Matt
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coolnessinc.bsky.social
Matt
@coolnessinc.bsky.social
He/Him. I live in Indiana, but not like that. I like books and coffee. I’m a cat person, but I’ll still pet your dog.

Don’t look: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:modcracogimat5hfyc325zsg/feed/aaanunf43yybk
Pinned
People who pack just enough underwear for a trip are psychopaths.

Imagine thinking everything will go perfectly. Wild.
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*Game of Thrones Theme Song plays on a kazoo*

You’re standing on a beach in moody lighting, with a sword, surrounded by dead bodies. You say your family motto to no one in particular. What is it?

“What was eaten will eventually be hoarked.”

(Naturally, cats are on the Coat of Arms of my house. 🧐)
February 11, 2026 at 8:53 AM
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currently in bed playing a risky game of “which ones are just air”
February 3, 2026 at 10:07 AM
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If this big plate of mashed potatoes doesn’t do the trick, then I’m just going to bed.
January 24, 2026 at 11:01 PM
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[at my first rodeo]

It's good to get this one out of the way.
January 20, 2026 at 10:09 PM
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Do you take your coffee with or without the ignorant bliss?
January 18, 2026 at 12:42 PM
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Sometimes I feel like that weird potato chip flavour, that nobody really understands.
January 17, 2026 at 2:09 AM
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You have no idea what's going on and I like that
January 17, 2026 at 2:22 AM
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Not to brag but I’m basically a repairman (I watched half a TikTok tutorial)
January 17, 2026 at 2:24 AM
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I'm pretty nice but AI generated voices make me want to kill
January 16, 2026 at 3:00 PM
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Every privacy policy update:

We have found new ways to monetize your data !!
January 15, 2026 at 4:32 PM
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I accidentally got too good at secrets and started keeping them from myself
January 15, 2026 at 2:26 AM
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Equality isn't oppression
January 14, 2026 at 11:39 AM
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[waking up]: OH, COME ON NOW
January 13, 2026 at 10:54 AM
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I wish I could monetize my ability to project a fantasy onto a highly incompatible person
January 12, 2026 at 1:39 PM
All razzle, no dazzle
January 12, 2026 at 9:25 PM
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all bing, no bong
January 12, 2026 at 6:45 PM
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Radical fuckin idea but maybe we let ppl find enjoyment however they can because everything sucks
January 8, 2026 at 11:54 PM
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Funny how much dry january looks like house arrest in my friend group
January 8, 2026 at 3:14 PM
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I like to watch horror flicks with my cats so they know how safe and lucky they are to live with me
January 6, 2026 at 12:05 PM
It’s raining “remind me on Monday” notifications this morning.
January 5, 2026 at 1:25 PM
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Things could be worse [threatening]
January 4, 2026 at 10:45 PM
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I wish this weather would fucking stay still already.
January 4, 2026 at 11:41 PM
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a homemade cinnamon roll got me saying things like 'set phasers to yum'
January 4, 2026 at 2:42 PM
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New year. Same eternal void.
January 4, 2026 at 12:06 PM