, will they be there if we ever needed them? That's really the ultimate test. I'm not sure of that. We've never needed them. They'll say they sent some troops to Afghanistan and this or that. And they did. They stayed a little back, off the front lines."
January 23, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Wondering if that Starmer fellow might at this point get off his hind legs, and then, standing erect, tell this swine to apologize or otherwise go fuck himself. I'm asking on behalf of the British war dead. The U.K. lost soldiers at a per capita rate only slightly below that of the U.S.
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Italian voice actor Carlo Bononi was the voice of all of the characters on Pingu. A trained clown by trade, he used a theater technique called grammelot, which consists of "speaking" in a mix of babbled gibberish noises. He improvised all the voices live and unscripted.
January 20, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Italian voice actor Carlo Bononi was the voice of all of the characters on Pingu. A trained clown by trade, he used a theater technique called grammelot, which consists of "speaking" in a mix of babbled gibberish noises. He improvised all the voices live and unscripted.
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Two goldfish swim into a bar, and the barman says, why the long faeces?
January 13, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Two goldfish swim into a bar, and the barman says, why the long faeces?
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One year since I posted this. One year since everybody treated it like a joke. One year of watching my back. Tell me: have you seen much of Harry Styles this past year? Tim Davie's gone a bit quiet too, hasn't he?
![A comic for the Guardian by Stephen Collins on New Years Eve 2024. Script as follows:
1
THE SCENE: is BBC Television centre or wherever that is these days. HARRY STYLES is getting out of a limo to enter a studio. An autograph-hunting FAN accosts him.
Also, a DATE STAMP appears ‘on screen’, like it used to do in the X-files, reading:
OCTOBER, 2024: Maidstone Studios, England
FAN 1:
That’s Harry Styles!
FAN 2 [Approaching Harry]:
Can I have a selfie, Harry?
2
FAN:
What are you doing at Maidstone Studios on this finbe day in mid October, Harry?
3
HARRY STYLES:
Why, I’ve come here in mid-October to record ‘Jools Holland’s New Year Hoote-‘
4
*FSHW*
[Harry Styles is suddenly vaporised by a LASER BEAM]
5
[We see the culprit; a hi tech flying DRONE has zapped Mr Styles to death. The drone has a camera eye on the front of it]
6
[Cut to: JOOLS HOLLAND in his Hootenanny lair, watching a screen which has just alerted him to the elimination of Styles]
[Legend on screen]:
ARTIST ELIMINATED
HOLLAND:
Goddamn it
7
HOLLAND:
Why can’t they keep their mouths SHUT?
8
HOLLAND:
Tim Davie!
TIM DAVIE [Director General of the BBC]:
Y-yes Jools?
HOLLAND:
Who’ve we got left for this year?
10
TIM DAVIE:
The Boomtown Rats, one of Sister Sledge and Marc Almond
HOLLAND:
Almond *again*?
11
TIM DAVIE:
We’re running out of artists to call, sir…
M-must we keep killing… so many…?
HOLLAND:
You know the rules, Davie. The secret of the Hootenanny must be protected at all costs. All who divulge it…
12
HOLLAND [close up on his evil face, eye twitching]:
Must be eliminated](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiafp3a2py3i5qz3lw3bwk3zrjnjnwxmm72tonf47xx67ilulotrtu@jpeg)
December 31, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One year since I posted this. One year since everybody treated it like a joke. One year of watching my back. Tell me: have you seen much of Harry Styles this past year? Tim Davie's gone a bit quiet too, hasn't he?
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Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door 24
December 24, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door 24
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If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
December 22, 2025 at 5:58 PM
If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
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Reposted by joffad.bsky.social
It’s Edvard Munch’s Home Alone
December 18, 2025 at 8:23 PM
It’s Edvard Munch’s Home Alone
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November 25, 2025 at 9:42 PM
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Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door 7
December 7, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door 7
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Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door four
December 4, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Heroes of Great Britain advent calendar - door four
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The best thing about Christmas shopping is hitting my wife and kids on the head with tubes of wrapping paper.
