phylan
@phylan.website
Reposted by phylan
what’s more virgin than a computer
December 3, 2025 at 1:24 PM
what’s more virgin than a computer
Reposted by phylan
Today in Schism:
Robert Griffin III claims the committee is “persecuting Christians” by ranking Notre Dame ahead of BYU
Robert Griffin III claims the committee is “persecuting Christians” by ranking Notre Dame ahead of BYU
December 3, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Today in Schism:
Robert Griffin III claims the committee is “persecuting Christians” by ranking Notre Dame ahead of BYU
Robert Griffin III claims the committee is “persecuting Christians” by ranking Notre Dame ahead of BYU
Reposted by phylan
changing my title to secretary of war and immediately wetting my pants after doing war crimes in front of everyone
December 3, 2025 at 4:00 AM
changing my title to secretary of war and immediately wetting my pants after doing war crimes in front of everyone
Reposted by phylan
remastered all my childhood home videos in 4K and you can see, off to the side, the faceless and ageless being puppeteering all of my words and actions
December 3, 2025 at 1:40 AM
remastered all my childhood home videos in 4K and you can see, off to the side, the faceless and ageless being puppeteering all of my words and actions
Reposted by phylan
I shrunk the pronatalists so I can hear their delightful thoughts whenever I want from my own shirt pocket
ᴵ ᵇᵉᵃʳ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ
ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ
\
🔘👄🔘 🔲👄🔲
/
ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ʳᵉᵍᵃˡᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ
ˢᵗʳᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦˡᵈ
ᴵ ᵇᵉᵃʳ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ
ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ
\
🔘👄🔘 🔲👄🔲
/
ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ʳᵉᵍᵃˡᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ
ˢᵗʳᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦˡᵈ
April 25, 2025 at 11:55 PM
I shrunk the pronatalists so I can hear their delightful thoughts whenever I want from my own shirt pocket
ᴵ ᵇᵉᵃʳ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ
ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ
\
🔘👄🔘 🔲👄🔲
/
ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ʳᵉᵍᵃˡᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ
ˢᵗʳᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦˡᵈ
ᴵ ᵇᵉᵃʳ ʷʰᶦᵗᵉ ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ
ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ᵐᵒʳᵉ
\
🔘👄🔘 🔲👄🔲
/
ᴸᵉᵗ ᵘˢ ʳᵉᵍᵃˡᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ
ˢᵗʳᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦˡᵈ
in a million years you'll never guess the type of scandal that caused the assistant secretary of the Georgia GOP to resign yesterday. oh you guessed trying to fuck a child. ok yeah you got it actually
December 3, 2025 at 12:19 AM
in a million years you'll never guess the type of scandal that caused the assistant secretary of the Georgia GOP to resign yesterday. oh you guessed trying to fuck a child. ok yeah you got it actually
Reposted by phylan
Was reminded of my very favorite tweet of all time today:
December 2, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Was reminded of my very favorite tweet of all time today:
Reposted by phylan
Reposted by phylan
Hey man why aren’t you referring to the NYT review—ohhhh I see
December 2, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Hey man why aren’t you referring to the NYT review—ohhhh I see
Reposted by phylan
Reposted by phylan
pretty funny that MLB has assembled a council of unpaid influencers who they hope to disseminate their talking points in a labor battle
When MLB created a fan council, it wasn't long before league made its pitch on labor issues
www.nytimes.com
December 2, 2025 at 5:30 PM
pretty funny that MLB has assembled a council of unpaid influencers who they hope to disseminate their talking points in a labor battle
"How is it that we remain brave and steadfast, even while you foul little wretches plead for sugary journalism treats"
For my part, I would say that questioning the framing of some Times stories—for example, the highlighting of Trump’s putative emotions or the foregrounding of what he says (even when, as is often the case, what he says is false)—is not an indication that I want my “views validated.”
December 2, 2025 at 5:14 PM
"How is it that we remain brave and steadfast, even while you foul little wretches plead for sugary journalism treats"
Reposted by phylan
me feeding a baby
December 1, 2025 at 10:28 PM
me feeding a baby
Reposted by phylan
Reposted by phylan
I heard there was a reggae song
By Daddy Yankee, from San Juan
That topped the charts from LA to Ibiza
It goes like this, the kick, the snare
And synthesizers everywhere
The dancehall king composing Gasolina
Gasoliina
Gasoliiina
Gasoliiina
Dame más gasoliiiiina
By Daddy Yankee, from San Juan
That topped the charts from LA to Ibiza
It goes like this, the kick, the snare
And synthesizers everywhere
The dancehall king composing Gasolina
Gasoliina
Gasoliiina
Gasoliiina
Dame más gasoliiiiina
December 1, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I heard there was a reggae song
By Daddy Yankee, from San Juan
That topped the charts from LA to Ibiza
It goes like this, the kick, the snare
And synthesizers everywhere
The dancehall king composing Gasolina
Gasoliina
Gasoliiina
Gasoliiina
Dame más gasoliiiiina
By Daddy Yankee, from San Juan
That topped the charts from LA to Ibiza
It goes like this, the kick, the snare
And synthesizers everywhere
The dancehall king composing Gasolina
Gasoliina
Gasoliiina
Gasoliiina
Dame más gasoliiiiina
Reposted by phylan
anyone need their horse rotated?
September 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
anyone need their horse rotated?
Reposted by phylan
Every sentence here is even crazier than the last.
December 2, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Every sentence here is even crazier than the last.
I think the Giants will pull this out
December 2, 2025 at 2:52 AM
I think the Giants will pull this out
the worst of Trump's crimes is turning the FBI into a laughingstock department that nobody trusts to administer justice
December 2, 2025 at 1:49 AM
the worst of Trump's crimes is turning the FBI into a laughingstock department that nobody trusts to administer justice
"PART 12: MIDNIGHT ON THE DOORSTEP OF HADES. BY RYAN LIZZA"
December 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
"PART 12: MIDNIGHT ON THE DOORSTEP OF HADES. BY RYAN LIZZA"
Reposted by phylan
Reposted by phylan
I received an "F" on my dental school paper for writing "the tooth fairy takes 'em while you sleep" and now I'm suing the school for religious discrimination
December 1, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I received an "F" on my dental school paper for writing "the tooth fairy takes 'em while you sleep" and now I'm suing the school for religious discrimination