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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 6h

“I love your eyes”

“Ok” *puts olives in eyes*

Reposted by Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺

Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 1d

Therapist: Maybe it’s time to ask yourself, are you helping because they need help or because you need to feel helpful?

Hamburger Helper: *bursts into tears*

Therapist: *handing over the box of tissues* I think we just had a breakthrough.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 1d

Owning a fancy, expensive Italian hairdryer whilst sporting a buzzcut may seem pointless until you see my luxuriously styled pubes.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 1d

And the medal for not taking a single sick day goes to…nobody! Because that is not a thing! There is no medal for not taking a sick day when you need one! Take your fucking sick days!

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 1d

Therapist: Maybe it’s time to ask yourself, are you helping because they need help or because you need to feel helpful?

Hamburger Helper: *bursts into tears*

Therapist: *handing over the box of tissues* I think we just had a breakthrough.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 2d

I got to eat punkin pie at work today because I work with Canadians. Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!🇨🇦

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 3d

I bet hemorrhoids are like a bouncy castle to a pinworm.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 6d

Especially if they fetishize tall men. Tall men are great and all, but yeah, they’re like larger dog breeds: riddled with heart problems and arthritis at a relatively young age.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 6d

This is an important PSA for people in their 20’s and 30’s who enjoy fucking men.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 6d

I have renewed interest in short kings. Tall guys have an expiration date: When the back and knee problems inevitably hit, they can’t fuck anymore.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 9d

Update: Nobody has sent me a dick pic yet. Am slightly disappointed. But I have decided if I get one I will do a quick life drawing sketch of it and send it back.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 10d

I posted on a singles meetup board and I’m not sure but I think it’s a good sign that i got a “I’m not what you’re looking for but wow, your post was really well written!”

Tempted to reply with “show me your dingaling” because I’m a pile of garbage

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 10d

Should I do a tier list of the D&D Monster manual based on how likely they’d be to call me after licking my butthole?

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 10d

If I saw this guy, my panties would explode on sight.

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Reposted by Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺

ghost crab @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 10d

what kind of pants do ghosts wear?

just a paranormal trousers

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 11d

Got a tattoo of a spoon so nobody sticks me in the microwave.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 11d

Low key love this movie. It came up in one of those “underappreciated 90’s movies that should not have flopped” videos and I was pleasantly reminded of it.

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Reposted by Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺

ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 12d

If I was sweatpants, I wonder what word would be written across my butt 🤔

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 11d

Mayonnaise is just sandwich lube.

Case @caseymarlowe.bsky.social · 25d

Lotion is just skin mayonnaise.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 12d

What if she also knows all the words to the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen anthem?

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 12d

WHERE’S MY CAKE, BEDELIA?? YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF VULTURES!

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 12d

Feeling nostalgic for 2005 when random cute dudes from parties would take me for rides in their convertibles and suck on my toes. When I was getting fucked more and democracy was getting fucked slightly less.

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 12d

I saw an old interview with Tom Savini where he said the skeleton puppet at the beginning of Creepshow is made from a real human skeleton he bought from a medical supply company because it was cheaper than making a fake one. Also, me whenever I don’t get cake on my birthday:

A gif from Father’s Day, Bedelia gets her neck adjusted by her undead father saying “I want my cake”

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 13d

Suuuuuuuure

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Pout Mask Replica 🇦🇺 @cicerofgrey.bsky.social · 14d

Goddammit I came here to make that joke. Beat me to it.

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