Pinned
Spooning always turns into forking at some point
Reposted by Daminal
penis is short for penisaurus
February 2, 2026 at 6:03 PM
penis is short for penisaurus
Reposted by Daminal
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
Reposted by Daminal
I’m the MacGyver of connecting dots seemingly out of nowhere
February 2, 2026 at 5:39 AM
I’m the MacGyver of connecting dots seemingly out of nowhere
Reposted by Daminal
i see dead people’s dicks
*my dixth sense*
*my dixth sense*
February 2, 2026 at 2:27 AM
i see dead people’s dicks
*my dixth sense*
*my dixth sense*
It's the start of the 'I pretend to like my coworkers but secretly wish for their demise' work week
February 2, 2026 at 12:48 PM
It's the start of the 'I pretend to like my coworkers but secretly wish for their demise' work week
Reposted by Daminal
If by lewds, you mean me in my white castle t-shirt, then, yes, I have lewds.
February 1, 2026 at 4:45 PM
If by lewds, you mean me in my white castle t-shirt, then, yes, I have lewds.
Reposted by Daminal
jockey:
owner: mind if i pay you under the stable
owner: mind if i pay you under the stable
February 1, 2026 at 4:08 PM
jockey:
owner: mind if i pay you under the stable
owner: mind if i pay you under the stable
Reposted by Daminal
It's awfully drafty living in this house of cards.
February 1, 2026 at 3:35 PM
It's awfully drafty living in this house of cards.
If we start dating now, I'll still be able to make Valentine's dinner reservations at White Castle
February 1, 2026 at 3:26 PM
If we start dating now, I'll still be able to make Valentine's dinner reservations at White Castle
Reposted by Daminal
carbs are like that naughty friend who calls after you’ve gotten your life together
February 1, 2026 at 3:24 AM
carbs are like that naughty friend who calls after you’ve gotten your life together
Reposted by Daminal
"I need a brand new friend who doesn't bother me"
February 1, 2026 at 11:58 AM
"I need a brand new friend who doesn't bother me"
Reposted by Daminal
Telling me who’s gonna be there isn’t gonna make me wanna go more…
February 1, 2026 at 12:31 PM
Telling me who’s gonna be there isn’t gonna make me wanna go more…
Happy Bone Thugs N Harmony Day
February 1, 2026 at 12:07 PM
Happy Bone Thugs N Harmony Day
Crip walking to the coffee pot
January 31, 2026 at 5:06 PM
Crip walking to the coffee pot
Reposted by Daminal
If dog not allowed on couch why is couch dog shaped
January 31, 2026 at 2:39 PM
If dog not allowed on couch why is couch dog shaped
Jokes on you! That's a stolen sweet potato in my pocket
January 31, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Jokes on you! That's a stolen sweet potato in my pocket
I choose my pets by the level of derp they have
January 31, 2026 at 2:59 AM
I choose my pets by the level of derp they have
Reposted by Daminal
you'll have to peel the jarlic from my cold dead hands
January 31, 2026 at 2:45 AM
you'll have to peel the jarlic from my cold dead hands
Reposted by Daminal
My left butt cheek is twitching. That means 2 more weeks of January
January 30, 2026 at 11:22 PM
My left butt cheek is twitching. That means 2 more weeks of January
Reposted by Daminal
am i the asshole
my asshole: sometimes
my asshole: sometimes
January 30, 2026 at 8:59 PM
am i the asshole
my asshole: sometimes
my asshole: sometimes
Reposted by Daminal
him: wanna do something kinky?
me: yeah, tie me up and feed me taffy so I can’t pick it out of my teeth
him:
me: you can have some too
me: yeah, tie me up and feed me taffy so I can’t pick it out of my teeth
him:
me: you can have some too
January 30, 2026 at 10:46 PM
him: wanna do something kinky?
me: yeah, tie me up and feed me taffy so I can’t pick it out of my teeth
him:
me: you can have some too
me: yeah, tie me up and feed me taffy so I can’t pick it out of my teeth
him:
me: you can have some too
Reposted by Daminal
are my beans cool?
-me flirting
-me flirting
January 30, 2026 at 9:55 PM
are my beans cool?
-me flirting
-me flirting
Reposted by Daminal
I love that my silver hairs are growing in all kinky and witchy to match my upgraded personality
January 21, 2026 at 7:06 PM
I love that my silver hairs are growing in all kinky and witchy to match my upgraded personality
Reposted by Daminal
Can’t. Getting steroid injections in my jaw so I can eat a bag of beef jerky.
January 30, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Can’t. Getting steroid injections in my jaw so I can eat a bag of beef jerky.
Reposted by Daminal
Ask your doctor if pharmaceutical grade grilled cheese sandwiches are right for you.
January 26, 2026 at 4:15 AM
Ask your doctor if pharmaceutical grade grilled cheese sandwiches are right for you.