jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
Pinned
jordan
@jordangerous.bsky.social
· Oct 19
Person: So, how would you describe yourself?
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Me: Verbally, I guess.
Second order of business when I’m in my hometown.
November 26, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Second order of business when I’m in my hometown.
Thanksgiving pro tip: purposely burn your fingers in a flat cooktop so you don’t get dish duty.
November 26, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Thanksgiving pro tip: purposely burn your fingers in a flat cooktop so you don’t get dish duty.
Reposted by jordan
DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 AM
DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
Reposted by jordan
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
November 26, 2025 at 6:45 AM
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
Reposted by jordan
I was out of control, using spreads as dips, it was bad
November 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I was out of control, using spreads as dips, it was bad
Within mere minutes of arriving at my parents’ house for thanksgiving today, my dad called me a democrat as a pejorative. Gonna be a long week.
November 26, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Within mere minutes of arriving at my parents’ house for thanksgiving today, my dad called me a democrat as a pejorative. Gonna be a long week.
The fist thing I do when I get to my home state is get my favorite chips
November 25, 2025 at 11:22 PM
The fist thing I do when I get to my home state is get my favorite chips
Reposted by jordan
Keep pissing me off, I’ll siphon your life’s essence and gift it to my toad friend.
November 23, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Keep pissing me off, I’ll siphon your life’s essence and gift it to my toad friend.
Driving to Detroit to see my parents for Thanksgiving. Who wants me buy me lunch and snacks?!
November 25, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Driving to Detroit to see my parents for Thanksgiving. Who wants me buy me lunch and snacks?!
Reposted by jordan
over 18k posts is clearly a sign of a well balanced person and not a desperate cry for help
November 24, 2025 at 2:15 PM
over 18k posts is clearly a sign of a well balanced person and not a desperate cry for help
Some of you you don’t have any ties to the criminal underworld and it shows
November 24, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Some of you you don’t have any ties to the criminal underworld and it shows
Keep pissing me off, I’ll siphon your life’s essence and gift it to my toad friend.
November 23, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Keep pissing me off, I’ll siphon your life’s essence and gift it to my toad friend.
Reposted by jordan
Whenever I feel unprepared for retirement, I glance at my big vodka bottle filled with loose change and sigh with relief.
November 23, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Whenever I feel unprepared for retirement, I glance at my big vodka bottle filled with loose change and sigh with relief.
I don’t really drink, but I have a very strong conviction that champagne should be consumed from a coupe and not a flute.
November 23, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I don’t really drink, but I have a very strong conviction that champagne should be consumed from a coupe and not a flute.
Reposted by jordan
i like to have one nacho then another then two then three in the fibonacho sequence
November 23, 2025 at 5:10 PM
i like to have one nacho then another then two then three in the fibonacho sequence
Reposted by jordan
imagine hating me and i'm just over here trying to shrink myself so i can live in a dollhouse
November 23, 2025 at 5:14 PM
imagine hating me and i'm just over here trying to shrink myself so i can live in a dollhouse
Reposted by jordan
I’m still banned from the tanning bed place. You try to thaw a turkey one time and they never forgive you.
November 23, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I’m still banned from the tanning bed place. You try to thaw a turkey one time and they never forgive you.
Reposted by jordan
nibbling on the corners of saltines and imagining I’m a little mouse prince
November 23, 2025 at 5:21 PM
nibbling on the corners of saltines and imagining I’m a little mouse prince
Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere with me.
November 23, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere with me.
Does my company know that this is who they’re asking to care about key performance indicators?
November 23, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Does my company know that this is who they’re asking to care about key performance indicators?
When somebody farts, I always say “nice. what kind of motor you got in that thing?”
November 23, 2025 at 12:40 AM
When somebody farts, I always say “nice. what kind of motor you got in that thing?”
Reposted by jordan
I triple stamp that double dog dare to give ME $500
November 22, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I triple stamp that double dog dare to give ME $500