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If you’re under 5’3 you should get a throat tattoo. If you’re over 5’3 you shouldn’t do anything at all, you’re perfect
January 10, 2026 at 9:20 PM
If you’re under 5’3 you should get a throat tattoo. If you’re over 5’3 you shouldn’t do anything at all, you’re perfect
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You could put Elaine May, Dorothy Parker and William Shakespeare in a room together and they'd never write a punchline this funny.
December 31, 2025 at 1:09 AM
You could put Elaine May, Dorothy Parker and William Shakespeare in a room together and they'd never write a punchline this funny.
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this photo was going viral on here like an hour before Charlie Kirk got shot and now that the dust has settled somewhat it’s time to revisit how funny this is
December 24, 2025 at 8:46 PM
this photo was going viral on here like an hour before Charlie Kirk got shot and now that the dust has settled somewhat it’s time to revisit how funny this is
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog”
Hey, Spider quick question, what the fuck is a dog?
Hey, Spider quick question, what the fuck is a dog?
Who taught Spider the word “pendejo”?
December 21, 2025 at 1:00 PM
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog”
Hey, Spider quick question, what the fuck is a dog?
Hey, Spider quick question, what the fuck is a dog?
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It's December, which means it's time for my favorite post of the year (which will be updated all day), the cinema of 2025 as gags from 30 Rock. Starting with ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
December 9, 2025 at 6:14 PM
It's December, which means it's time for my favorite post of the year (which will be updated all day), the cinema of 2025 as gags from 30 Rock. Starting with ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER
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can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot
December 8, 2025 at 9:29 AM
can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot
dr dazzle is one of our finest young artists
November 15, 2025 at 12:37 PM
dr dazzle is one of our finest young artists
“Are you talking about heaven?”
“No, I’m talking about something… Exclusive and Real”
“No, I’m talking about something… Exclusive and Real”
November 14, 2025 at 11:00 AM
“Are you talking about heaven?”
“No, I’m talking about something… Exclusive and Real”
“No, I’m talking about something… Exclusive and Real”
for a literary non-hottie, JCO is certainly having a moment
November 11, 2025 at 11:07 AM
for a literary non-hottie, JCO is certainly having a moment
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COBBLER: Oh woe is me! I'm too poorly to finish these fine leather shoes!
~next day~
COBBLER: Goodness! My work was finished overnight with perfect craftsmanship by kindly elves!
~that night~
COBBLER: (loudly) Oh how dearly I need to shave my armpits, pubic mound, legs and anus with no razor burn!
~next day~
COBBLER: Goodness! My work was finished overnight with perfect craftsmanship by kindly elves!
~that night~
COBBLER: (loudly) Oh how dearly I need to shave my armpits, pubic mound, legs and anus with no razor burn!
November 10, 2025 at 12:13 AM
COBBLER: Oh woe is me! I'm too poorly to finish these fine leather shoes!
~next day~
COBBLER: Goodness! My work was finished overnight with perfect craftsmanship by kindly elves!
~that night~
COBBLER: (loudly) Oh how dearly I need to shave my armpits, pubic mound, legs and anus with no razor burn!
~next day~
COBBLER: Goodness! My work was finished overnight with perfect craftsmanship by kindly elves!
~that night~
COBBLER: (loudly) Oh how dearly I need to shave my armpits, pubic mound, legs and anus with no razor burn!
shea whigham is the funniest villain, those eyebrows don’t fuck around
November 8, 2025 at 12:54 PM
shea whigham is the funniest villain, those eyebrows don’t fuck around
“the protective mother” lol
Diane Ladd, a three-time Academy Award nominee and mother of actress Laura Dern, has died at 89. Her roles ranged from the brash waitress in "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" to the protective mother in "Wild at Heart. https://cnn.it/4nFjjMS
November 4, 2025 at 1:50 AM
“the protective mother” lol
there is no such thing as a “music year”
October 29, 2025 at 11:58 PM
there is no such thing as a “music year”
a bald man, with long hair
Someone doesn’t remember how badly going to a video store sucked, and just generally how much worse things were in the 90s-2000s. Oh, it doesn’t work perfectly? Sometimes they just didn’t have the thing you wanted. We live in an era of unprecedented media abundance and it’s has spoiled us rotten.
I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭
October 20, 2025 at 4:11 AM
a bald man, with long hair
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sam altman is always making a face like he just woke up from general anesthesia and the surgeon is telling him that his Muppet Procedure was only partially successful
October 13, 2025 at 9:06 PM
sam altman is always making a face like he just woke up from general anesthesia and the surgeon is telling him that his Muppet Procedure was only partially successful
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Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/
October 13, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/
that guy that mortgaged his house and built one rope bridge in the woods
October 13, 2025 at 9:54 AM
that guy that mortgaged his house and built one rope bridge in the woods
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Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
October 11, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
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TREBEK: According to the lyrics of rapper Lil Ten Five Lb Labey, your nose bridge will be snapping and your cranium will be cracking when you let her drop 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 bowling ball sized snack on your face.
CONTESTANT:
CONTESTANT:
let me preface this by saying I've had sex, and most of the people I've had sex with had pussies. what is a fifteen pound pussy.
December 11, 2024 at 3:43 AM
TREBEK: According to the lyrics of rapper Lil Ten Five Lb Labey, your nose bridge will be snapping and your cranium will be cracking when you let her drop 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 bowling ball sized snack on your face.
CONTESTANT:
CONTESTANT:
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