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Kristin Myrtle

@kristinmyrtle.bsky.social

530 followers 260 following 2.9K posts

(mostly sad song lyrics & various hot takes) she/her born in a cornfield raised by a dandelion 🪷🇵🇸❤️‍🔥 crochet artist 🧶 find me on letterboxd: kristinmyrtle

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · Jun 29

You will rue the day that you ruined this roux, Rue McClanahan!!!

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Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

Julia Gulia 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 @jrobb773.bsky.social · 3h

Apparently, my favorite genre is Bob Odenkirk yearning after emotionally distant blondes.

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Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 4h

His beard was like a temper tantrum. Her breath was better than her playlist. They made love in the Kohl’s parking lot.

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Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · 4h

Dude, he's getting a Dell

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 4h

Bubbles looks happy 🩷😍

Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · Aug 5

If it was really possible for women to sleep their way to the top they would already rule the world.

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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · Aug 8

Trauma is a fog you can’t see until you make your exit.

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 9h

Little House on the Prairie is so wild, I’m glad I don’t live near any prairies

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 8h

WE BEGIN

a screenshot of the album 'Psychic... Powerless... Another Man's Sac' by The Butthole Surfers

Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · 8h

Always broke can't say the same about my heart

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✨🌯 jamie @glitterburrito.bsky.social · 10h

healing is an ugly thing.

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 8h

Make this a yelp review please!

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 8h

So good!!! 🤘🩷

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

I genuinely want to know!!!

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 1d

hey guys are there any other good Butthole Surfers songs out there? Is it worth it to explore their entire oeuvre?

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Reposted by Kristin Myrtle

Hell Ray-ser @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 13h

A tiny consolation is that every time Marco Rubio appears in public, he's very clearly a soulless husk of what used to be human, visibly crumbling from karmic rot and self-disgust. The only thing you can see in his dead eyes is regret over every choice that brought him here.

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

Also I'm pretty sure she was a witch and her voice continually seduces me from beyond the grave!!!!!

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

Karen Carpenter wasn't even real guys. She was just a piece of gossamer, she was a fragrant phantom, a piece of delicate fabric stitched together from all our silly hopes and dreams of the 70s.

She was too precious for this world

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

Gonna start my dream writing project soon: a graphic novel about a love affair (that I made up in my mind) between Warren Zevon and Karen Carpenter

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

The tot: the pinnacle of potato preparation and presentation

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surdfish @surdfish.bsky.social · 20h

Forget Mastodon, let's move this feast to Esty. I hear they have vvitches.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 23h

Rob! Rob, it’s Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Zombie!

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 1d

you know what I fucking love?? TRANS PEOPLE!!

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11h

Who needs sex when you have cool ranch doritos?

Therapist: *scribbling furiously*

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

🩷 Douglas Coupland 🩷

Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

And once you're out on the road and having a great time, suddenly your friend turns to you and says, "Oh, by the way you're dead," and you realize they're right, but it doesn't matter because you're happy and this is an adventure and this is fine.

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Kristin Myrtle @kristinmyrtle.bsky.social · 9h

The question was, "What do you think dying is like?" Cathy said it was like you're in a store and a friend drives up to the front door in a beautiful car and says "Hop in - let's go on a trip!" And you go out for a spin.

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