December 2, 2025 at 3:20 PM
The best thing about Christmas shopping is hitting my wife and kids on the head with tubes of wrapping paper.
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It’s a happy snowman wishing you the politest of seasons greetings
December 1, 2025 at 7:09 AM
It’s a happy snowman wishing you the politest of seasons greetings
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![[Scene is a MEDIEVAL PLAGUE PIT with all the bodies inside it. On the edge of it is a young peasant woman, in a sack cloth dress, covered in boils. She is lounging glamorously next to the pit. Her boyfriend is standing a few feet away, photographing her with an anachronistic mobile phone]
GIRL:
OK so I'll sit here...
With my hair like this…
Rubbing my cyst with the corpse's hand.
[She produces a whithered severed hand and starts rubbing it on her face.]
[We are treated to a revolting close up of her rubbing the severed hand on her disgusting massive cyst.]
[Her boyfriend takes a photo of her.]
SNAP
GIRL:
OK, now write this:
"Hanging out at the burial pit, rubbing my sebaceous cyst with a severed corpse hand from
#BurtsGraverobbers…”
And then: #selfcare, #metime, #BurtsGraverobbers…
... nails emoji, heart emoji, cyst emoji.
BOYFRIEND:
Um...
Should we really be promoting this?
I mean… does rubbing a corpse's hand on a cyst actually work?
GIRL:
Look, Burt's done research, OK?
And he's paying us four groats.
BOYFRIEND:
Hmm.
[Boyfriend dutifully taps out the post on his phone]
TAP TAP TAP
BOYFRIEND:
Cyst emoji?
GIRL:
Just use a fried egg.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifyvq2vzehtutrj7ild2dd7kkljmkbcby7yompicekbbpa2bqpluq@jpeg)
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There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
![[Scene is a WOODLAND just before dawn. In a tree, a TEENAGE ROBIN with big headphones on is slouching on a branch, swiping on her phone. Her DAD ROBIN approaches her on the branch looking cheerful with her MUM ROBIN also in tow].
DAD ROBIN:
Wakey wakey darling, it's National Dawn Chorus Day!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Ugh, Dad...
DAD ROBIN:
Come on, dear...
DAD ROBIN:
It's time for us all to shout into the darkness for sex!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
What
DAD ROBIN:
You're a big bird now.
Time to put down that blessed phone and find a mate...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
I am.
On Tinder.
[She swipes on her phone]
DAD ROBIN:
Oh for heaven's sake.
Your generation has no sense of tradition!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Right... so you'd rather I found love by bellowing into the woods for a pre-dawn hookup with a total stranger?
DAD ROBIN:
It's natural!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
It's dogging.
DAD ROBIN:
Well that's how your Mum and I had you...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
OH MY GOD GROSS
MUM ROBIN [Singing sweetly into the air]:
Sex pleeease...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Stop it Mum.
MUM ROBIN:
SEEEEEX PLEEEEAAAASE...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
MUUUM!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreierbhobnorq5sxzbz3n5wpp2y3b4d6gpudj7qf6qycqqlvwja7eoi@jpeg)
November 23, 2025 at 11:18 PM
There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
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Reposted by joffad.bsky.social
Reposted by joffad.bsky.social
🎵Trump came in like a wreeeeecking ballllllll...🎵
October 22, 2025 at 4:36 PM
🎵Trump came in like a wreeeeecking ballllllll...🎵
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Proud papa moment: my son J published a letter in the @nytimes.com today (in print tomorrow) on the need to think our definitions of autism.
October 18, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Proud papa moment: my son J published a letter in the @nytimes.com today (in print tomorrow) on the need to think our definitions of autism.
Reposted by joffad.bsky.social
Reposted by joffad.bsky.social
Bitten by a radioactive willy, he became…
September 24, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Bitten by a radioactive willy, he became…
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