The fake Michael Bertrand
@fruvous73.bsky.social
A very strange man who writes things. VFS alum (Writing for TV and Film program), thinker, philosopher, comedy writer, academically gifted, socially retarded, lover of long lists of adjectives, and the only rationalist materialist mystic poet in the world.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Me, eats one hamburger - I’m full
Also, me, eats 10 tacos – I’m still hungry
Also, me, eats 10 tacos – I’m still hungry
February 17, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Me, eats one hamburger - I’m full
Also, me, eats 10 tacos – I’m still hungry
Also, me, eats 10 tacos – I’m still hungry
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I'm not a huge Beatles fan but I have been revisiting some of their albums and one of the things that stands out the most to me is the mastering. They went all out with the use of stereo. There is a sense of space and separation that you just don't hear anymore in modern music.
February 17, 2026 at 11:21 PM
I'm not a huge Beatles fan but I have been revisiting some of their albums and one of the things that stands out the most to me is the mastering. They went all out with the use of stereo. There is a sense of space and separation that you just don't hear anymore in modern music.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
why does my cat bathe so loud 😭😭
(i can’t hear the tv istg)
(i can’t hear the tv istg)
February 17, 2026 at 3:13 AM
why does my cat bathe so loud 😭😭
(i can’t hear the tv istg)
(i can’t hear the tv istg)
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Getting all packed for a quick trip to LA… literally only taking a backpack of clothes and toiletries… it feels odd but good to be able to pack this light for a 4 day trip
February 17, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Getting all packed for a quick trip to LA… literally only taking a backpack of clothes and toiletries… it feels odd but good to be able to pack this light for a 4 day trip
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I spent my childhood inside of American concentration camps. I know one when I see one. And that is what ICE is building.
February 17, 2026 at 9:00 PM
I spent my childhood inside of American concentration camps. I know one when I see one. And that is what ICE is building.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
February 16, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
Let's gather reverse nostalgia. That is stuff you are GLAD is gone forever. I'll start.
Zoobilee Zoo. God damn that show was fucked.
The song "Muskrat Love". How the hell was it a hit?
Neon pastel everything. Fight me, other Gen X!
Everybody thinking they can rap.
#reversenostalgia
Zoobilee Zoo. God damn that show was fucked.
The song "Muskrat Love". How the hell was it a hit?
Neon pastel everything. Fight me, other Gen X!
Everybody thinking they can rap.
#reversenostalgia
February 17, 2026 at 5:58 AM
Let's gather reverse nostalgia. That is stuff you are GLAD is gone forever. I'll start.
Zoobilee Zoo. God damn that show was fucked.
The song "Muskrat Love". How the hell was it a hit?
Neon pastel everything. Fight me, other Gen X!
Everybody thinking they can rap.
#reversenostalgia
Zoobilee Zoo. God damn that show was fucked.
The song "Muskrat Love". How the hell was it a hit?
Neon pastel everything. Fight me, other Gen X!
Everybody thinking they can rap.
#reversenostalgia
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Good grief. Everyone knows they were just friends.
February 17, 2026 at 2:40 AM
Good grief. Everyone knows they were just friends.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Do cats think we’re mocking them when we meow back or do they find it endearing, perhaps recognizing it as a meow
February 15, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Do cats think we’re mocking them when we meow back or do they find it endearing, perhaps recognizing it as a meow
I just learned a new phrase : Chinga la migra!
I want to shout it from the rooftops but that would be pretty pointless here in Canada.
Still, though : #chinga_la_migra with a red hot poker.
I want to shout it from the rooftops but that would be pretty pointless here in Canada.
Still, though : #chinga_la_migra with a red hot poker.
February 16, 2026 at 7:39 PM
I just learned a new phrase : Chinga la migra!
I want to shout it from the rooftops but that would be pretty pointless here in Canada.
Still, though : #chinga_la_migra with a red hot poker.
I want to shout it from the rooftops but that would be pretty pointless here in Canada.
Still, though : #chinga_la_migra with a red hot poker.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Ossoff: "Among today's false prophets are the election deniers who indulge this president's obsession with overturning the 2020 election. Hear me when I say this -- they tell a lie so absurd, and therefore so debasing, that the act of telling it proves the teller's total and humiliating submission."
February 16, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Ossoff: "Among today's false prophets are the election deniers who indulge this president's obsession with overturning the 2020 election. Hear me when I say this -- they tell a lie so absurd, and therefore so debasing, that the act of telling it proves the teller's total and humiliating submission."
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Watching one of my "comfort" movies. Broadcast News. When it came out I was a new associate producer at the local ABC affiliate and I took my dad to the movie to show him what I did. I told him I was the Joan Cusack character.
February 15, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Watching one of my "comfort" movies. Broadcast News. When it came out I was a new associate producer at the local ABC affiliate and I took my dad to the movie to show him what I did. I told him I was the Joan Cusack character.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Pizza Week at Everywhere on Friday meant trying Posse’s new Caesar Salad Pizza.
February 16, 2026 at 12:13 AM
Pizza Week at Everywhere on Friday meant trying Posse’s new Caesar Salad Pizza.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
My next book? 😆
February 15, 2026 at 11:43 PM
My next book? 😆
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
i really think that the worst thing about this era of politics is that we're so far from even basic liberalism that i have to actively argue FOR liberal ideals before i can even begin to touch on socialism
February 15, 2026 at 6:07 PM
i really think that the worst thing about this era of politics is that we're so far from even basic liberalism that i have to actively argue FOR liberal ideals before i can even begin to touch on socialism
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Did you know that in 1989 Star Trek: The Next Generation had an episode featuring a deaf character played by a Deaf actor? The original draft script had the character learning to speak after his interpreters were killed but the actor convinced them to have him teach others to sign instead.
February 15, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Did you know that in 1989 Star Trek: The Next Generation had an episode featuring a deaf character played by a Deaf actor? The original draft script had the character learning to speak after his interpreters were killed but the actor convinced them to have him teach others to sign instead.
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Read and share all over..he nails it
February 16, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Read and share all over..he nails it
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I want to wish all my beloved followers a very happy Feel Bad About Being Single For No Goddamn Reason Day.
Maybe the lovers be loving and the singletons be really good at masturbating, which is equally valid.
#valentinesday #valentine #love #masturbation #cumhard
Maybe the lovers be loving and the singletons be really good at masturbating, which is equally valid.
#valentinesday #valentine #love #masturbation #cumhard
February 15, 2026 at 12:39 AM
I want to wish all my beloved followers a very happy Feel Bad About Being Single For No Goddamn Reason Day.
Maybe the lovers be loving and the singletons be really good at masturbating, which is equally valid.
#valentinesday #valentine #love #masturbation #cumhard
Maybe the lovers be loving and the singletons be really good at masturbating, which is equally valid.
#valentinesday #valentine #love #masturbation #cumhard
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
I have stress-eaten an entire bag of watermelon gummy candies today, and while they were delicious, I regret my life choices
February 13, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I have stress-eaten an entire bag of watermelon gummy candies today, and while they were delicious, I regret my life choices
Reposted by The fake Michael Bertrand
Okay, NOW I’m about to open my Pokemon cards. 🤪 Does anyone else ever have it happen where sometimes you’re super excited to do a little thing for yourself but then some crazy shit fully unrelated to you pops off that you have to deal with instead? Or is that just a me thing? 😝
February 13, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Okay, NOW I’m about to open my Pokemon cards. 🤪 Does anyone else ever have it happen where sometimes you’re super excited to do a little thing for yourself but then some crazy shit fully unrelated to you pops off that you have to deal with instead? Or is that just a me thing? 😝