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@platero.bsky.social
140 followers 260 following 67 posts
standard-issue lousiana suburban dad
he/him
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ambignostic.bsky.social
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do] DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it] mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it] DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently] mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage] DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf] DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch] mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car] DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue] mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over] DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine] DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11] mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it] DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint] mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door] DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape] mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over] DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent] mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string] DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud] mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter] DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying] mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose] DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
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ambignostic.bsky.social
Oh man, how sad. I was so pleased to discover that brilliant tweet was just one of several in a hilarious back and forth. Rest In Posts, Mike F.
ambignostic.bsky.social Cris (without an H) @ambignostic.bsky.social · Dec 26
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do] DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it] mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it] DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently] mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage] DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf] DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch] mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car] DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue] mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over] DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine] DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11] mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it] DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint] mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door] DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape] mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over] DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent] mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string] DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud] mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter] DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying] mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose] DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it
December 30, 2025 at 2:59 PM
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lukeoneil47.bsky.social
One of the best to ever do it
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
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tbone.malware-virus.biz
Hawk Tuah the world
The Lord has come
Let Earth spit on that thang
December 27, 2025 at 9:02 PM
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scalzi.com
Fun fact: Years ago I signed a contract for "The Big One: An Oral History of the First Interstellar War" and then World War Z came out, was huge and we shelved it. Recently I wondered if it was time to revisit the concept AND NOW I SEE THIS UGH WHY MAX BROOKS WHY

(Also, can't wait to read it)
maxbrooks.bsky.social Max Brooks @maxbrooks.bsky.social · 21d
New book on its way! For the last few years I’ve been working on ‘The First Hundred Hours, a story of Alien Invasion.’ Updates coming soon!
A manuscript titled “THE FIRST HUNDRED HOURS, A STORY OF ALIEN INVASION” by Max Brooks
December 28, 2025 at 1:41 AM
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nstenhouse.bsky.social
Mamdani will be sworn in in the station that inspired the Turtles lair in TMNT 2: The Secret Of The Ooze
December 29, 2025 at 3:50 PM
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kennylogins.bsky.social
DVS @DVSblast You call this a "hint" of lime you fucking fascist? This is a fucking book of revelations of lime. #Tostitos 10:43 PM • Jan 7, 2012
December 21, 2025 at 2:49 PM
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kennylogins.bsky.social
roo @jakepaulsartre.bsky.social SHITPOSTER: two tiddies, both alike in dignity TUMBLR EMIGRE: perfectly symmetrical breasts do not have more inherent dignity than asymmetrical breasts, which are actually very common & completely normal, just say you hate women and be done with it SHITPOSTER: SHITPOSTER: a tale of two tiddies November 14, 2025 at 5:27 PM
December 22, 2025 at 4:13 PM
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kennylogins.bsky.social
reki ver ka @reki.gay "babies are born worshipping unknown gods" is one of the most incredible dwarf fortress bugs i have heard of. its poetry. Nov 11, 2025 at 12:18 PM
December 29, 2025 at 2:30 PM
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kennylogins.bsky.social
genuine trappist
ascalaphid.com ascalaphid @ascalaphid.com · 3d
spider cider
salticid monk getting sauced
December 28, 2025 at 2:35 AM
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junlper.beer
December 28, 2025 at 5:21 AM
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rob-sheridan.com
For your holiday ambiance, I've made a hypnotic yule log fireplace with ultra slow motion macro footage of flames stretching & warping like liquid as fire reacts with calcium chloride & barium. This is real fire I filmed, not CGI or AI.

