out of chicken stock and im already halfway thru cooking this is my 13th reason

right! like ok man if thats how you feel then bye!

anyway we're going on a second date lol stay tuned

im not gonna say "im just joking" when you say you dont like the arrogance of calling myself cute lmao im not joking bud

went on a first date & said something about how im bad at something "but at least im cute" & he was like "oh yeah u think so??"
"yes"
& he fake gets up, says "oh man idk if I like the arrogance" & I just said ok! & he didn't know what to do
like u called me cute 20 min ago, but I cant believe it?

I laughed out loud. absolutely cursed nightmare blunt rotation

LETS GOOOOOOOOO

C'mon just grow all the spices here. Put 'em right next to the new banana farms and across from the coffee farms.

It's difficult at times to hold both "this admin is doing lasting and serious damage to our institutions and the globe" and "this admin is full of the most bafflingly incompetent idiots you've ever seen who fall over themselves like a Vaudeville act constantly."

The duality of man is incredible.

ive always described people's actions as some combination of the two, yknow, like 40% malice and 60% incompetence but theyre really exhibiting 100% of both and i didn't even know that was possible

answered a text from my mom at midnight and she replied this morning asking if I had woken up in the middle of the night bc I was sick which is cute because actually I had just come home from staying out drinking too late

met a new group of DC girlies today & one of them was like "I like your -looks at rings- & also -looks at tall boots- & also -gestures at neckline/necklace/earrings- just like vibe in general"

and im like girl thank u I try real hard and everyone laughed but like. i do try. im glad it works lmao

WSJ please read the room on here

I cannot believe some snarky online economist hasn't made a smol bean joke about the soybean farmers needing a bailout

a cheddar dog wrapped in a paratha with relish/pickles

I have four meetings today this should be illegal

My “we are not weighing a critical metals equity stake” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt (and my multiple critical minerals stakes)

the american soybean association's newsletter is called "the eBean" and if that ain't cute af

its kinda wild that jesus christ was like "love thy neighbor" and christians in america were like "no❤️"

hey sorry so israel kidnapped greta thunberg and thats just fine? cool

"I want to be a real researcher" im so dumb man

been dicking around at work a little too much and have a friday deadline so on this sunday im getting breakfast then going into the office to catch up and having mad grad school flashbacks. I really just worked every day for two years straight. sheesh