Mallory Where
@malwhere.northsky.social
she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
Pinned
Mallory Where
@malwhere.northsky.social
· Oct 23
we are the daughters of the witches you hit with your car door when they were cycling home. we're gonna beat the shit out of you with a sack full of nickels
I think my hair looks pretty today
January 21, 2026 at 4:47 PM
I think my hair looks pretty today
Reposted by Mallory Where
The choice is impeachment and removal or calamity for the United States. I don't see how anybody watching Trump's speech in Davos can draw any other conclusion. He's a senile madman.
January 21, 2026 at 2:26 PM
The choice is impeachment and removal or calamity for the United States. I don't see how anybody watching Trump's speech in Davos can draw any other conclusion. He's a senile madman.
ok so on one hand my monitors that page based on non-OK responses did in fact work
on the other hand I found this out when I got paged at 12:30am because I forgot to turn the monitor off outside of business hours
good morning
on the other hand I found this out when I got paged at 12:30am because I forgot to turn the monitor off outside of business hours
good morning
January 21, 2026 at 2:35 PM
ok so on one hand my monitors that page based on non-OK responses did in fact work
on the other hand I found this out when I got paged at 12:30am because I forgot to turn the monitor off outside of business hours
good morning
on the other hand I found this out when I got paged at 12:30am because I forgot to turn the monitor off outside of business hours
good morning
No, like...we know, and we get it. We're the fucking worst. I hate us so much too
I don't think the Americans, and yes, I mean all of you, are prepared for how hated you now are by everyone.
Its not going away folks. Youve lost all rights to speak to us without being told to go fuck yourselves.
Its not going away folks. Youve lost all rights to speak to us without being told to go fuck yourselves.
Lutnick heckled in Davos. FT: “The gathering on Tuesday night descended into uproar after combative remarks from Lutnick, the people said, with widespread jeering, some guests walking out and appeals for calm from Fink.”
January 21, 2026 at 2:10 PM
No, like...we know, and we get it. We're the fucking worst. I hate us so much too
if I were a country that had held off of getting nuclear weapons because The United States Frowns On Other Countries Getting Nukes And We All Take Them Very Seriously, I would probably be haggling with uranium suppliers right about now
January 21, 2026 at 5:30 AM
if I were a country that had held off of getting nuclear weapons because The United States Frowns On Other Countries Getting Nukes And We All Take Them Very Seriously, I would probably be haggling with uranium suppliers right about now
when it happens for real I am going to invite every hot transfemme I know over to my place and we are going to bathe in champagne and bark at each other for a week straight
January 21, 2026 at 4:49 AM
when it happens for real I am going to invite every hot transfemme I know over to my place and we are going to bathe in champagne and bark at each other for a week straight
Reposted by Mallory Where
There’s a woman on TikTok who is asking Conservatives a simple question, “what does life look like under conservatism in 15 years” and every single Conservative keeps glitching out when they are asked this. No one answers her. A whole movement built on 0 imagination and just hating other people.
January 20, 2026 at 9:52 PM
There’s a woman on TikTok who is asking Conservatives a simple question, “what does life look like under conservatism in 15 years” and every single Conservative keeps glitching out when they are asked this. No one answers her. A whole movement built on 0 imagination and just hating other people.
Reposted by Mallory Where
if I were a lawyer and a district court judge issued an order saying "look, because you're a tiny baby and a moron, I'm going to assume you've been ignoring my orders because you're stupid and don't know what you're doing, but for the love of god stop" I would simply disintegrate
BREAKING
A federal judge STRIKES the words "United States Attorney" from Lindsey Halligan's signature and warns that he will refer her to disciplinary proceedings if she persists in calling herself one.
Doc buff.ly/JvTKLlD
Background buff.ly/Ay2iB6u
A federal judge STRIKES the words "United States Attorney" from Lindsey Halligan's signature and warns that he will refer her to disciplinary proceedings if she persists in calling herself one.
Doc buff.ly/JvTKLlD
Background buff.ly/Ay2iB6u
January 21, 2026 at 2:22 AM
if I were a lawyer and a district court judge issued an order saying "look, because you're a tiny baby and a moron, I'm going to assume you've been ignoring my orders because you're stupid and don't know what you're doing, but for the love of god stop" I would simply disintegrate
Instagram algorithm update: I am now getting suggested posts about lesbian life in Germany
January 20, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Instagram algorithm update: I am now getting suggested posts about lesbian life in Germany
To cis people I will break out the alphabet blocks and coloring books and slowly explain that I'm a woman (she/her), and I tell them never to call me "Mal."
To trans people it's like "oh I'm she/it btw, don't feel like you have to use it/its--but crank that shit on LOUD if we fuck. also I'm a dog"
To trans people it's like "oh I'm she/it btw, don't feel like you have to use it/its--but crank that shit on LOUD if we fuck. also I'm a dog"
if a cis person asks about my gender/pronouns, i'm a woman (she/her).
if a trans person asks about my gender/pronouns, i'm femme non-binary (she/they).
most cis people can't be trusted to handle that kind of nuance, so they get the Kidz Bop version until they prove otherwise.
if a trans person asks about my gender/pronouns, i'm femme non-binary (she/they).
most cis people can't be trusted to handle that kind of nuance, so they get the Kidz Bop version until they prove otherwise.
January 20, 2026 at 11:40 PM
To cis people I will break out the alphabet blocks and coloring books and slowly explain that I'm a woman (she/her), and I tell them never to call me "Mal."
