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Gabriel Morton

@gabrielenguard.bsky.social

930 followers 570 following 4.4K posts

A slapdash attempt at the slipshod. I am writing about every episode of The Simpsons. I have played every DOS game. Read here: https://keepetclassy.com/authors/gabriel Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@KeepetClassy/streams

keepetclassy.com

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Reposted by Gabriel Morton

Parker Molloy @parkermolloy.com · 4h

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Sera @serageranium.bsky.social · 2h

There's nothing wrong with Hooters per se, but only a deeply sexually repressed society would be capable of producing Hooters. It's wild that it existed alongside Applebee's and Chilli's. Yeah man let's go to the psychosexual chicken wing place.

"I want to watch sports and eat chicken wings but I also want to constantly be aware that every waitress in this restaurant was hired for her fat tits. No I want them to be clothed the whole time. I just wanna know that like, in the background."

Any upstanding pervert could come up with a strip club. That's good honest fun. But even a normal pervert couldn't come up Hooters. You gotta be a pervert who doesn't even know you're a pervert.

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Cαrínα ᓚᘏᗢ @carina.delachancla.com · 50m

There’s already a discord emote for this?? 💀

A horribly AI slop enhanced pic of a guy playing a Darius arcade machine. The original picture does not look like this at all

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Reposted by Gabriel Morton

Duncan Jones @manmademoon.bsky.social · 52m

I know this is a serious story, but does this pic not make it look like some noir point and click adventure game? Had me questioning my sanity for ages!

KTLA 5 @ktla.com · 1h

At least 1 person shot outside strip club in Los Angeles

Police are investigating after a person was shot not far from a strip club in Atwater Village late Thursday afternoon. Details are limited and it’s unclear exactly what occurred, but officia…

ktla.com

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 1h

"I drink the first 6 beers because I have to, and then the rest is for me". Old Butt-Head.

Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 1h

I have to post this on Mastodon, don't I?

Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 2h

One of you cunts make this for me, I'll pay you.

GitHub - OrangeFox86/DreamPicoPort: Dreamcast to USB Gamepad Converter for Raspberry Pi Pico

Dreamcast to USB Gamepad Converter for Raspberry Pi Pico - OrangeFox86/DreamPicoPort

github.com

Reposted by Gabriel Morton

ana @totebug.bsky.social · Feb 4

With the power of the serial port on the iphone notch, you can connect and securely screw a serial cable to swing your iphone around like a whip. It's both an improvised weapon and a trendy and fashionable way to carry your iphone.

a picture of bridget from guilty gear throwing her yoyo but i replaced the yoyo with a poorly photoshoped iphone with a serial port connected to the notch area. bridget is holding the other end of the cable

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 1h

Reposted by Gabriel Morton

KOTH Screens @kothscreens.bsky.social · 1h

Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 4, Episode 10

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Matinee Mode @matineemode.bsky.social · 7h

In this charming throwback to the classic era of Hollywood screwball comedies, John Landis places Stallone at the center of a murderer's row of superb character actors, drapes it all in a stunning Elmer Berstein score & pulls off a stylish period mob comedy that’s aged way better than you remember.

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Juno Rylee Schultz @junoryleejournalism.com · 1d

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

SHAPIRO: OK, so you've spent your career creating television without Al, and I could imagine today you thinking, boy, I wish I had had that tool to solve those thorny problems...
SIMON: What?
SHAPIRO: ...Or saying...
SIMON: You imagine that?
SHAPIRO: ...Boy, if that had existed, it would have screwed me over.
SIMON: I don't think Al can remotely challenge what writers do at a fundamentally creative level.
SHAPIRO: But if you're trying to transition from scene five to scene six, and you're stuck with that transition, you could imagine plugging that portion of the script into an Al and say, give me 10 ideas for how to transition this.
SIMON: I'd rather put a gun in my mouth.

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 2h

One of you cunts make this for me, I'll pay you.

GitHub - OrangeFox86/DreamPicoPort: Dreamcast to USB Gamepad Converter for Raspberry Pi Pico

Dreamcast to USB Gamepad Converter for Raspberry Pi Pico - OrangeFox86/DreamPicoPort

github.com

Reposted by Gabriel Morton

Dave Earley @earleyedition.bsky.social · 2h

I'm off work this week, so don't know who wrote this headline, but it deserves an award. Perhaps a Walkley, a Pulitzer… a Nobel Peace Prize!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

You won’t believe what degrading practice the pope just condemned

Communication must be freed from clickbait and misguided thinking, head of Catholic church tells journalists

www.theguardian.com

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Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 2h

Welcome to…. Jurassic Park Louisiana.

Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 2h

Putting this on my vision board for how I want to age.

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Lindsay Beyerstein @beyerstein.bsky.social · 4h

Of all the clerics they could have popped, those ICE idiots had to hit Hot Priest.

Presbyterian minister David Black on CNN, who was shot with pepper balls while praying outside an ICE facility.

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 2h

The pouches are a great place to keep your people clothes, just make sure to get them out before you go to sleep.

Albert Gourrier @catchthepinfall.blue · 2h

I'm not a big fan of the Howling 'sequels' but this one just grew on me. I'd recommend it as a guilty pleasure movie.

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the homophobic boy detective @gaorush.bsky.social · 2d

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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 2h

Two surgeons are performing and autopsy. They are extracting various organs from a corpse. Another surgeon has shown up in a large Spongebob mascot outfit.

Caption "Aw Jeez, I'm the only one who wore a costume."

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Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 5h

Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.

The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein

YouTube video by The Onion

www.youtube.com

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 2h

"For the last time, I'm Erect-TRON"

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Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 3h

That's what she wants you to think.

Gary Erskine @garyerskine.bsky.social · 10h

PSA: A reminder that Margot Robbie, Emma Stone, Samara Weaving, Jaime Pressly, Jaime Mackey and Jaime King are actually six different people

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Actual names @actualnames.bsky.social · 2d

Beans Factor

Manhattan University graphic featuring Bean Factor

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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 4h

What do you mean "possible rise," dude is at the top of the pack. He is the literal pope

The Washington Post @washingtonpost.com · 11h

As Pope Leo begins to reveal some of his views on divisive issues, some conservative critics of his predecessor are rejecting the possible rise of another “liberal pope.”

As Pope Leo riles conservatives, some say ‘just focus on the church’

Conservatives who hoped that Leo, the first U.S.-born pope, would be more of a traditionalist instead hear echoes of his predecessor, Francis, in his public statements.

www.washingtonpost.com

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Cαrínα ᓚᘏᗢ @carina.delachancla.com · 3h

Ray from Fighter's History on the bottom left yelling "BAKED POTATO" over a picture of potatoes on a baking pan covered with foil

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Adam Serwer @adamserwer.bsky.social · 3h

www.wweek.com/culture/2025...

Can you put into words what that purpose is? You and the frog have really become icons of this protest.

There’s been a nice overall whimsy that has shown up. The frog is amazing. We had a bunch of other inflatable people here last night, too. I saw people playing Twister the other day.

What they rely on is fear. So by coming out in an absurdist manner, it speaks to them, to some extent, that we’re actually not that afraid.

It also dismantles their narrative a little bit. When they try to describe this situation as “war-torn,” it becomes much harder to take them seriously when they have to post a video saying [U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security] Kristi Noem is up on the balcony staring over the Antifa Army and it’s, like, eight journalists and five protesters and one of them is in a chicken suit.

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