Flat Pumpkin Society
@adhdgobl.in
Clinical research, baseball (LFG Mariners), and booze nerd living in Philly. My views are not my own. They are yours. You have my views now. Sorry. (he/him)
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
In case Bsky becomes too much of a ban-happy dump: https://jorts.horse/@flatplutosociety
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
November 25, 2025 at 2:46 AM
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
This is an incredible (and completely accurate) sentence.
Wegmans stores with a Xerox document center and Kodak photo department in the 90's were like a Rochester megazord
November 24, 2025 at 12:56 AM
This is an incredible (and completely accurate) sentence.
I'm putting it in my will that I will be given a 21-gun salute with hot dog cannons at my funeral.
Just once in my life, I would like to operate a t-shirt cannon while under the influence
November 23, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I'm putting it in my will that I will be given a 21-gun salute with hot dog cannons at my funeral.
I am an Eagles fan now.
November 23, 2025 at 3:45 PM
I am an Eagles fan now.
They never tell you that the dishes are made of stardust, too.
I'm made of stardust, but I still have to do chores.
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
They never tell you that the dishes are made of stardust, too.
My Babylon 5 rewatch and my The Black Tapes relisten both hit the episode titled "Shadow Dancing" today.
This means something, probably.
This means something, probably.
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
My Babylon 5 rewatch and my The Black Tapes relisten both hit the episode titled "Shadow Dancing" today.
This means something, probably.
This means something, probably.
This goober is guilting me into laying down with her instead of working.
November 21, 2025 at 4:05 PM
This goober is guilting me into laying down with her instead of working.
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
Nvidia misses its earnings goals? Stock market crash. Nvidia meets its earnings goals? Stock market crash. Nvidia exceeds its earnings goals? Believe it or not, stock market crash.
November 20, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Nvidia misses its earnings goals? Stock market crash. Nvidia meets its earnings goals? Stock market crash. Nvidia exceeds its earnings goals? Believe it or not, stock market crash.
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
I've been warning you about the dangers of estrogen-wielding Pastafarians and you all ignored me.
Deciding "my wife (in Borat voice)" is a fine thing to say tells me that y'all have been estrogenated by your Pastafarian boyfriends and it SHOWS.
November 20, 2025 at 1:55 AM
I've been warning you about the dangers of estrogen-wielding Pastafarians and you all ignored me.
Problematic age rap
November 20, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Problematic age rap
Sending Razzball to the Hague for this post, but if I had to see it, the rest of you do too.
Keith Olbermann will be dating marjorie taylor greene by the end of the year, 6 to 1 now on Polymarket
November 19, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Sending Razzball to the Hague for this post, but if I had to see it, the rest of you do too.
Reposted by Flat Pumpkin Society
It's Mariners baseball, but shhhh or everyone will want it.
November 17, 2025 at 8:10 PM
It's Mariners baseball, but shhhh or everyone will want it.
Everyone needs to know that @brittneybush.bsky.social is 100% responsible for Naylor's extension.
bsky.app/profile/brit...
bsky.app/profile/brit...
I add a new hockey logo to Josh Naylor’s jersey every day until the Mariners re-sign him
Day 25: Atlanta Thrashers
Day 25: Atlanta Thrashers
November 17, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Everyone needs to know that @brittneybush.bsky.social is 100% responsible for Naylor's extension.
bsky.app/profile/brit...
bsky.app/profile/brit...
@mariners.com ARE EXTENDING JOSH NAYLOR LET'S FUCKIN' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
November 17, 2025 at 1:16 AM
@mariners.com ARE EXTENDING JOSH NAYLOR LET'S FUCKIN' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Chani would like me to know that she is a very good girl and she can be trusted around four pounds of slow cooked pork.
November 15, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Chani would like me to know that she is a very good girl and she can be trusted around four pounds of slow cooked pork.
I don't know how I made it this far in life before it occurred to me to make a filter to auto archive every email with "Black Friday" in the subject.
November 14, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I don't know how I made it this far in life before it occurred to me to make a filter to auto archive every email with "Black Friday" in the subject.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
November 14, 2025 at 1:02 AM
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You're at shitposting.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
You're at Method Acting
I need you at Taking Meth
I need you at Taking Meth
You’re at fries.
I need you at garlic truffle pommes frites.
I need you at garlic truffle pommes frites.
November 11, 2025 at 9:12 PM
You're at shitposting.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
I need you at absolutely unhinged triple-digit post crashout.
Artist's recreation
November 11, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Artist's recreation
Double-0 Godzilla
m3gan: agent 007
November 11, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Double-0 Godzilla
"Something good" is raking in a boatload of Act Blue cash.
no matter what the circumstances, democrats are always saving their energy for a mythical future situation where they will do something good
November 10, 2025 at 5:24 AM
"Something good" is raking in a boatload of Act Blue cash.