Kyle Carpenter
@kycar.bsky.social
Comedian, grantwriter and decent fella living in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
I have never once heard jazz singing and thought "more please."
October 17, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I have never once heard jazz singing and thought "more please."
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
Trump: “Stop calling us Nazis, that is NOT our jam!”
Also Trump: “Thumbs Up! Nazis are TOTALLY my jam!”
Also Trump: “Thumbs Up! Nazis are TOTALLY my jam!”
October 16, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Trump: “Stop calling us Nazis, that is NOT our jam!”
Also Trump: “Thumbs Up! Nazis are TOTALLY my jam!”
Also Trump: “Thumbs Up! Nazis are TOTALLY my jam!”
RFK Jr. looks like he killed Laura Palmer with measles.
October 15, 2025 at 3:48 PM
RFK Jr. looks like he killed Laura Palmer with measles.
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
Boss, we’ve got a problem. Users don’t want this stuff! They keep wanting to turn it off, even when we keep turning it back on!
Boss: I have an idea
Boss: I have an idea
October 12, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Boss, we’ve got a problem. Users don’t want this stuff! They keep wanting to turn it off, even when we keep turning it back on!
Boss: I have an idea
Boss: I have an idea
I got mad at myself for clicking on a crappy reel and realized: if I have an unhealthy impulse, it's on me to put it aside and move on. If Facebook or Instagram show me a reel that caters to my worst self, I close it but IT KEEPS SUGGESTING REELS.
Social media is intrusive thoughts disorder.
Social media is intrusive thoughts disorder.
October 10, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I got mad at myself for clicking on a crappy reel and realized: if I have an unhealthy impulse, it's on me to put it aside and move on. If Facebook or Instagram show me a reel that caters to my worst self, I close it but IT KEEPS SUGGESTING REELS.
Social media is intrusive thoughts disorder.
Social media is intrusive thoughts disorder.
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
The four words every human longs to hear
October 9, 2025 at 9:45 PM
The four words every human longs to hear
Attended my first #Halifax City Council meeting last night to support the by-law amendment preventing in-fill of Dartmouth Cove until a comprehensive plan is produced. Some observations:
October 8, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Attended my first #Halifax City Council meeting last night to support the by-law amendment preventing in-fill of Dartmouth Cove until a comprehensive plan is produced. Some observations:
Boomers: "I hate driving downtown. It's so stressful."
Also Boomers: "Let's buy the biggest, most expensive car there is and never use Bluetooth."
Also Boomers: "Let's buy the biggest, most expensive car there is and never use Bluetooth."
September 12, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Boomers: "I hate driving downtown. It's so stressful."
Also Boomers: "Let's buy the biggest, most expensive car there is and never use Bluetooth."
Also Boomers: "Let's buy the biggest, most expensive car there is and never use Bluetooth."
My Newfoundland aunt, listening to a country radio song about a new truck: "I like this one!"
What I hear:
What I hear:
a black and white photo of a building with the words marry and reproduce on it
Alt: A GIF from the film "THEY LIVE" where the main character, John Nada, wears glasses that reveal hidden messages in society, including "OBEY," "CONSUME," "MARRY AND REPRODUCE" and "NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT."
media.tenor.com
September 9, 2025 at 11:52 AM
My Newfoundland aunt, listening to a country radio song about a new truck: "I like this one!"
What I hear:
What I hear:
Really enjoying Marc Maron's recent podcast tour. He can speak to The Mothership of it all in modern comedy with clarity and authority.
youtu.be/oFsIzzzeznI?...
youtu.be/oFsIzzzeznI?...
Marc Maron, Hero Of Our Time.
YouTube video by R
youtu.be
August 13, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Really enjoying Marc Maron's recent podcast tour. He can speak to The Mothership of it all in modern comedy with clarity and authority.
youtu.be/oFsIzzzeznI?...
youtu.be/oFsIzzzeznI?...
Woke up at 4 AM with an absolute certainty: Elon Musk is using up natural resources to "perfect" AI so that he can replace humanity and relocate to Mars.
My 4 AM proof of this that his favourite game is Battle of Polytopia, a mobile Civ-type game that is a sprint to secure resources to win.
My 4 AM proof of this that his favourite game is Battle of Polytopia, a mobile Civ-type game that is a sprint to secure resources to win.
August 12, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Woke up at 4 AM with an absolute certainty: Elon Musk is using up natural resources to "perfect" AI so that he can replace humanity and relocate to Mars.
My 4 AM proof of this that his favourite game is Battle of Polytopia, a mobile Civ-type game that is a sprint to secure resources to win.
My 4 AM proof of this that his favourite game is Battle of Polytopia, a mobile Civ-type game that is a sprint to secure resources to win.
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
given Superman's age and pop-punk predilection in the new film I argue it is not only entirely possible but highly likely that he chose his superhero name based on the song by Goldfinger
July 21, 2025 at 5:41 PM
given Superman's age and pop-punk predilection in the new film I argue it is not only entirely possible but highly likely that he chose his superhero name based on the song by Goldfinger
This is a new evil. Got an email for an upcoming flight, offering me the "opportunity" to upgrade to a premium seat. I clicked through to see what it was priced at, and discovered a BIDDING SYSTEM.
Worth noting that the $455 suggested bid is more than I paid for the ticket in the first place.
Worth noting that the $455 suggested bid is more than I paid for the ticket in the first place.
July 16, 2025 at 5:04 PM
This is a new evil. Got an email for an upcoming flight, offering me the "opportunity" to upgrade to a premium seat. I clicked through to see what it was priced at, and discovered a BIDDING SYSTEM.
Worth noting that the $455 suggested bid is more than I paid for the ticket in the first place.
Worth noting that the $455 suggested bid is more than I paid for the ticket in the first place.
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis, but who can tell in this economy?
Back in the 80s, a fella my age would buy a sportscar and start dating younger women. But here in 2025, I'm just thinking about getting into sourdough.
Back in the 80s, a fella my age would buy a sportscar and start dating younger women. But here in 2025, I'm just thinking about getting into sourdough.
July 10, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis, but who can tell in this economy?
Back in the 80s, a fella my age would buy a sportscar and start dating younger women. But here in 2025, I'm just thinking about getting into sourdough.
Back in the 80s, a fella my age would buy a sportscar and start dating younger women. But here in 2025, I'm just thinking about getting into sourdough.
Thinking about "Splish splash, I was taking a bath." I miss this era of music - entire songs about whatever.
Where's my club banger about cleaning wax from your ears or binge watching Friends for the fifth time. Where's my pop hit about ordering Door Dash at 11PM because you can't leave the house.
Where's my club banger about cleaning wax from your ears or binge watching Friends for the fifth time. Where's my pop hit about ordering Door Dash at 11PM because you can't leave the house.
June 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Thinking about "Splish splash, I was taking a bath." I miss this era of music - entire songs about whatever.
Where's my club banger about cleaning wax from your ears or binge watching Friends for the fifth time. Where's my pop hit about ordering Door Dash at 11PM because you can't leave the house.
Where's my club banger about cleaning wax from your ears or binge watching Friends for the fifth time. Where's my pop hit about ordering Door Dash at 11PM because you can't leave the house.
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
“It’s unfortunate the internet got involved”… you spelled constituents wrong Andy
'This isn't good governance. This is foolish': Andy Fillmore's bike lane motion fails - Halifax Examiner
"I am confident in what my knowledge of good governance is and I'll continue to work in that way," Fillmore says.
www.halifaxexaminer.ca
June 12, 2025 at 2:58 AM
“It’s unfortunate the internet got involved”… you spelled constituents wrong Andy
The first time I encountered Ryuichi Sakamoto's theme for Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence, I had the revelation of how indebted Joe Hisaishi of #ghibli fame is to his work.
open.spotify.com/track/5VuwAh...
open.spotify.com/track/5VuwAh...
Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence
Ryuichi Sakamoto, Jaques Morelenbaum, Everton Nelson · 1996 · Song · 1996
open.spotify.com
June 10, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The first time I encountered Ryuichi Sakamoto's theme for Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence, I had the revelation of how indebted Joe Hisaishi of #ghibli fame is to his work.
open.spotify.com/track/5VuwAh...
open.spotify.com/track/5VuwAh...
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.
June 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.
I would never call myself a "dog parent," but every time my little dog has a big poop, I want to buy him a car for this 16th birthday.
June 9, 2025 at 1:07 PM
I would never call myself a "dog parent," but every time my little dog has a big poop, I want to buy him a car for this 16th birthday.
Reposted by Kyle Carpenter
The fate of our entire global civilization rests on a few thousand distractable midwesterners who have the TV on in the background all the time but don't really listen to it
I've come to suspect that the voters who do the most damage aren't the vocally undecided or the home-stayers or those warped by propaganda, but the ones who are totally disengaged until election day but still feel compelled to show up at the polls & vote based on vibes or the last FB post they read.
June 5, 2025 at 10:35 AM
The fate of our entire global civilization rests on a few thousand distractable midwesterners who have the TV on in the background all the time but don't really listen to it
Found a weird bug on the Namco Ms. Pacman/Galaga split #arcade cabinet.
Once the Galaga ship is doubled during the Galaga demo play, the joystick will actually give you limited input.
Once the Galaga ship is doubled during the Galaga demo play, the joystick will actually give you limited input.
June 4, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Found a weird bug on the Namco Ms. Pacman/Galaga split #arcade cabinet.
Once the Galaga ship is doubled during the Galaga demo play, the joystick will actually give you limited input.
Once the Galaga ship is doubled during the Galaga demo play, the joystick will actually give you limited input.
New least favourite category of #AIslop - reels with footage of actual things, but with an AI narrator describing what's happening and getting it wrong.
May 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
New least favourite category of #AIslop - reels with footage of actual things, but with an AI narrator describing what's happening and getting it wrong.
I love alt #comedy, but I'm also of the opinion that half of it is written by saying "wouldn't it be funny if I ______* and didn't say anything about it?"
*wore my shirt inside out
*yelled for no reason
*Used anachronistic slang
*just said "uuuuuuuuh" for a whole minute.
*wore my shirt inside out
*yelled for no reason
*Used anachronistic slang
*just said "uuuuuuuuh" for a whole minute.
May 29, 2025 at 2:19 PM
I love alt #comedy, but I'm also of the opinion that half of it is written by saying "wouldn't it be funny if I ______* and didn't say anything about it?"
*wore my shirt inside out
*yelled for no reason
*Used anachronistic slang
*just said "uuuuuuuuh" for a whole minute.
*wore my shirt inside out
*yelled for no reason
*Used anachronistic slang
*just said "uuuuuuuuh" for a whole minute.