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ccruns.bsky.social
CC
@ccruns.bsky.social
3.9K followers 1.4K following 1.2K posts
I once was a sea nymph and now I’m a sunflower. My jokes are beloved by the Today Show, Huffington Post, Apple News, Buzzfeed. I’m from a good Circus family. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wpyca6mmzjnntg7zdb7dd6nw/feed/aaab6u6hleppa
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · Nov 16
Hello good boy! Are you my baby boy?

-Me, to my dog, who is not good, nor is he a baby, every single day
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 6d
If you like the taste of grass 😆
1
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
How about The Lost Apothecary?
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
Here try this milky green substance that tastes like toasted dirt!
2 1
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
Matcha Lattes are the Diet Cokes of the soda world, the beers of the alcohol world. The first sip is disgusting. Then you go back for more and suddenly you’re addicted to phenylalanine and or smashed.
1 1 9
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
No that is too clever stop
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
It does seem to be mathing.
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
That’s double triple reverse dog math!
1
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 7d
TYSM!!
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 8d
Yes!!
ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 9d
Is dog math a thing? Because mine weighs 20 lbs except when he’s on top the sheets in the middle of the bed and then he weighs at least 125.
5 7 31
Reposted by CC
brooklynmarie.bsky.social
Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 9d
Every day I promise myself I'm not going to be unpleasant to strangers and every day I break that promise within two minutes of getting into my car
19 3 230
Reposted by CC
wilboo72.bsky.social
Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 9d
People just don’t get crazy with the Cheese Wiz like they used to
5 25 57
Reposted by CC
chalza.bsky.social
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 9d
The Werther's Original candies factory must be burning because Werther's smoke, there's fire.
1 7 21
Reposted by CC
kattsdogma.bsky.social
kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 9d
a porn flick called “The Czech’s in the Male” somebody write that down
8 29 160
Reposted by CC
woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social
Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 9d
Keep checking to see if the Constitution ends up on eBay
7 48 190
Reposted by CC
tierno158.bsky.social
SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 9d
Imitation may be the highest form of flattery but telling you you're a good lay is pretty darn close.
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 9d
It did!
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 9d
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
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Reposted by CC
notowenmeany.bsky.social
Not Owen Meany @notowenmeany.bsky.social · Feb 6
*artillery rains down around our trench*
"Smoke 'em if you got 'em," Sarge growls.
"Finally," I exclaim, arranging my cedar chips under a perforated tray of mussels.
2 44 140
Reposted by CC
qwertying.bsky.social
Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 9d
They say a wandering eye is a bad thing in a relationship. I disagree. It’s how I spotted the last chicken wing on the platter before my brother-in-law did.
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ccruns.bsky.social
CC @ccruns.bsky.social · 14d
This book just took a crazy turn and my Zoloft isn’t working
2 5 35
Reposted by CC
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 14d
people just don’t daydream and fall asleep beneath the flowers for a couple of hours like they used to
1 19 61
Reposted by CC
deeks549.bsky.social
Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 14d
People who remember life before the internet are my kind of people
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