Søren Tolstrup
@stc4000.bsky.social
🇩🇰 Markgreve af Kåremose. Foragter mennesker, der siger "en kilomet". Spiser risengrød året rundt. Det er det hele.
Pinned
Der er stadig nogle, der mener, at Fabergé-hønen kom først.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Relatives Gather From Across The Country To Stare Into Screens Together https://theonion.com/relatives-gather-from-across-the-country-to-stare-into-1819575960/
December 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Relatives Gather From Across The Country To Stare Into Screens Together https://theonion.com/relatives-gather-from-across-the-country-to-stare-into-1819575960/
Såe… En lille lakridspibe er en lakridspipette?
December 22, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Såe… En lille lakridspibe er en lakridspipette?
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
“Know what I got for Hanukkah?”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
December 21, 2025 at 6:53 PM
“Know what I got for Hanukkah?”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
Så behøver I ikke foretage søgningen.
December 16, 2025 at 7:41 AM
Så behøver I ikke foretage søgningen.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
My boss: please stop using air quotes every time you say work
December 13, 2025 at 12:57 AM
My boss: please stop using air quotes every time you say work
Der er stadig nogle, der mener, at Fabergé-hønen kom først.
December 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Der er stadig nogle, der mener, at Fabergé-hønen kom først.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
SON: Can I have a cookie?
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
December 3, 2025 at 5:07 PM
SON: Can I have a cookie?
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
ME: Ask nicer.
SON: May I please have a cookie?
ME: Like a Canadian.
SON: So sorry, could I please trouble you for one of your delicious cookies, good sir, eh? It’s okay if you say no. There’s probably a more deserving child.
ME: *hands over cookie*
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
November 29, 2025 at 1:58 PM
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Watch carefully and you can see right through her eyes into the headrest.
#WorldBollardAssociation
#WorldBollardAssociation
November 29, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Watch carefully and you can see right through her eyes into the headrest.
#WorldBollardAssociation
#WorldBollardAssociation
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
November 18, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
November 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
November 5, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Art teacher: I think you've misunderstood. It's the models who will be nude.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Me: Well this is awkward.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Roses are red
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
October 27, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Roses are red
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats
October 20, 2025 at 3:58 PM
they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
June 23, 2025 at 11:27 AM
DATE: So what do you do?
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
ME: I race cars.
HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
i smell a pulitzer
January 27, 2025 at 5:04 PM
i smell a pulitzer
Tænker du nogle gange på, hvordan det går med Hampus fra “Den hvide sten”?
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
October 11, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Tænker du nogle gange på, hvordan det går med Hampus fra “Den hvide sten”?
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Det gør jeg heller ikke.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
“Bollede ham i går”
September 20, 2025 at 9:37 AM
“Bollede ham i går”
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog #palindrome
February 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog #palindrome
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
#palindrome
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
July 10, 2025 at 7:46 PM
#palindrome
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Eva was as selfless as a wave.
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Kim Jong-Un Arrives At Summit On Slow-Moving, Heavily Fortified Mule
September 3, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Kim Jong-Un Arrives At Summit On Slow-Moving, Heavily Fortified Mule
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Zzzing!
September 2, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Zzzing!
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
August 23, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
https://theonion.com/local-oaf-not-sure-what-part-of-counter-you-order-at-1819577026/
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Reposted by Søren Tolstrup
Trump is showing Presidents Zelensky and Macron his “4 more years” hat during their White House visit.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
August 19, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Trump is showing Presidents Zelensky and Macron his “4 more years” hat during their White House visit.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.
Donald Trump, global disgrace and laughingstock.