Steph
@smilhouse.bsky.social
i don't post. i might reskeet things that make me laugh. i don't follow back. you're not funny.
Reposted by Steph
welcome to bluesky, a website where everyone knows what pogs are and what their favorite slammer looked like
You can just stack thin mints like pogs and say you tripped and fell with your mouth open. No one can question that.
January 27, 2026 at 3:26 AM
welcome to bluesky, a website where everyone knows what pogs are and what their favorite slammer looked like
Reposted by Steph
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Steph
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
January 19, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Reposted by Steph
I wish the Skarsgards had a Keeping Up With the Kardashians style show where they all eat salads and lament things
January 16, 2026 at 11:01 PM
I wish the Skarsgards had a Keeping Up With the Kardashians style show where they all eat salads and lament things
Reposted by Steph
Reposted by Steph
Thank god we're done with all that Project 2025 shit.
January 1, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Thank god we're done with all that Project 2025 shit.
Reposted by Steph
We’re leaving the expulsion of urine from the bladder in 2025. I’m taking the No Pissing In 2026 Pledge
January 1, 2026 at 3:09 AM
We’re leaving the expulsion of urine from the bladder in 2025. I’m taking the No Pissing In 2026 Pledge
Reposted by Steph
Reposted by Steph
We Wish You Baby,
A Merry It's Cold
Christmas Outside
🤝
not going until
you get some
A Merry It's Cold
Christmas Outside
🤝
not going until
you get some
December 25, 2025 at 7:29 PM
We Wish You Baby,
A Merry It's Cold
Christmas Outside
🤝
not going until
you get some
A Merry It's Cold
Christmas Outside
🤝
not going until
you get some
Reposted by Steph
The Grinch in the studio trying to record a comeback to Thurl Ravenscroft like Drake coming back at Kendrick
December 2, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The Grinch in the studio trying to record a comeback to Thurl Ravenscroft like Drake coming back at Kendrick
Reposted by Steph
Quick favor if it’s not too much trouble: When people finally have sex in a Christmas movie can we not cut away? If you’re insisting this Frosty is in fact hot then let us see him put in the work slamming the damp. Thank you.
December 15, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Quick favor if it’s not too much trouble: When people finally have sex in a Christmas movie can we not cut away? If you’re insisting this Frosty is in fact hot then let us see him put in the work slamming the damp. Thank you.
Reposted by Steph
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
December 24, 2024 at 10:30 PM
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
Reposted by Steph
Santa Tweet! Santa Tweet!
December 24, 2023 at 6:32 PM
Santa Tweet! Santa Tweet!
Reposted by Steph
MAYOR: The whole city is in danger! You've got to do something!
THE CHIEF: You're right....I've got to call in Sciatica Man.
SCIATICA MAN: Sorry, my sciatica is acting up.
THE CHIEF: You're right....I've got to call in Sciatica Man.
SCIATICA MAN: Sorry, my sciatica is acting up.
November 30, 2025 at 5:36 PM
MAYOR: The whole city is in danger! You've got to do something!
THE CHIEF: You're right....I've got to call in Sciatica Man.
SCIATICA MAN: Sorry, my sciatica is acting up.
THE CHIEF: You're right....I've got to call in Sciatica Man.
SCIATICA MAN: Sorry, my sciatica is acting up.
Reposted by Steph
Millennial win! Back got fucked up but it’s kind of better now, not good but better. Like the toilet is not an issue at this point.
November 25, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Millennial win! Back got fucked up but it’s kind of better now, not good but better. Like the toilet is not an issue at this point.
Reposted by Steph
Moe-rry Christmas Everyone
November 18, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Moe-rry Christmas Everyone
Reposted by Steph
If I
Wanna take a guy
Home with me tonight
It’s none of your business
And if I
Am tryin to steal a pie
From Whole Foods
That’s none of your business
Wanna take a guy
Home with me tonight
It’s none of your business
And if I
Am tryin to steal a pie
From Whole Foods
That’s none of your business
November 15, 2025 at 9:02 PM
If I
Wanna take a guy
Home with me tonight
It’s none of your business
And if I
Am tryin to steal a pie
From Whole Foods
That’s none of your business
Wanna take a guy
Home with me tonight
It’s none of your business
And if I
Am tryin to steal a pie
From Whole Foods
That’s none of your business
Reposted by Steph
I am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘cat
looking for:
⚪️ A relationship
⚪️ A friendship
🔘 little a salami
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘cat
looking for:
⚪️ A relationship
⚪️ A friendship
🔘 little a salami
May 9, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘cat
looking for:
⚪️ A relationship
⚪️ A friendship
🔘 little a salami
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘cat
looking for:
⚪️ A relationship
⚪️ A friendship
🔘 little a salami
Reposted by Steph
Reposted by Steph
ok tomorrow the kids stay home and grown ups get to go around asking for drugs and razor blades
November 1, 2025 at 4:36 AM
ok tomorrow the kids stay home and grown ups get to go around asking for drugs and razor blades
Reposted by Steph
I hope this email never finds you. I hope you’re free.
October 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
I hope this email never finds you. I hope you’re free.
Reposted by Steph
I’m sorry but dems are going to run out of thoughtful, smart politicians pretty quick if they can’t accept someone with a simple King Leopold tattoo that says “The Congo Deserved It.”
October 22, 2025 at 4:09 AM
I’m sorry but dems are going to run out of thoughtful, smart politicians pretty quick if they can’t accept someone with a simple King Leopold tattoo that says “The Congo Deserved It.”
Reposted by Steph
Decades of Twitter have made children terse with their jokes, mindful of character count limits. They no longer laboriously say "Why was six afraid of seven?". They quickly convey the important parts, "six seven".
October 21, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Decades of Twitter have made children terse with their jokes, mindful of character count limits. They no longer laboriously say "Why was six afraid of seven?". They quickly convey the important parts, "six seven".
Reposted by Steph
i chased down someone who dropped their keys earlier today and now i just turned in someone’s lost wallet, too. what’s next, a baby? a baby with powers that I have to raise with good morals so it doesn’t go all brightburn? or worse a plain baby
October 19, 2025 at 8:17 PM
i chased down someone who dropped their keys earlier today and now i just turned in someone’s lost wallet, too. what’s next, a baby? a baby with powers that I have to raise with good morals so it doesn’t go all brightburn? or worse a plain baby
Reposted by Steph
if water is so good for me then how can i choke on it? i’ve never been betrayed by diet coke going down the wrong pipe
October 18, 2025 at 1:51 AM
if water is so good for me then how can i choke on it? i’ve never been betrayed by diet coke going down the wrong pipe