let's bring back one of the classics

We have broken everything, haven't we? It's all just fucked.

If cars are so bad for our health, our cities and the planet, why can’t we quit them? Three new books argue it’s time to really try.

"This year's Nobel Prize for Speedrunning goes to W33dl0rd McBong, for his commitment to excellence in Lesiure Suite Larry:

Solidarity with all trans and intersex people having their existence debated every time a tv host hasn't done their prep and can't think of any more questions

Honestly it just makes me feel more resentful about the idea of spending money on the phone, why didn't I just snipe higher :-(

Right, well, it's where all my friends are, so it doesn't improve my life when it's hard to use. BTW I think you misspelled "I don't have this problem, goodbye!"

Well, I did make the sensible decision, but the auction suddenly went way over my budget in the last 5 seconds. :-(

What are "calls", grandad? It crashes while using the apps I actually use it for. IM, social media, school comms, banking, MFA, etc.

I doubt it will look especially beautiful to the casual observer, but I love the old Hohners so much :-)

"We all stand together", was right there.

If I had -- hypothetically -- an amount of money that would pay for EITHER a new phone that actually worked & didn't crash all the time OR a beautiful melodeon with the accidentals and extra basses I want and a thirds stop, there would only really be one sensible decision, wouldn't there?

She was literally handing out a whole page of ideas for quinces to anybody who'd agree to take some 😂❤️

Apparently you can just cut them in half and do them in the oven like a baked apple & they are delicious (says the lady in our Morris side who has been desperately pushing quinces at us... I finally gave in & took some so will see how that works out!) She also suggests making marmalade, or wine ...

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

If they've made me a meal, I will eat it. If they offer me a Wotsit or some other rank snack, I will politely decline. Home-made biscuits etc are somewhere in the middle, a whole raft of considerations there (eg do the biscuits look absolutely joyless? is the offerer an actual child?) #overthinking

I'll not even consider paying attention to anything Farage has to say about what happens in primary schools until *every* member of his party is legally allowed to be within 50ft of one

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

in 2011, the president of antifa hired me to give fashion consultancy to the organization. i recommended everyone wear navy suits with tan shoes, dress sneakers, and golf polos with slim chinos. if you arrested everyone today wearing these things, you'd destroy antifa

a not great aspect of the 2020s is every now and then i'll remember a writer/actor/comedian/musician i haven't heard about in a while and i'll think "oh I wonder how they're doing.... really hope they haven't *directly to camera* TURNED EVIL"

While providing tech support for my FIL:

FIL: What's that screen?

ME: The terminal. You should never use it.

FIL: Never?

ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?

FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.

Yes, because if it wasn’t this, then lots of important white people would now have to go to prison and the irresponsible clowns who cheered them on would have to resign in disgrace

If only there were a French expression to denote an uncanny feeling of having experienced something before

You: They did the math.

Me: ᵀʰᵉʸ ᵈⁱᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒⁿˢᵗᵉʳ ᵐᵃᵗʰ

You: What was that?

Me: Nothing.

Me three hours later in a whisper: ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ᵍʳᵃᵛᵉʸᵃʳᵈ ᵍʳᵃᵖʰ