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Julie Lavender Menace

@2tickytacky.bsky.social

9.5K followers 2.3K following 5.2K posts

🔵Co-pastor: Ravensmenace, LLC 🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County 🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time. I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️‍⚧️. she/her https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 3d

Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Oops! Somehow, Sister Julie got mysteriously locked in her bedroom with the door nailed shut.... Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor! Let's play pin the tail on the self righteous, domineering ass. God bless.

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 2d

I don't dance to seduce, I dance to scare people away

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 3h

-Are you dissapointed in me or is this your usual face?

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 5d

New game: Lie or nap. You're allowed either to tell a lie or take a nap

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 32m

The picture I saw in the picture doesn't look like the picture I ordered. You bet I complained! They told me the picture I have is indeed the picture in the picture. Words were exchanged, most of them were the word "picture". Then they told me I'm seeing things. I said duh, that how seeing works.

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · Aug 30

I don’t usually reach out like this, but please keep this very upset 6-year-old girl in your prayers. She’s in the surgery waiting room and her brother won’t stop copying her.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d

I hope your dog lives long enough to grow grizzled and cranky and wise. And if not, let them at least teach you how to live in the absolute moment 🐾

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · Jun 22

Much like the current administration, I have no idea what I’m going to fuck up today.

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 1d

feature request:
*"are you out of your mind?" autoreply to reply guys*

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 1d

(my first day on the job as a safety officer at the white house)

can anyone else smell fire and brimstone?

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 22h

someone should invent a cat that can take her own selfies

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · Sep 8

All of my favorite foods and activities are carcinogenic. I’m like 70% carcinogen rn

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 22d

Thinkin bout napalming the yard outside my window to shut this fucking cricket up 🦗

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 1d

Why me, god?

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 15h

I guess I did. I didn't look at it that. I just don't like getting the silent treatment from something that could quit and leave me abandoned in the middle of nowhere.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 17h

We just keep letting Jared Leto happen for some reason.

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 5d

I don't know how much stock to put into these bubbling predictions of Bluesky's demise, but I did notice a couple of new starter packs created this weekend that didn't include me, so there ARE some signs

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 1d

Why can't I just have a normal mid-life crisis like my gramps and buy an expensive convertible sports car and skip town with the secretary instead of this full-blown existential crisis watching civilization crumble bullshit

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 29d

Maybe some folks took the sentiment "the more I learn, the less I know" to heart and quit while they were ahead

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 1d

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 1d

That's that voice I heard. Ugh. I wish it sounded like a cute girl. Lee was sure pulling out all the stops back then. 1984 was when his minivans came out.

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 1d

I had a Dodge 600 that talked. It started getting annoying after the novelty wore off.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 3d

Let’s meet at the sand-pit. We’ll listen to REO Speedwagon unironically and drink Boone’s Farm until we see balloons

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d

His beard was like a temper tantrum. Her breath was better than her playlist. They made love in the Kohl’s parking lot.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d

If I really like you I’ll let you feel the dent in my head

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 7d

Since no one does it anymore, I just sexually harass myself.

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