Valorie Castellanos Clark
@thevalorieclark.bsky.social
Book critic, cat apologist.
Author of UNRULY FIGURES.
Author of UNRULY FIGURES.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Flock of Smeagols
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Chappell Rohan
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Sex Bomb-adil.
December 20, 2025 at 4:13 PM
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Flock of Smeagols
Can’t wait to tell my therapist about the moment when a guy I was dumping yesterday angrily called me a goblin and I smiled a toothy grin and thought, “Damn, I wish. I’d love to crunch on men’s bones in the forest.”
December 20, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Can’t wait to tell my therapist about the moment when a guy I was dumping yesterday angrily called me a goblin and I smiled a toothy grin and thought, “Damn, I wish. I’d love to crunch on men’s bones in the forest.”
Currently banging my head on my keyboard because I accidentally sent out a form-ish email and forgot to personalize the big part that says “[PERSONALIZE THIS SECTION]”
Didn’t catch it in time for undo send.
Didn’t catch it in time for undo send.
December 20, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Currently banging my head on my keyboard because I accidentally sent out a form-ish email and forgot to personalize the big part that says “[PERSONALIZE THIS SECTION]”
Didn’t catch it in time for undo send.
Didn’t catch it in time for undo send.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
I'm old enough to have seen a version of this story repeat over multiple decades.
It's old and tired.
It's also very gendered. If you're counting Coldplay as a rock act, and not counting Olivia Rodrigo, that's a you problem.
It's old and tired.
It's also very gendered. If you're counting Coldplay as a rock act, and not counting Olivia Rodrigo, that's a you problem.
Rock Music Struggles to Draw Crowds as Tour Earnings Drop
Rock tours once dominated arenas, but 2025 data shows a shrinking share of total touring revenue, with newer genres eclipsing classic rock on the live-music charts.
share.google
December 13, 2025 at 7:12 AM
I'm old enough to have seen a version of this story repeat over multiple decades.
It's old and tired.
It's also very gendered. If you're counting Coldplay as a rock act, and not counting Olivia Rodrigo, that's a you problem.
It's old and tired.
It's also very gendered. If you're counting Coldplay as a rock act, and not counting Olivia Rodrigo, that's a you problem.
I love the NYC subway. I just watched an older woman sit down on someone’s lap then say “well, if you won’t vacate the seat, prepare to be the seat.”
*chef’s kiss* 10/10, we love to see it
*chef’s kiss* 10/10, we love to see it
December 12, 2025 at 11:31 PM
I love the NYC subway. I just watched an older woman sit down on someone’s lap then say “well, if you won’t vacate the seat, prepare to be the seat.”
*chef’s kiss* 10/10, we love to see it
*chef’s kiss* 10/10, we love to see it
Imagine having all the money and creative power in the world and using it to trash other artists. I’d say get a hobby but he’s already found a bad one.
December 8, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Imagine having all the money and creative power in the world and using it to trash other artists. I’d say get a hobby but he’s already found a bad one.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
People are always like “what do you think x historical figure would do in present day?” And the answer is if they’re pre-mid 19th century, fucking lose their shit at the Natural History Museum.
December 8, 2025 at 7:16 PM
People are always like “what do you think x historical figure would do in present day?” And the answer is if they’re pre-mid 19th century, fucking lose their shit at the Natural History Museum.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
Spin the Bottle
A full bottle of wine is placed in the center of the circle. One player spins, and whoever the wine bottle points to must drink more than two glasses without apologizing that wine makes them sleepy, and they have to be up early to shop for a new ottoman.
A full bottle of wine is placed in the center of the circle. One player spins, and whoever the wine bottle points to must drink more than two glasses without apologizing that wine makes them sleepy, and they have to be up early to shop for a new ottoman.
Middle School Party Games, Revised for Thirty-Five-Year-Olds
Truth or Dare If a player chooses “truth,” they must reveal how much money they make. If they choose “dare,” they must hand someone their phone and...
buff.ly
December 8, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Spin the Bottle
A full bottle of wine is placed in the center of the circle. One player spins, and whoever the wine bottle points to must drink more than two glasses without apologizing that wine makes them sleepy, and they have to be up early to shop for a new ottoman.
A full bottle of wine is placed in the center of the circle. One player spins, and whoever the wine bottle points to must drink more than two glasses without apologizing that wine makes them sleepy, and they have to be up early to shop for a new ottoman.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
The remains of Gresham castle photographed with a regular camera and how it looks with a LiDar drone camera.
