CMj
@cmjohnson.bsky.social
Full Time grocery store service clerk. Part Time dreamer. Tall, but not dark or particularly handsome. Drinks Diet Dr. Pepper.
Why waste your time asking people what they want to eat if you just make whatever anyways?
January 19, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Why waste your time asking people what they want to eat if you just make whatever anyways?
Captain Picard: Tea.
Captains Sisko and Janeway: Coffee.
Captain CMj: replaces the Worf's workstation with a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine
Captains Sisko and Janeway: Coffee.
Captain CMj: replaces the Worf's workstation with a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine
January 18, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Captain Picard: Tea.
Captains Sisko and Janeway: Coffee.
Captain CMj: replaces the Worf's workstation with a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine
Captains Sisko and Janeway: Coffee.
Captain CMj: replaces the Worf's workstation with a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine
Reposted by CMj
The GOP can stop Trump any time they want.
But first they have to want to.
But first they have to want to.
January 17, 2026 at 4:57 PM
The GOP can stop Trump any time they want.
But first they have to want to.
But first they have to want to.
Listening to @crobertcargill.bsky.social make a joke about Ash from Pokémon, and I pictured Bruce Campbell, and what's really embarrassing is how I've never made that connection before...
January 17, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Listening to @crobertcargill.bsky.social make a joke about Ash from Pokémon, and I pictured Bruce Campbell, and what's really embarrassing is how I've never made that connection before...
Reposted by CMj
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Getting a lot of Italian women with big breasts over on the other site poping up.
January 6, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Getting a lot of Italian women with big breasts over on the other site poping up.
Reposted by CMj
Reposted by CMj
Pro digital artist tip: make things easier and more organised for yourself by naming your layers!
January 5, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Pro digital artist tip: make things easier and more organised for yourself by naming your layers!
'Poseidon hears you and grants you a boon'
You wake up tomorrow with a bunch of horses in your back yard.
Because the Greek Gods where just the worst
You wake up tomorrow with a bunch of horses in your back yard.
Because the Greek Gods where just the worst
December 31, 2025 at 5:29 PM
'Poseidon hears you and grants you a boon'
You wake up tomorrow with a bunch of horses in your back yard.
Because the Greek Gods where just the worst
You wake up tomorrow with a bunch of horses in your back yard.
Because the Greek Gods where just the worst
Reposted by CMj
My load bearing Tweet has always been the Harriet Family Matters one but I've never seen this one before and it's in competition for the top spot
December 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
My load bearing Tweet has always been the Harriet Family Matters one but I've never seen this one before and it's in competition for the top spot
Reposted by CMj
There’s how old you think you are, and there’s how old shoveling six inches of snow tells you that you are.
December 27, 2025 at 9:40 PM
There’s how old you think you are, and there’s how old shoveling six inches of snow tells you that you are.
Reposted by CMj
Not Quebec checking in
December 27, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Not Quebec checking in
About to start Christmas Dinner at 7 pm and stepfather wants to play Monopoly after...
I have work in the morning!!
I have work in the morning!!
December 25, 2025 at 11:40 PM
About to start Christmas Dinner at 7 pm and stepfather wants to play Monopoly after...
I have work in the morning!!
I have work in the morning!!
It's wild giving my mom a lotto scratch ticket for her stocking, because she has me scratch it off for her.
(She won $10)
(She won $10)
December 25, 2025 at 10:33 PM
It's wild giving my mom a lotto scratch ticket for her stocking, because she has me scratch it off for her.
(She won $10)
(She won $10)
Reposted by CMj
The reason Batman Christmas specials are the best is because in every one Batman is just openly frowning at Christmas lights and Santa hats. Then a themed villain tries to kill him in an admittedly funny way.
December 25, 2025 at 4:11 PM
The reason Batman Christmas specials are the best is because in every one Batman is just openly frowning at Christmas lights and Santa hats. Then a themed villain tries to kill him in an admittedly funny way.
And they say Print is Dead
I would rather walk in on my parents watching porno than catch them reading this
December 20, 2025 at 12:19 AM
And they say Print is Dead
Reposted by CMj
Tax these churches immediately.
Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas...$70 per ticket.
December 20, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Tax these churches immediately.
Should I make a whole chainmail jester look??
YouTube video by Megan Ciafre
youtube.com
December 19, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Reposted by CMj
Buddy, this could be about a lot of shit.
December 11, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Buddy, this could be about a lot of shit.
Reposted by CMj
A little preliminary sketch for this year's Christmas card
December 8, 2025 at 5:57 AM
A little preliminary sketch for this year's Christmas card
Imagine seeing The Godfather III and Black Phone II in the same theater, in the same week
December 7, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Imagine seeing The Godfather III and Black Phone II in the same theater, in the same week
Reposted by CMj
people like Sabrina Carpenter saying essentially "decent people don't want the stench of ICE or this White House anywhere near them" to an audience of millions that includes a lot of young people helps empower them against ICE while reminding ICE agents that everyone hates them, both big wins
look deleting the post is obviously stopping the actual ICE raids but every single bit of pushback matters bsky.app/profile/airb...
Sabrina Carpenter made the White House delete their fuck ass tweet.
December 5, 2025 at 9:14 PM
people like Sabrina Carpenter saying essentially "decent people don't want the stench of ICE or this White House anywhere near them" to an audience of millions that includes a lot of young people helps empower them against ICE while reminding ICE agents that everyone hates them, both big wins