who else up yearning for opening day
February 9, 2026 at 5:48 AM
who else up yearning for opening day
Reposted by you can call me al
It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."
February 9, 2026 at 3:15 AM
It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."
Reposted by you can call me al
the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
MY KIDS: so why are there muppets in the AUDIENCE
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
February 8, 2026 at 6:22 AM
the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
Reposted by you can call me al
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) — Punxsutawney Phil is said to have seen his shadow, predicting 6 more weeks of winter weather.
February 2, 2026 at 1:00 PM
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) — Punxsutawney Phil is said to have seen his shadow, predicting 6 more weeks of winter weather.
the situationship didnt come over tonight bc of the ice/snow everywhere so i am doomscrolling rather than getting my back blown out. not ideal!
February 2, 2026 at 5:57 AM
the situationship didnt come over tonight bc of the ice/snow everywhere so i am doomscrolling rather than getting my back blown out. not ideal!
Reposted by you can call me al
Space Marine (watching me play Animal Crossing): Your island is infested with foul mutants.
Me: They aren't mutants, that's just what animals look like in this game.
Space Marine: I see. (Biskit asks me to give him a new catchphrase) Teach it to praise the Name of the Emperor.
Me: They aren't mutants, that's just what animals look like in this game.
Space Marine: I see. (Biskit asks me to give him a new catchphrase) Teach it to praise the Name of the Emperor.
August 29, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Space Marine (watching me play Animal Crossing): Your island is infested with foul mutants.
Me: They aren't mutants, that's just what animals look like in this game.
Space Marine: I see. (Biskit asks me to give him a new catchphrase) Teach it to praise the Name of the Emperor.
Me: They aren't mutants, that's just what animals look like in this game.
Space Marine: I see. (Biskit asks me to give him a new catchphrase) Teach it to praise the Name of the Emperor.
Reposted by you can call me al
i made a version of wikipedia you can doomscroll
xikipedia.org
xikipedia.org
February 1, 2026 at 11:43 PM
i made a version of wikipedia you can doomscroll
xikipedia.org
xikipedia.org
Reposted by you can call me al
I thought for sure this was an old quote. He said this statement this morning.
February 2, 2026 at 12:25 AM
I thought for sure this was an old quote. He said this statement this morning.
Reposted by you can call me al
Really brings home the fact that the delay in producing files was absolutely part of an effort to protect Trump versus the DOJ's oft-touted explanation that they were ensuring protection for victims.
“The Justice Department published dozens of unredacted nude images on its website, showing young women or possibly teenagers whose photos were contained in files related to the wealthy sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.”
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/01/u...
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/01/u...
The Government Published Dozens of Nude Photos in the Epstein Files
www.nytimes.com
February 2, 2026 at 3:11 AM
Really brings home the fact that the delay in producing files was absolutely part of an effort to protect Trump versus the DOJ's oft-touted explanation that they were ensuring protection for victims.
Reposted by you can call me al
there’s no way we get through a Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny and Green Day without a total crashout from the president
Bad Bunny: Before I say thanks to God, I'm going to say, ICE out. We're not savages, we're not animals, we're not aliens. We are humans, and we are Americans.
February 2, 2026 at 3:15 AM
there’s no way we get through a Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny and Green Day without a total crashout from the president
Reposted by you can call me al
Bad Bunny's reaction to Album of the Year
February 2, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Bad Bunny's reaction to Album of the Year
i meant to watch bridgerton this weekend and i just watched heated rivalry AGAIN [ive seen it so many times i do not want help]
February 2, 2026 at 5:43 AM
i meant to watch bridgerton this weekend and i just watched heated rivalry AGAIN [ive seen it so many times i do not want help]
Reposted by you can call me al
Baltimore represent!
Turnstile win their first Grammy as 'Never Enough' is named Best Rock Album stereogum.com/2487089/gram...
February 1, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Baltimore represent!
Reposted by you can call me al
if you’re tear gassing little kids you lose your job, you get arrested, tried, and jailed
simply no other option in a civilized society, these goons must face consequences
simply no other option in a civilized society, these goons must face consequences
February 1, 2026 at 3:17 AM
if you’re tear gassing little kids you lose your job, you get arrested, tried, and jailed
simply no other option in a civilized society, these goons must face consequences
simply no other option in a civilized society, these goons must face consequences
Reposted by you can call me al
I really enjoy thinking about how shitty these people's lives have been for the last several months, waiting for the day when their emails drop
BREAKING NEWS: Convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein connected New York Giants chairman and co-owner Steve Tisch with multiple women, according to newly released emails.
