Tom Swartz
@tswartz07.bsky.social
I'm the cryptid behind your local Denny's. Hot Sauce, Beers, Tech, Postgres, Amateur Radio. 750,000 Scovilles. Opinions my own, all that jazz.
Big fan of space, both outer and personal.
Big fan of space, both outer and personal.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
if you wrote this scene into a book the editor would accuse you of being hamfisted
As clergy pray, arrests begin
January 23, 2026 at 5:26 PM
if you wrote this scene into a book the editor would accuse you of being hamfisted
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
It has not been lost on me that the two preeminent contemporary uses of LLMs is the infinite generation of 1) CSAM and 2) media that serves no purpose other to publicly denigrate, humiliate, and dominate women and minorities.
January 22, 2026 at 5:53 PM
It has not been lost on me that the two preeminent contemporary uses of LLMs is the infinite generation of 1) CSAM and 2) media that serves no purpose other to publicly denigrate, humiliate, and dominate women and minorities.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Hung a guy at Nuremburg for doing this, FYI. Not "a thing like this" but literally this, exactly.
January 21, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Hung a guy at Nuremburg for doing this, FYI. Not "a thing like this" but literally this, exactly.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
This dude is intense and correct
January 15, 2026 at 9:05 AM
This dude is intense and correct
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Like 12 years ago my friend sent me this picture from his work and it immediately, permanently changed the name of this utensil in my head. The bytes were fully overwritten. I don’t remember the former name of this item and frankly I don’t care
January 9, 2026 at 2:21 AM
Like 12 years ago my friend sent me this picture from his work and it immediately, permanently changed the name of this utensil in my head. The bytes were fully overwritten. I don’t remember the former name of this item and frankly I don’t care
Reposted by Tom Swartz
isn't it wild how we actually live in a world with cyberpsychosis, but instead of being able to get cybernetic limbs it comes from a chat program that "yes ands" too hard
January 13, 2026 at 6:06 PM
isn't it wild how we actually live in a world with cyberpsychosis, but instead of being able to get cybernetic limbs it comes from a chat program that "yes ands" too hard
Reposted by Tom Swartz
and i've been hoping to eat a chili pepper that will do this to me ever since
29 years ago today, Homer Simpson had an epic chili pepper-induced hallucination. “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer” first aired January 5, 1997.
Most of the sequence was animated completely by David Silverman as he wanted it to look exactly as he had imagined it.
Most of the sequence was animated completely by David Silverman as he wanted it to look exactly as he had imagined it.
January 6, 2026 at 1:15 AM
and i've been hoping to eat a chili pepper that will do this to me ever since
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
December 31, 2025 at 7:48 AM
Today is the last day that you can repost this image
Reposted by Tom Swartz
When they ask me what radicalized me
December 23, 2025 at 2:17 AM
When they ask me what radicalized me
Reposted by Tom Swartz
If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
December 22, 2025 at 5:58 PM
If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Reposted by Tom Swartz
I don’t say this often, but I actually do believe Sam Altman on this one
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 9, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I don’t say this often, but I actually do believe Sam Altman on this one
Reposted by Tom Swartz
I’ve found it’s more visually appealing to just paste in his head at the inflection points
April 29, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I’ve found it’s more visually appealing to just paste in his head at the inflection points
Reposted by Tom Swartz
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
December 9, 2025 at 2:27 AM
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
Reposted by Tom Swartz
every time i see that water tower i remember the animaniacs are trapped in there by david zaslav. Yet every story leaves it out
PSKY'S ATTORNEYS: $WBD "appears to have abandoned the semblance and reality of a fair transaction process, thereby abdicating its duties to stockholders, and embarked on a myopic process with a predetermined outcome that favors a single bidder .."
@sherman4949.cnbc.com
www.cnbc.com/2025/12/04/p...
@sherman4949.cnbc.com
www.cnbc.com/2025/12/04/p...
