@warmsituations.bsky.social
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It must have been wonderful to jack off in the English countryside back in the day. Gabled gates and flower gardens, cobbled stone walls. No microplastics. None of that noisy Reggaeton from the street below. Window open. Just pounding away.
January 18, 2026 at 12:36 PM
It must have been wonderful to jack off in the English countryside back in the day. Gabled gates and flower gardens, cobbled stone walls. No microplastics. None of that noisy Reggaeton from the street below. Window open. Just pounding away.
wwhy shrek is piss.
January 13, 2026 at 8:07 PM
wwhy shrek is piss.
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i don't want a lot for christmas
cuz i am a centipede
blending in with carpet patterns
scooting on my many feet
cuz i am a centipede
blending in with carpet patterns
scooting on my many feet
December 23, 2023 at 5:19 PM
i don't want a lot for christmas
cuz i am a centipede
blending in with carpet patterns
scooting on my many feet
cuz i am a centipede
blending in with carpet patterns
scooting on my many feet
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only reason people like a ladybug is it's got that huge mrs incredibles ass in tow
December 19, 2025 at 9:23 PM
only reason people like a ladybug is it's got that huge mrs incredibles ass in tow
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As my family gather and talk and eat and catch up and share quality time together, I am thankful to be 100% in my own head on the 13th hour straight of imagining yoda's eyes widening as the car bumper rushes towards him without slowing.
November 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
As my family gather and talk and eat and catch up and share quality time together, I am thankful to be 100% in my own head on the 13th hour straight of imagining yoda's eyes widening as the car bumper rushes towards him without slowing.
MY BALLS ARE NORMAL
November 21, 2025 at 8:14 PM
MY BALLS ARE NORMAL
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Whose woods these are I think I know.
He's Mario's evil cousin though.
He's Mario's evil cousin though.
November 9, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Whose woods these are I think I know.
He's Mario's evil cousin though.
He's Mario's evil cousin though.
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I bet English people call their father something CRAZY. probably Mister Parent
October 30, 2025 at 8:16 AM
I bet English people call their father something CRAZY. probably Mister Parent
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the h in ghost is actually a little ghost waving to you
July 13, 2023 at 6:02 PM
the h in ghost is actually a little ghost waving to you
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Just found out about object permanence. This is gonna save me a TON of money
October 24, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Just found out about object permanence. This is gonna save me a TON of money
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squirrel: hey can i get that acorn in your yard
dog: no can do amigo
squirrel: why
dog: i don’t know but i need you to understand that i have a massive problem with it
dog: no can do amigo
squirrel: why
dog: i don’t know but i need you to understand that i have a massive problem with it
September 25, 2024 at 8:25 PM
squirrel: hey can i get that acorn in your yard
dog: no can do amigo
squirrel: why
dog: i don’t know but i need you to understand that i have a massive problem with it
dog: no can do amigo
squirrel: why
dog: i don’t know but i need you to understand that i have a massive problem with it
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We taught our raccoons sign language and the first thing they said was "The trouble is, you think you have time.”
September 26, 2025 at 2:02 PM
We taught our raccoons sign language and the first thing they said was "The trouble is, you think you have time.”
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I'M GOING TO THROW UYP
September 26, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I'M GOING TO THROW UYP
if you don't get to play Bach keyboard pieces drunk you are missing out on something important. the glimpse of the divine amidst the slime of the temporal. oh, you reveal to me the face of God? you mean perhaps His Ass??
September 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
if you don't get to play Bach keyboard pieces drunk you are missing out on something important. the glimpse of the divine amidst the slime of the temporal. oh, you reveal to me the face of God? you mean perhaps His Ass??
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Monday: The Workman's Curse
Tuesday: The Day of Bastards
Wednesday: Heavy is the Burden of Sisyphus
Thursday: The Second Day of Bastards
Friday: Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Saturday: Me Old Ham, My Good Time Charlie
Sunday: Fairweather Friend
Tuesday: The Day of Bastards
Wednesday: Heavy is the Burden of Sisyphus
Thursday: The Second Day of Bastards
Friday: Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Saturday: Me Old Ham, My Good Time Charlie
Sunday: Fairweather Friend
January 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Monday: The Workman's Curse
Tuesday: The Day of Bastards
Wednesday: Heavy is the Burden of Sisyphus
Thursday: The Second Day of Bastards
Friday: Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Saturday: Me Old Ham, My Good Time Charlie
Sunday: Fairweather Friend
Tuesday: The Day of Bastards
Wednesday: Heavy is the Burden of Sisyphus
Thursday: The Second Day of Bastards
Friday: Business in the Front, Party in the Back
Saturday: Me Old Ham, My Good Time Charlie
Sunday: Fairweather Friend
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log on for free telehealth online eye exam today! :) we will not zoom deep into the eyes. we will not map your unique capillaries. we will not estimate thickness OR moistness of your retina. we will not do metadata re: your eyes. we will not sell location of your eyes to dark web.
September 2, 2023 at 10:07 AM
log on for free telehealth online eye exam today! :) we will not zoom deep into the eyes. we will not map your unique capillaries. we will not estimate thickness OR moistness of your retina. we will not do metadata re: your eyes. we will not sell location of your eyes to dark web.
wanna take Mare Pete on a date to the ZOO :)
August 17, 2025 at 8:58 PM
wanna take Mare Pete on a date to the ZOO :)
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this will be gibberish to you unless you see with the money eye
April 23, 2024 at 10:25 AM
this will be gibberish to you unless you see with the money eye
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you never see a commercial for onions. everyone just kinda knows about them
July 23, 2023 at 6:14 PM
you never see a commercial for onions. everyone just kinda knows about them
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our hollow earth is inhabited by a race of beautiful slut geniuses
November 10, 2024 at 10:36 PM
our hollow earth is inhabited by a race of beautiful slut geniuses
read of number so large and now am scared about it ??
June 10, 2025 at 4:15 AM
read of number so large and now am scared about it ??
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The bullfrog in a tweed suit whose land I live on, came by to tell me they were busy planting this year's carrots. He proudly told me he still employs two gardeners, as his father did, though "only one maid." He then observed the rising spring sun and said "it's all diminishing."
November 24, 2023 at 5:52 AM
The bullfrog in a tweed suit whose land I live on, came by to tell me they were busy planting this year's carrots. He proudly told me he still employs two gardeners, as his father did, though "only one maid." He then observed the rising spring sun and said "it's all diminishing."
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It’s the month before 9/11 and life is still simple. You’re with your friends, all dressed up in Corelli costumes, waiting in a long line for opening night of Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. Later you’ll hit Denny’s for a late night Grand Slam, then play Captain Corelli’s Mandolin 3 on PS2 till morning
May 29, 2025 at 2:00 AM
It’s the month before 9/11 and life is still simple. You’re with your friends, all dressed up in Corelli costumes, waiting in a long line for opening night of Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. Later you’ll hit Denny’s for a late night Grand Slam, then play Captain Corelli’s Mandolin 3 on PS2 till morning