Waitress: Would you like to hear the specials?

Customer: Sure.

Waitress: 🎶Stop your messing around. Ah ah ah. Better think of your future. Ah ah ah. Time to straighten right out....🎶

the loneliness epidemic is actually a weirdness epidemic. just stop being weird

"This Bud's For You" commercial where instead of a gun Bud Dwyer pulls an ice cold six pack from that bag and shares it with his colleagues as they announce his corruption charges are dropped

Wall Street goofed extra bad here, because now Americans have no way to get rid of their hype bubble oligarch politically except by destroying his hype bubble empire. The only path out of Musk's unelected coup runs directly through the capital markets, and the fragile valuations that prop him up.

🚨 BREAKING: Joe Biden Grants Clemency To Leonard Peltier www.huffpost.com/entry/joe-bi...

“I'll show you light now. It burns bright forever. No more blue tomorrows. You on high now, love.” — David Lynch, RIP

God damn it

The "Did Jimmy Carter Die Today" bot author used the wrong timezone and declared he wasn't dead today at 6AM lmao

(texting my friend Evil Larry)

me: whats up dude

Larry: matters most vile

feel like cyberpunk has had its day. It’s time for cybercrossover and cyberpowerviolence to get the spotlight

me: i had to have updog put down
them: what's updog
me (crying): my best friend

Introduce yourself with 4 video games

Fun fact about the band Fugazi: despite being the most popular act in the “post-hardcore” genre, they were hilariously bad at business, selling tickets for way below the normal price and not even bothering to sell merchandise. If one of them had taken a business class they might be millionaires!

Hello all: It is with a heavy heart that I remove my Starter Pack of "Trustworthy Mesopotamian Copper Ingot Merchants Within the City-State of Ur."

I have been informed about some pretty unfortunate oversights on my part and ultimately platformed some creators who should not have been platformed.

Welp deleted my Twitter accounts entirely. Been lurking here for a bit, waiting for a critical mass of users. Thank God it finally came.