To trans people it's like "oh I'm she/it btw, don't feel like you have to use it/its--but crank that shit on LOUD if we fuck. also I'm a dog"
To trans people it's like "oh I'm she/it btw, don't feel like you have to use it/its--but crank that shit on LOUD if we fuck. also I'm a dog"
Reposted by Mallory Where
"post you at your dykiest"
i dont uh. i dont have that
i dont uh. i dont have that
January 20, 2026 at 8:32 PM
"post you at your dykiest"
i dont uh. i dont have that
i dont uh. i dont have that
of *course* the dykiest photo I have of myself still has me wearing a full face of makeup smdh
January 20, 2026 at 10:13 PM
of *course* the dykiest photo I have of myself still has me wearing a full face of makeup smdh
Reposted by Mallory Where
its really, lets say 'awkward', that every fucking "oopsie i voted for trump" article that gets pushed as an example of trump voters changing always glides over the trump voter's rabid hatred of gays and trans people that doesn't exactly tell me they're my future ally.
January 20, 2026 at 9:17 PM
its really, lets say 'awkward', that every fucking "oopsie i voted for trump" article that gets pushed as an example of trump voters changing always glides over the trump voter's rabid hatred of gays and trans people that doesn't exactly tell me they're my future ally.
Reposted by Mallory Where
Day 88 of inserting a random Muppet into a random Star Trek screenshot
#StarTrek #StarTrekVoyager #TheMuppets #TheMuppetMovie
#StarTrek #StarTrekVoyager #TheMuppets #TheMuppetMovie
January 17, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Day 88 of inserting a random Muppet into a random Star Trek screenshot
#StarTrek #StarTrekVoyager #TheMuppets #TheMuppetMovie
#StarTrek #StarTrekVoyager #TheMuppets #TheMuppetMovie
Reposted by Mallory Where
jonas gahr støre is the prime minister of notably non-denmark country "norway"
![NEW: @potus letter to @jonasgahrstore links @NobelPrize to Greenland, reiterates threats, and is forwarded by the NSC staff to multiple European ambassadors in Washington. I obtained the text from multiple officials:
Dear Ambassador:
President Trump has asked that the following message, shared with Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre, be forwarded to your [named head of government/state]
“Dear Jonas: Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace, although it will always be predominant, but can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America. Denmark cannot protect that land from Russia or China, and why do they have a “right of ownership” anyway? There are no written documents, it’s only that a boat landed there hundreds of years ago, but we had boats landing there, also. I have done more for NATO than any other person since its founding, and now, NATO should do something for the United States. The World is not secure unless we have Complete and Total Control of Greenland. Thank you! President DJT”](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:hbpefio3f5csc44msmbgioxz/bafkreie7itpptx3xbxhpsnlaqmwk752h7pcrion5ija2apksljtax2adx4@jpeg)
January 19, 2026 at 6:05 AM
jonas gahr støre is the prime minister of notably non-denmark country "norway"
it’s 2026, bitches; beautiful femmes can electrocute you through the internet and uncle sam can’t do the square root of dick about it
January 19, 2026 at 2:57 AM
it’s 2026, bitches; beautiful femmes can electrocute you through the internet and uncle sam can’t do the square root of dick about it
Reposted by Mallory Where
whys everyone dunking on early transition culture lately. can we be kinder to who we all used to be
January 19, 2026 at 2:46 AM
whys everyone dunking on early transition culture lately. can we be kinder to who we all used to be
Etsy knows enough about me to know I want to shop for collars and yet somehow not enough to know that I don’t want “fake collars for women,” I want REAL collars for DOG WOMEN smdh
January 18, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Etsy knows enough about me to know I want to shop for collars and yet somehow not enough to know that I don’t want “fake collars for women,” I want REAL collars for DOG WOMEN smdh
Reposted by Mallory Where
"A tattoo on a woman is like putting a bumper sticker on a classic car."
If you've never seen an illuminated manuscript, just say so. If you've never gently touched vellum in an act of worship, you can just say that! I was down at the scriptorium and nobody knew your sorry ass!
If you've never seen an illuminated manuscript, just say so. If you've never gently touched vellum in an act of worship, you can just say that! I was down at the scriptorium and nobody knew your sorry ass!
January 17, 2026 at 2:49 PM
"A tattoo on a woman is like putting a bumper sticker on a classic car."
If you've never seen an illuminated manuscript, just say so. If you've never gently touched vellum in an act of worship, you can just say that! I was down at the scriptorium and nobody knew your sorry ass!
If you've never seen an illuminated manuscript, just say so. If you've never gently touched vellum in an act of worship, you can just say that! I was down at the scriptorium and nobody knew your sorry ass!
Ordinarily I don’t approve of the British, but it is objectively very funny to invoke Chamberlain in comparison to Starmer and then land on an insult that’s so nonsensical it ends up being utterly savage
Lib Dem former leader Tim Farron: “I wonder if Starmer, Badenoch and Farage *still* think it’s worth shamelessly appeasing this wombat?”
January 17, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Ordinarily I don’t approve of the British, but it is objectively very funny to invoke Chamberlain in comparison to Starmer and then land on an insult that’s so nonsensical it ends up being utterly savage
Reposted by Mallory Where
im so sorry to everybody
January 16, 2026 at 10:07 PM
im so sorry to everybody
Electrolysis is great because I get electrocuted by a trans woman for like two hours. Like the main difference between that and my weekend plans is that only one of them is covered by my insurance
January 16, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Electrolysis is great because I get electrocuted by a trans woman for like two hours. Like the main difference between that and my weekend plans is that only one of them is covered by my insurance
Reposted by Mallory Where
this gyre is some bullshit
January 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
this gyre is some bullshit
Turns out domme-y date night Mallory is a whole other uh fuckin vibe 👀
January 16, 2026 at 3:33 AM
Turns out domme-y date night Mallory is a whole other uh fuckin vibe 👀