December 7, 2025 at 7:58 PM
The remains of Gresham castle photographed with a regular camera and how it looks with a LiDar drone camera.
Bring back Silly Online as a career in 2026
You should be able to get rich being silly online instead of being evil online, that would solve a lot of problems
December 8, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Bring back Silly Online as a career in 2026
The new AA flight progress bar makes me feel like I’m living in video game and I kind of love it for that.
December 8, 2025 at 5:59 PM
The new AA flight progress bar makes me feel like I’m living in video game and I kind of love it for that.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
December 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.
I think if you’re *really* good in this life, you get to come back in the next as a sentient, hungry rug that’s technically a shark.
The Tasselled Wobbegong is a master of disguise that can eat a fish almost as big as itself in one gulp. It's classified as a shark, but when it lays on the sea floor it looks like a harmless rug if you manage to see it. But with powerful jaws and sharp teeth they are no fish to mess with.
December 8, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I think if you’re *really* good in this life, you get to come back in the next as a sentient, hungry rug that’s technically a shark.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
Good on Penn Jillette. Having to come to terms with your entire political identity and philosophy being wrong is not easy and most people could never do it.
December 7, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Good on Penn Jillette. Having to come to terms with your entire political identity and philosophy being wrong is not easy and most people could never do it.
Seems fake, but I’m listening
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
December 8, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Seems fake, but I’m listening
Do you still need to find a gift for a historian or history enthusiast in your life? Boy howdy have I got 101 ideas for you. open.substack.com/pub/unrulyfi...
101+ History Themed Gifts for Everyone in Your Life
Yes, there really are over 100 gift ideas in here for anyone who loves history!
open.substack.com
December 8, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Do you still need to find a gift for a historian or history enthusiast in your life? Boy howdy have I got 101 ideas for you. open.substack.com/pub/unrulyfi...
Spent two hours cleaning up my office/library/growing mushroom pile of books for a 25 second video. Sounds like 2025.
December 6, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Spent two hours cleaning up my office/library/growing mushroom pile of books for a 25 second video. Sounds like 2025.
I’ve never actually *been* caterpillar soup in a cocoon, but I imagine it feels similar to how I feel when I’m emerging from a migraine haze and my joints feel like jelly
December 6, 2025 at 3:35 AM
I’ve never actually *been* caterpillar soup in a cocoon, but I imagine it feels similar to how I feel when I’m emerging from a migraine haze and my joints feel like jelly
Deadline was met. Parking meter was forgotten though—shout out to the angel who paid it for me. Strangers paying someone else’s rundown meters are all that’s giving me hope these days.
December 3, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Deadline was met. Parking meter was forgotten though—shout out to the angel who paid it for me. Strangers paying someone else’s rundown meters are all that’s giving me hope these days.
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
The real question is not "Why is Bluesky so left-coded," the real question is "Why can't the right exist in a social media environment without algorithmic assistance, where people can ignore them"
December 2, 2025 at 3:08 PM
The real question is not "Why is Bluesky so left-coded," the real question is "Why can't the right exist in a social media environment without algorithmic assistance, where people can ignore them"
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
who decided to call it Secret Santa when Nondisclosure Claus was right there
December 1, 2025 at 10:55 PM
who decided to call it Secret Santa when Nondisclosure Claus was right there
(My sudden re-emergence brought to you by my next deadline for the @latimes.com)
(It's today)
(Send coffee)
(It's today)
(Send coffee)
December 2, 2025 at 10:47 PM
(My sudden re-emergence brought to you by my next deadline for the @latimes.com)
(It's today)
(Send coffee)
(It's today)
(Send coffee)
Is today the day I finally lock in to social media again? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT
December 2, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Is today the day I finally lock in to social media again? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT
Reposted by Valorie Castellanos Clark
Did the @latimes.com really call The Radical Fund a #HamiltontheMusical story for the 20th century? Thanks for reading, @thevalorieclark.bsky.social.
www.latimes.com/entertainmen...
www.latimes.com/entertainmen...
October 9, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Did the @latimes.com really call The Radical Fund a #HamiltontheMusical story for the 20th century? Thanks for reading, @thevalorieclark.bsky.social.
www.latimes.com/entertainmen...
www.latimes.com/entertainmen...
I mean… *chef’s kiss* @gregmania.bsky.social on em dashes in @mcsweeneys.net
July 27, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I mean… *chef’s kiss* @gregmania.bsky.social on em dashes in @mcsweeneys.net