I M P E A C H
@kamakaziebear.bsky.social
Self-shitposter,
These jokes are for me, not for you, but if you happen to like them thats ok too
These jokes are for me, not for you, but if you happen to like them thats ok too
Pinned
I M P E A C H
@kamakaziebear.bsky.social
· Aug 21
That's it,
Had enough.
Blocking anyone that posts AI bullshit
Had enough.
Blocking anyone that posts AI bullshit
Me, reading Percy Jackson in 2006: "Percy, you've got to save Olympus!"
Me, watching Percy Jackson in 2025: "Luke is right, we need to go punch god in the face!"
Me, watching Percy Jackson in 2025: "Luke is right, we need to go punch god in the face!"
January 1, 2026 at 5:05 AM
Me, reading Percy Jackson in 2006: "Percy, you've got to save Olympus!"
Me, watching Percy Jackson in 2025: "Luke is right, we need to go punch god in the face!"
Me, watching Percy Jackson in 2025: "Luke is right, we need to go punch god in the face!"
Hoo boy, you can't think of a way to make me boycott things faster can you
The power of suggestions ... "OpenAI Reportedly Planning to Make ChatGPT “Prioritize” Advertisers in Conversation" futurism.com/artificial-i...
OpenAI Reportedly Planning to Make ChatGPT "Prioritize" Advertisers in Conversation
OpenAI employees working on ChatGPT report plans to unleash sponsored advertisements above organic results.
futurism.com
December 31, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Hoo boy, you can't think of a way to make me boycott things faster can you
Gonna wanna find this later
🕷️MY PERSONAL BEST HORROR FILMS OF 2025🕷️
(based on what I've seen)
BEST
Weapons
RUNNERS-UP
Bring Her Back
Dust Bunny
Frankenstein
Match
Mother of Flies
The Ruling of Jenny Pen
Sinners
The Surrender
Ugly Stepsister
(based on what I've seen)
BEST
Weapons
RUNNERS-UP
Bring Her Back
Dust Bunny
Frankenstein
Match
Mother of Flies
The Ruling of Jenny Pen
Sinners
The Surrender
Ugly Stepsister
December 30, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Gonna wanna find this later
BUSTER KEATON AND JACKIE CHAN WOULD GO SO HARD
Two most unlikely costars you can think of for a movie that wasn't ever made.
I'll go first:
Michael Caine and Minnie Pearl.
I'll go first:
Michael Caine and Minnie Pearl.
December 30, 2025 at 12:35 AM
BUSTER KEATON AND JACKIE CHAN WOULD GO SO HARD
Was on break at the mall of America and Kirby Puckett sat down on the bench next to me
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Was on break at the mall of America and Kirby Puckett sat down on the bench next to me
Wr all have that *one* co-worker
December 28, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Wr all have that *one* co-worker
"I love picking up my baby boy (smacked in the face by a bowling ball head) oof"
yeah (oof!) parenting is a (ow!) joy. truly (engh!) teaching me the depths (GODDAMNIT) of love [the child in my lap wiggles once again and elbows me in the neck or bladder a fifth time]
December 28, 2025 at 5:06 AM
"I love picking up my baby boy (smacked in the face by a bowling ball head) oof"
Its so great when my toddler comes to snuggle my wife and I on Saturday mornings (kicked in the nuts by a toddler exactly the right height to kick me in the nuts while snuggling) oof.
yeah (oof!) parenting is a (ow!) joy. truly (engh!) teaching me the depths (GODDAMNIT) of love [the child in my lap wiggles once again and elbows me in the neck or bladder a fifth time]
December 28, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Its so great when my toddler comes to snuggle my wife and I on Saturday mornings (kicked in the nuts by a toddler exactly the right height to kick me in the nuts while snuggling) oof.
Mel Brooks movie "The Producers" could never be made today because 'Springtime for Hitler' would be popular because of the fascism, not the comedy
December 27, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Mel Brooks movie "The Producers" could never be made today because 'Springtime for Hitler' would be popular because of the fascism, not the comedy
It is true and I have done it and it feels good
HBOMAX FINALLY ADDED THE THUMBS DOWN FEATURE, YOU CAN THUMBS DOWN BILL MAHER NOW
December 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
It is true and I have done it and it feels good
Oh my god it fucking eleven o'clock and christmas still isn't over fucking kill me
December 26, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Oh my god it fucking eleven o'clock and christmas still isn't over fucking kill me
Congratulations cunts, we survived another Christmas
December 26, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Congratulations cunts, we survived another Christmas
Slaving away in the Christmas Mines
December 25, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Slaving away in the Christmas Mines
Truffle Butter, the manliest butter.
December 25, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Truffle Butter, the manliest butter.
GET FUCKED GHOSTS
I AM TOO TIRED,
CHRISTMAS IS TOO MUCH THIS YEAR
I AM TOO TIRED,
CHRISTMAS IS TOO MUCH THIS YEAR
The ghosts have had all day, and all year. They can get fucked at this hour
December 25, 2025 at 4:11 AM
GET FUCKED GHOSTS
I AM TOO TIRED,
CHRISTMAS IS TOO MUCH THIS YEAR
I AM TOO TIRED,
CHRISTMAS IS TOO MUCH THIS YEAR
Having my first ever "Technical White Christmas," but there's still snow so climate change is probably nothing to worry about
December 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Having my first ever "Technical White Christmas," but there's still snow so climate change is probably nothing to worry about
Christmas;
What if panic attacks were cozy?
What if panic attacks were cozy?
December 24, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Christmas;
What if panic attacks were cozy?
What if panic attacks were cozy?
I don't think you can legally say what needs to happen to them, I'm not sure charged and imprisoned is really gonna do it.
A message needs to be sent.
A message needs to be sent.
I've now watched the censored 60 Minutes report on CECOT. If you watched it too—and if you have any decency at all—I'm sure you came to the same conclusion I did: winning elections won't be enough; people like Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem will need to be charged and imprisoned.
December 24, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I don't think you can legally say what needs to happen to them, I'm not sure charged and imprisoned is really gonna do it.
A message needs to be sent.
A message needs to be sent.
Cough sauce
Steak syrup
Steak syrup
Two things that shouldn't be mixed together;
Steak Sauce
and
Cough Syrup
Steak Sauce
and
Cough Syrup
December 23, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Cough sauce
Steak syrup
Steak syrup
What a stupid, useless couple of days this will be.
OF COURSE no one is going to re-order holiday product on the 22nd
OF COURSE no one is going to re-order holiday product on the 22nd
December 22, 2025 at 1:41 PM
What a stupid, useless couple of days this will be.
OF COURSE no one is going to re-order holiday product on the 22nd
OF COURSE no one is going to re-order holiday product on the 22nd
No one sucks like Gaston
Elon Musks like Gaston
No one gets weird about
Cyber Trucks like Gaston
Elon Musks like Gaston
No one gets weird about
Cyber Trucks like Gaston
December 20, 2025 at 3:42 AM
No one sucks like Gaston
Elon Musks like Gaston
No one gets weird about
Cyber Trucks like Gaston
Elon Musks like Gaston
No one gets weird about
Cyber Trucks like Gaston
That John Travolta/Greased Lighting/Santa Claus/Capitol One commercial is so embarrassing, please stop showing it, im going die of third-hand exposure to cringe
December 19, 2025 at 4:05 AM
That John Travolta/Greased Lighting/Santa Claus/Capitol One commercial is so embarrassing, please stop showing it, im going die of third-hand exposure to cringe
Ok so what did president dipshit say
December 18, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Ok so what did president dipshit say