Paramount questions Warner Bros. Discovery on 'fairness and adequacy' of sale process: Read the full letter
Paramount attorneys sent a letter to Warner Bros. Discovery questioning whether its acting in the best interest of shareholders.
www.cnbc.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:15 PM
every time i see that water tower i remember the animaniacs are trapped in there by david zaslav. Yet every story leaves it out
Reposted by Tom Swartz
it's on miro. it's literally on figma. you have to log into okta. it's in jira. it's on zoom. it's on pureref. it's on flow. it's on perforce. it's on slack. you can find it on slack. you can go to slack and find it. log onto slack right now. you can slack it. slack has it for you. it's on slack.
November 12, 2025 at 10:15 PM
it's on miro. it's literally on figma. you have to log into okta. it's in jira. it's on zoom. it's on pureref. it's on flow. it's on perforce. it's on slack. you can find it on slack. you can go to slack and find it. log onto slack right now. you can slack it. slack has it for you. it's on slack.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Everyone excited to buy a Steam Machine.
![Post by christian aka @nopoweradeinusa
woman: you said you had netflix?
me: this is much better
[I open a folder titled “movies” on my computer and the mechanical whirring of an 11 year old SATA hard-drive overwhelms the room entirely]
me: have you seen enter the void?](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:k6kg5ccozcphfcmp4zyx3s64/bafkreifrufej5lrdm2666pw4jkid5u3ej2txw4l7vdfnbn4oabkc7fvktq@jpeg)
November 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Everyone excited to buy a Steam Machine.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
Reposted by Tom Swartz
I entirely forgot that I made this anti-ASMR video (Sound warning headphones users)
October 27, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I entirely forgot that I made this anti-ASMR video (Sound warning headphones users)
Reposted by Tom Swartz
this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread
October 23, 2025 at 12:41 PM
this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread
Reposted by Tom Swartz
my #1 issue for 2026, ahead of everything else including guaranteeing my own rights and safety, is bringing back the stockades for That Fuckin Guy specifically
Tesla brings back ‘Mad Max’ ‘Full Self-Driving’ mode that ignores speed limits
Tesla brings back ‘Mad Max’ ‘Full Self-Driving’ mode that ignores speed limits
Tesla has brought back its ‘Mad Max’ mode for its ‘Full Self-Driving (Supervised) that ignores speed limits amid several regulatory investigations into Tesla’s system being dangerous.
more…
electrek.co
October 16, 2025 at 7:40 PM
my #1 issue for 2026, ahead of everything else including guaranteeing my own rights and safety, is bringing back the stockades for That Fuckin Guy specifically
Reposted by Tom Swartz
In the first 100 days I will dig down into the place of honor. On day one I will issue an Executive Order that the radical woke warning signs be removed and anyone perpetuating the "dangerous and repulsive" lie to be terminated. I will restore the country by touching the ancient treasures.
January 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
In the first 100 days I will dig down into the place of honor. On day one I will issue an Executive Order that the radical woke warning signs be removed and anyone perpetuating the "dangerous and repulsive" lie to be terminated. I will restore the country by touching the ancient treasures.
Reposted by Tom Swartz
American brands: We paid an AI slop company to make a chat bot that won’t load
French brand: We hired the best living comic artist to make an original short film with a top director and Production IG
French brand: We hired the best living comic artist to make an original short film with a top director and Production IG
"La Panthère de Cartier", a 7-minute short film by Yasuhiro Aoki, Naoki Urasawa & Production IG for the opening of a new Cartier shop in Ginza (Tokyo).
Only available on LINE app.
miniapp.line.me/cartier/anime
Only available on LINE app.
miniapp.line.me/cartier/anime
September 18, 2025 at 4:35 PM
American brands: We paid an AI slop company to make a chat bot that won’t load
French brand: We hired the best living comic artist to make an original short film with a top director and Production IG
French brand: We hired the best living comic artist to make an original short film with a top director and Production IG