jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
just your typical old fashioned, salt of the earth, red blooded, hard working, blue collar, queer lady.
PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
🆗 https://nursemurderer.com
PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
🆗 https://nursemurderer.com
Pinned
jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
· May 20
literally my current proof of life outside of my fckn job:
Reposted by jordan [ham]
abolish senior discounts for boomers
November 24, 2025 at 11:19 PM
abolish senior discounts for boomers
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Hey can you please reshare this?
We are going to need as much help as possible, I am already maxing out my available funds to help get this move done with Charlie, but we still need a little help to get their things out of storage. I am currently at my limit. 😩
We are going to need as much help as possible, I am already maxing out my available funds to help get this move done with Charlie, but we still need a little help to get their things out of storage. I am currently at my limit. 😩
gofund.me/dbd60eb45
Y’all, things are dire since my car has been stolen a week before our move. We were counting on having it. Things have been really rough & being on disability, which I’ve been on since my lymphoma diagnosis, limits my budget drastically. If you can help or share I’d be grateful.
Y’all, things are dire since my car has been stolen a week before our move. We were counting on having it. Things have been really rough & being on disability, which I’ve been on since my lymphoma diagnosis, limits my budget drastically. If you can help or share I’d be grateful.
Donate to Charlie’s Urgent Relocation Fund, organized by Kristen Maloney
My name is Kris, and I have created this GoFundMe on behalf of my partner, Charlie. T… Kristen Maloney needs your support for Charlie’s Urgent Relocation Fund
gofund.me
November 23, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Hey can you please reshare this?
We are going to need as much help as possible, I am already maxing out my available funds to help get this move done with Charlie, but we still need a little help to get their things out of storage. I am currently at my limit. 😩
We are going to need as much help as possible, I am already maxing out my available funds to help get this move done with Charlie, but we still need a little help to get their things out of storage. I am currently at my limit. 😩
today’s workout brought to you by: idek anymore imho, song by 👑prince
November 25, 2025 at 4:35 AM
today’s workout brought to you by: idek anymore imho, song by 👑prince
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Gonna start posting more and more unhinged stuff on here as a bit
November 12, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Gonna start posting more and more unhinged stuff on here as a bit
Reposted by jordan [ham]
When my nose starts bleeding in the middle of the suburban ice cream shop, that will be the last of my humours leaving my body.
November 25, 2025 at 12:56 AM
When my nose starts bleeding in the middle of the suburban ice cream shop, that will be the last of my humours leaving my body.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
November 24, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
Reposted by jordan [ham]
My daughter (10) got her tonsils out today. When she woke up after surgery, she held up her stuffy, locked eyes with it and whispered, "What did you witness!?"
November 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
My daughter (10) got her tonsils out today. When she woke up after surgery, she held up her stuffy, locked eyes with it and whispered, "What did you witness!?"
Reposted by jordan [ham]
youre all pronouncing it wrong. It's "Got Ham City." it's the city that's Got Ham and so you put the Big Apple in its mouth
November 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM
youre all pronouncing it wrong. It's "Got Ham City." it's the city that's Got Ham and so you put the Big Apple in its mouth
Reposted by jordan [ham]
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
Reposted by jordan [ham]
as far as I know, I have achieved immortality
November 24, 2025 at 11:37 PM
as far as I know, I have achieved immortality
guys I fainted yesterday, but here’s what’s super weird— I had a mini dream while I was blacked out. anyone ever experience dreaming during syncope?
November 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
guys I fainted yesterday, but here’s what’s super weird— I had a mini dream while I was blacked out. anyone ever experience dreaming during syncope?
somebody told me about cat eye polish. cut to: me getting cat eye polish
November 24, 2025 at 2:28 AM
somebody told me about cat eye polish. cut to: me getting cat eye polish
me, in an art class painting a nude model: dam nice knockers bb
November 24, 2025 at 12:58 AM
me, in an art class painting a nude model: dam nice knockers bb
Reposted by jordan [ham]
White people be like how old is this coffee
November 18, 2025 at 12:01 PM
White people be like how old is this coffee
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Let the HOA know I’ll see them in court
November 19, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Let the HOA know I’ll see them in court
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Following an apple cider vinegar gummy, Celsius, fiber bar, and coffee, my guts have to look like the end of Event Horizon
November 19, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Following an apple cider vinegar gummy, Celsius, fiber bar, and coffee, my guts have to look like the end of Event Horizon
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Trump: Inshallah…pretty sure I’m saying that right. We love inshallah. We’re bringing the inshallah back and then salam. Reminds me of salami but we can’t do the pork, can we Mamadan? I call him Mamadan, he loves it.
November 22, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Trump: Inshallah…pretty sure I’m saying that right. We love inshallah. We’re bringing the inshallah back and then salam. Reminds me of salami but we can’t do the pork, can we Mamadan? I call him Mamadan, he loves it.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
putting the ASS in traditional thanksgiving green bean casserole
November 24, 2025 at 12:24 AM
putting the ASS in traditional thanksgiving green bean casserole
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Reposted by jordan [ham]
who wants some bebes for caturday?
walter & edgar
walter & edgar
November 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
who wants some bebes for caturday?
walter & edgar
walter & edgar
Reposted by jordan [ham]
edibles is actually short for edwardibles
November 22, 2025 at 2:49 AM
edibles is actually short for edwardibles
Reposted by jordan [ham]
“we need to be nicer to men” bro they didn’t let women have their own credit cards til 50 years ago
November 23, 2025 at 10:39 PM
“we need to be nicer to men” bro they didn’t let women have their own credit cards til 50 years ago
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Evergreen
this thread has been muted because people don’t know how to act right
November 23, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Evergreen
sometimes I put a little weed butter on my brekkie sammich and wake up just in time for dinner.
November 23, 2025 at 6:13 PM
sometimes I put a little weed butter on my brekkie sammich and wake up just in time for dinner.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
i’m so full…maybe i should have a little snack
November 15, 2025 at 5:39 AM
i’m so full…maybe i should have a little snack