Tyler the Donut King
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kingdonutthefirst.bsky.social
Tyler the Donut King
@kingdonutthefirst.bsky.social
Father, husband ( @bluesmay.bsky.social ), brother, uncle, cousin, friend, ally. Blues, Cardinals, Illini, Broncos, Newcastle United, Saint Louis City SC, Portland Timbers, booze & music. He/Him/His. I know all the swears. Saint Fucking Louis.
Pinned
Can’t help but notice a bump in followers since Elon’s latest fuck-up and to y’all . . . welcome aboard. Beer’s in the cooler over there. Help yourself. Don’t be an asshole. Love ya.
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leroy jenkins maneuver
December 27, 2025 at 9:31 PM
The Chargers deserve to lose if they’re gonna keep trying to push these bullshit navy blues on their five fans.
December 27, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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December 27, 2025 at 5:10 PM
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December 27, 2025 at 11:10 AM
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December 27, 2025 at 7:10 AM
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December 26, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Ol’ Herm Da Hornball here
everything was filled with sperm, except the captain’s pantaloons pockets
December 26, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Did the Broncos deserve that win? Oh, probably not. But winning isn’t always about deserving.
December 26, 2025 at 4:02 AM
How many holds are the Chiefs gonna get away with on this last drive?

How many have they gotten away with on this drive so far? Eleventeen?
December 26, 2025 at 3:59 AM
The Broncos finished that drive about as perfectly as you can expect them to be in a scenario like that.
December 26, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Bonco oughta go for two if they score a TD here. Which, if they don’t score a TD here, they don’t deserve to win regardless.
December 26, 2025 at 3:46 AM
go bonco beet raycesses
December 26, 2025 at 1:14 AM
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TV Network Refuses To Air ‘Miracle On 34th Street’ For Outdated Depictions Of Hope, Joy https://theonion.com/tv-network-refuses-to-air-miracle-on-34th-street-for-1848159248/
December 25, 2025 at 11:00 PM
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my son got two different toy fire trucks for christmas. two. and despite being considerably more familiar with their purpose and operation, i didn’t receive a single fucking fire truck
December 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Profundity at its’ peak
you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
December 25, 2025 at 9:09 PM
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ha ha ha ha happy holidays 🃏❄️
December 25, 2025 at 4:58 PM
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…in a tree
December 25, 2025 at 2:04 PM
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Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six pack of two-four
Five golden tooks
Four pounds of back-bacon
Three French toast
Two turtle-necks
And a beer
December 25, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Three underratedly amazing parts of The Muppet Christmas Carol:
- Fred snapping back at Scrooge: “What right have you to be dismal? You’re rich enough.”
- That they only really allowed Rizzo and Gonzo break the fourth wall.
- That they allowed Rizzo often to be the terrible asshole he could be.
December 25, 2025 at 4:40 AM
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December 24, 2025 at 2:25 PM
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December 23, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Any time my wife and I think about wassail, we think of the MST3K bit about canned wassail.
December 23, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Pretty sure if my folks were still alive I would get this exact treatment from them.

You boomers didn’t raise any millennials!
dad trying to clown me by sending me a "ha ha millennials are old" link and forgetting i'm gen x is such a brutal force multiplier
December 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
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dad trying to clown me by sending me a "ha ha millennials are old" link and forgetting i'm gen x is such a brutal force multiplier
December 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
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beer mom
December 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM