Brett Weed
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tarheelphan.bsky.social
Brett Weed
@tarheelphan.bsky.social
Public health scientist, dad to a pack of three girls and three dogs, recovering biochemist, and Unicorn/Pirate/Tar Heel/Blue Jay.
Reposted by Brett Weed
Got a call from Chief of Security Donnie Thompson. He is at Gimghoul to supervise deliveries for tomorrow's festivities (theme: "We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999!"). The 'Ghoul is trashed. It seems Jordon Hudson and Jen Belichick have escalated their verbal feud to a physical one.
November 28, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
I asked ChatGPT how to talk with children regarding what IU did to Purdue tonight. This was the answer.
November 29, 2025 at 5:08 AM
This terrifies even me
November 28, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
"Runctitiononal features"? "Medical fymblal"? "1 Tol Line storee"? This gets worse the longer you look at it. But it's got to be good, because it was published in Nature Scientific Reports last week: www.nature.com/articles/s41... h/t @asa.tsbalans.se
November 27, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
This Thanksgiving don’t miss a single moment with your loved ones – whether heartwarming or cringeworthy. We’ll get you there! Also, if you need an escape route, we’ll be your ride. 👀 🦃 🍽️
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
I believe eigen fly. I believe eigen touch the sky.
November 26, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
Every American should have this in their wallet:
November 25, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
fourth quarter cowboys-eagles
November 24, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Go birds.
November 23, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
I once knew a Federal bank examiner, and one time someone asked him why we had to KEEP inspecting banks over and over. He basically said every new batch of business school grads invents bank fraud from first principles.
AirBnB CEO calling it “vibe revenue” just 👨‍🍳 😘

The underlying cause of every bubble - debt masquerading as financial innovation - depends on not just short financial memory & speculative neophytism, but reinventing jargon of finance, like how each generation of kids has new ways to say same things.
November 22, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
Clinical ontology implies the existence of translational ontology, an ontology licensing board, alternative ontology, ontological sales reps, and off-label promotion of ontology for other disciplines of philosophy.
Just saw someone described as an "ontologist" and now I want Clinical Ontologist to be a job title.

Welcome to the Department of Clinical Ontology. Let's go over your chart. I see that you are. Are you still as you were or are you otherwise? For your case of being, I prescribe becoming.
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Clinical ontology implies the existence of translational ontology, an ontology licensing board, alternative ontology, ontological sales reps, and off-label promotion of ontology for other disciplines of philosophy.
Just saw someone described as an "ontologist" and now I want Clinical Ontologist to be a job title.

Welcome to the Department of Clinical Ontology. Let's go over your chart. I see that you are. Are you still as you were or are you otherwise? For your case of being, I prescribe becoming.
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
Just saw someone described as an "ontologist" and now I want Clinical Ontologist to be a job title.

Welcome to the Department of Clinical Ontology. Let's go over your chart. I see that you are. Are you still as you were or are you otherwise? For your case of being, I prescribe becoming.
November 21, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
An apposite time to repost this classic
November 22, 2025 at 10:17 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
Cryptographers Held an Election. They Can’t Decrypt the Results.
www.nytimes.com
November 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
It is the joyous season again; the one where AI playlists decide that every version of the Leonard Cohen Hallelujah extended universe is a holiday song. I assume Jeff Buckley’s estate sees a royalty bump this time each year.
November 22, 2025 at 12:24 PM
It is the joyous season again; the one where AI playlists decide that every version of the Leonard Cohen Hallelujah extended universe is a holiday song. I assume Jeff Buckley’s estate sees a royalty bump this time each year.
November 22, 2025 at 12:24 PM
We have once again strayed from God’s light
November 19, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
Here's my Bluesky Wrapped for 2025

- I scolded 64 other users (top 72% of Bluesky users)
- I was scolded by 112 users (top 54% of Bluesky users)

- I explained the joke to the original poster 14 times (top 62% of Bluesky users)

Get yours at bskywrapped2025.bsky.app
November 18, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Four XMas movies to know me by
November 16, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
My wife grew up catholic and I Presbyterian. Before our wedding, a mutual acquaintance staged an intervention to try to prevent my soul being condemned to hell for marrying a papist. Simultaneously, my wife’s grandmother said God wouldn’t be in our marriage because I wasn’t Catholic.
November 16, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Reposted by Brett Weed
if your moderation team bans someone for a harmless unactionable exclamation of disgust, but permits a govt account to say stuff like this,

you need a new moderation team.
November 14, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Reposted by Brett Weed
“Is you takin’ notes on a criminal f-ing conspiracy? Good, upload them to the cloud and make sure everyone reviews them after.”
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 PM