10hrs, 4K, crackling sounds, no music, no ads. Happy holidays!
10 Hours Hypnotic Fireplace Ambiance – 4K Macro Slow-Motion Color Flames, Crackling Fire (No Music)
YouTube video by Rob Sheridan
youtu.be
December 23, 2025 at 8:46 PM
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cait.bsky.social
joining the "cybertruck owners only" group on fb is one of the best decisions i've ever made. every so often when i'm scrolling through fb getting pissed off, i get to see a little treat like this
Cybertruck Owners Only Joe Sawyer • 19h • O ... X Had an issue stopping my Cybertruck from a low speed the other day and had to make a choice to crash it or risk going tumbling down a mountain to probable death. Sucks to see, but it held up well and only a few minor scrapes and bruises. Still going over every choice made and trying to understand why it would not stop and was gaining speed from 5 mph to 12+ while on the brakes. ABS was probably hurting more than helping on this 26° downhill angle. Hoping to be able to talk to someone at Tesla as I have the crash recorder data already. [cybertruck upside down like the shitty little brick it is
December 26, 2025 at 4:11 PM
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frankcifaldi.bsky.social
Merry Christmas! If you'd like to spend 45 minutes celebrating video game history with me, we're about to debut The Untold Story of the Nintendo Entertainment System. I worked on his ALL YEAR, and I genuinely think it will reshape how we all think about the system. www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJvp...
The Untold Story of the Nintendo Entertainment System
YouTube video by The Video Game History Foundation
www.youtube.com
December 25, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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wapplehouse.bsky.social
I don’t give a shit about your accomplishments this year. What’s the dumbest shit you did the past 12 months? The truly stupidest decision you made in 2025?
December 24, 2025 at 2:33 PM
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dangercart.bsky.social
That a dude with a couple cameras and a plate of appetizers can make something worth $82.5 million and a media company looks at that and goes "couldn't we make even more money if we had AI do it?" tells you exactly how stupid these people are
thedesk.net TheDesk.net @thedesk.net · Dec 12
The $82.5 million sale of "Hot Ones" studio First We Feast is part of a broader strategy at BuzzFeed to shift away from human editors, writers and content producers in favor of artificial intelligence, which result in "high-margin, tech-enabled revenue lines."
BuzzFeed sells "Hot Ones" studio for $82.5 million as it pursues more AI-driven content
The company said the sale will allow it to depend less on human-created content in favor of "high-margin, tech-enabled revenue lines."
thedesk.net
December 13, 2024 at 1:31 PM
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paulburley.bsky.social
Just passing through the Pennines (namely Royston Vasey) as I head back to Manchester. The shops offer some rather questionable Christmas card options.
December 22, 2025 at 12:35 PM
how cute, she and her new boyfriend have matching eyeliner
Erica kirk looking really not sad in a sparkly outfit
December 22, 2025 at 4:42 AM
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rincewind.run
*tapping the sign again*
rincewind.run Micah @rincewind.run · 14d
I know that everyone is like “oh the whole point of this is to destroy CBS, they actually want to run it into the ground” and I’m sure plenty of folks will be happy if they do

but David Ellison and Bari Weiss don’t want that! they really think they’ve got something! they are just very bad at this
the-independent.com The Independent @the-independent.com · 14d
Bari Weiss’ much-hyped CBS News town hall with Erika Kirk was a massive ratings flop
December 22, 2025 at 4:18 AM
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jakepaulsartre.bsky.social
This is what Erika Kirk: Hero sees when she lets JD smash missionary style for Western Civilization
December 22, 2025 at 3:34 AM
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annabower.bsky.social
Per NY Times’s Michael Grynbaum on X, this is Sharyn Alfonsi’s email to her “60 Minutes” colleagues in full:
News Team, Thank you for the notes and texts. I apologize for not reaching out earlier. I learned on Saturday that Bari Weiss spiked our story, INSIDE CECOT, which was supposed to air tonight. We (Ori and I) asked for a call to discuss her decision. She did not afford us that courtesy/opportunity. Our story was screened five times and cleared by both CBS attorneys and Standards and Practices. It is factually correct. In my view, pulling it now-after every rigorous internal check has been met is not an editorial decision, it is a political one. We requested responses to questions and/or interviews with DHS, the White House, and the State Department. Government silence is a statement, not a VETO. Their refusal to be interviewed is a tactical maneuver designed to kill the story. If the administration's refusal to participate becomes a valid reason to spike a story, we have effectively handed them a "kill switch" for any reporting they find inconvenient. If the standard for airing a story becomes "the government must agree to be interviewed," then the government effectively gains control over the 60 Minutes broadcast. We go from an investigative powerhouse to a stenographer for the state. These men risked their lives to speak with us. We have a moral and professional obligation to the sources who entrusted us with their stories. Abandoning them now is a betrayal of the most basic tenet of journalism: giving voice to the voiceless. CBS spiked the Jeffrey Wigand interview due to legal concerns, nearly destroying the credibility of this broadcast. It took years to recover from that "low point." By pulling this story to shield an administration, we are repeating that history, but for political optics rather than legal ones. We have been promoting this story on social media for days. Our viewers are expecting it. When it fails to air without a credible explanation, the public will correctly identify this as corporate censorship. We are trading 50 years of "Gold Standard" reputation for a single week of political quiet. I care too much about this broadcast to watch it be dismantled without a fight. Sharyn
December 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
I don't do elf on the shelf, rocking horses, or grandfather clocks because they are all asking for ghosts to show up and possess my kid
lillaylaxox.bsky.social layla 🫶🏼 @lillaylaxox.bsky.social · 9d
telling kids that Santa sends these elves to spy on them is actually insane
December 22, 2025 at 2:36 AM
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scalzi.com
I mean, I thought he looked pretty great, also I will watch this special
kumail.bsky.social Kumail Nanjiani @kumail.bsky.social · 11d
A WORD (two words) FOR MY HATERS. Watch #NightThoughts on Hulu.
December 19, 2025 at 3:17 PM
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rudbeckia.bsky.social
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
December 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM