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@xsfleabaggage.bsky.social

820 followers 220 following 1.8K posts

Industrial strength skeets, dilute to taste. Laughter is resistance. My posts 👇🏾 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5nbpbsgxzkstv4oavt5uzwdl/feed/aaaigjz7b3w6e

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · Dec 3

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I went to the park and apparently

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Reposted

chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 1d

The wood chipper gets gross so you should clean it after every use.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 14m

Bleach destroys dna.

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 23m

Ghost putting it’s hand through the wall to give me the middle finger.

1 3 3

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 12h

I kissed a bag and I liked it.
Taste of supermarket plastic.
I kissed a bag and I liked it.
Now gonna go recycle-it

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 15h

Got kicked outta the post office again for trying to use Moon Stamps as legal postage.

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 2d

You are making me horny

CNBC @cnbc.com · 3d

To shut down rude behavior instantly, try a simple yet powerful five-word response.

Use this 5-word phrase when someone is rude to you—it's like 'holding up a mirror,' says public speaking expert

When we encounter a rude person, our first instinct might be to fire back with a snarky comment. But that's not the right move, says public speaking expert John Bowe. Here's the perfect response to instantly shut down rude behavior.

cnb.cx

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KOJAMF🤘🖤🤘 @kojamf.bsky.social · 3d

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 2d

All the beauty and wonder of a flaming dumpster.

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 3d

I may not be able to help you connect to the wifi but I can adjust the tracking on yer VCR

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 5d

BREAKING: Comedians Compete For Bonesaw Signed By Jared Kushner at Riyadh Festival

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 3d

Trump is basically farting and holding America’s head under the blanket.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 3d

Stupid people have taken over.
You can’t reason with them cos they’re stupid.
They make stupid decisions, based on stupid “facts”, supplied by other stupid people.
It’s stupidity all the way down.
: )

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 3d

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

If there was an Olympic sport of making foam in the urinal, I would win, unless Derick wasn’t using his dialysis machine.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

Kinda funny though.
The loudest, most confident, blow hard nation.
Yeah, kinda funny.

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

Eating salt.
Olympic challenge.
Why not?
Pussy!

Reposted

orcus @goblin.news · 4d

suspicious of the unfamiliar garment

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 4d

Using the Scooby Doo model, scientists were able to run all the way to the edge of the universe by being chased over an unchanging background until they finally saw through the illusion and just tore the mask off of everything we know

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

I have become weightless.
Destroyer of now.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

My silver eyes do not blink for tears.

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Sentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 4d

Allow me to express my disappointment through sarcasm as God intended.

1 4

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

They started seating the plane based on a skin colour chart. Only half the people who boarded got off the other end.
“Criminals” they told us, not sure where gramma is.

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

The Bible?
Data scraped mush!

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

You know what was Epic?
The Gilgamesh saga

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 4d

Day drinking is the best.