January 31, 2026 at 4:59 AM
I really enjoy thinking about how shitty these people's lives have been for the last several months, waiting for the day when their emails drop
Reposted by you can call me al
Every day, the libs find something new to be mad at instead of being mad at the “opposition” party that is sitting on its hands during a fascist takeover.
Love how former Reporter Against Disinformation Ben Collins has essentially turned The Onion into his own personal cog in the anti-Democratic Party disinformation complex.
January 30, 2026 at 10:56 AM
Every day, the libs find something new to be mad at instead of being mad at the “opposition” party that is sitting on its hands during a fascist takeover.
Reposted by you can call me al
A Minnesota woman observing ICE agents in her car was cornered on one-way streets. An agent approached, called her by name—citing facial recognition. Days later, her Global Entry and TSA privileges were revoked, with no explanation.
How ICE Already Knows Who Minneapolis Protesters Are
www.nytimes.com
January 30, 2026 at 11:55 AM
A Minnesota woman observing ICE agents in her car was cornered on one-way streets. An agent approached, called her by name—citing facial recognition. Days later, her Global Entry and TSA privileges were revoked, with no explanation.
Reposted by you can call me al
Personally I think this is too much money for Donald trumps untrained heavily armed militia
January 29, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Personally I think this is too much money for Donald trumps untrained heavily armed militia
Reposted by you can call me al
I think you should love where you live and do everything you can to make it better so that other people love it that much too.
January 29, 2026 at 3:09 AM
I think you should love where you live and do everything you can to make it better so that other people love it that much too.
Reposted by you can call me al
again, if you are hearing about an empathetic, soulful, new-tone trump pivot calming things down in Minnesota, the people who are telling you this are trying to trap your mind inside a false, alternate reality. please consider why exactly they are doing this.
Trump just reposted a tweet calling Alex Pretti a "domestic terrorist"
January 29, 2026 at 3:46 AM
again, if you are hearing about an empathetic, soulful, new-tone trump pivot calming things down in Minnesota, the people who are telling you this are trying to trap your mind inside a false, alternate reality. please consider why exactly they are doing this.
Reposted by you can call me al
Not just any journalist, she won the goddamn Triple Crown of broadcast journalism (an Emmy, a Peabody, and a Murrow) in 2024 for her reporting on Gaza.
This is textbook censorship of the highest degree
This is textbook censorship of the highest degree
Palestinian journalist Bisan Owda with 1.4m followers reports TikTok ban https://aje.news/ljjuww
January 29, 2026 at 4:33 AM
Not just any journalist, she won the goddamn Triple Crown of broadcast journalism (an Emmy, a Peabody, and a Murrow) in 2024 for her reporting on Gaza.
This is textbook censorship of the highest degree
This is textbook censorship of the highest degree
Reposted by you can call me al
Since we published this, Pam Bondi's X account has started posting mugshots of Minnesotans arrested for impeding ICE/CBP. Sharing a defendant's photo publicly in this way is forbidden under DOJ rules
ICE and CBP are at the head of Trump's campaign to terrorize Minnesotans. But the Justice Department is not far behind.
ICE’s No. 1 Ally
The Department of Justice has rushed to shield federal agents from accountability and launched needless criminal investigations into Minnesota officials and residents.
www.theatlantic.com
January 28, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Since we published this, Pam Bondi's X account has started posting mugshots of Minnesotans arrested for impeding ICE/CBP. Sharing a defendant's photo publicly in this way is forbidden under DOJ rules
Reposted by you can call me al
If you don’t want to be identified while enforcing the law pick another fucking job
Tillis says he opposes ICE being barred from wearing masks: "I've seen people dox me. I've seen people take pictures and identify law enforcement officers and then put their families at risk. So, I think that's a step too far."
January 28, 2026 at 10:36 PM
If you don’t want to be identified while enforcing the law pick another fucking job
Reposted by you can call me al
The GOP is in fact the party of divorced middle aged men whose blue haired daughters hate them
i love that rightwingers genuinely seem to believe that political ideology is a set genetic inheritable trait
January 28, 2026 at 10:50 PM
The GOP is in fact the party of divorced middle aged men whose blue haired daughters hate them