Kelly Crawford
@kellycrawford.bsky.social
Complete amateur. At everything. Absolutely lacking in any measurable talent.
Je suis Susan.
Actually had a convo with our new CTO yesterday about how I would like to download the 23 yrs of knowledge that resides solely in my brain. I have so many ”stories” about why this bit of data is stored like this or why this process exists.
TLDR: I know where the bodies are buried
Actually had a convo with our new CTO yesterday about how I would like to download the 23 yrs of knowledge that resides solely in my brain. I have so many ”stories” about why this bit of data is stored like this or why this process exists.
TLDR: I know where the bodies are buried
This is a very important thread, the "Susan Knows" test should be mandatory for all organisations
Every org has a couple of old heads in nondescript positions that functions as the organisation's memory. "Susan will know". Until Susan retires or is replaced with a generative AI...
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Je suis Susan.
Actually had a convo with our new CTO yesterday about how I would like to download the 23 yrs of knowledge that resides solely in my brain. I have so many ”stories” about why this bit of data is stored like this or why this process exists.
TLDR: I know where the bodies are buried
Actually had a convo with our new CTO yesterday about how I would like to download the 23 yrs of knowledge that resides solely in my brain. I have so many ”stories” about why this bit of data is stored like this or why this process exists.
TLDR: I know where the bodies are buried
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
You’re buying sequinned tops and party dresses whilst I’ve bought an ultra soft loungewear set for Dec 27th.
That’s right. I’m going to be dressing fancy for my sofa nest on Decompressing Day.
That’s right. I’m going to be dressing fancy for my sofa nest on Decompressing Day.
December 5, 2025 at 2:53 PM
You’re buying sequinned tops and party dresses whilst I’ve bought an ultra soft loungewear set for Dec 27th.
That’s right. I’m going to be dressing fancy for my sofa nest on Decompressing Day.
That’s right. I’m going to be dressing fancy for my sofa nest on Decompressing Day.
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
sorry for being annoying it’s just that i’m really annoying
December 1, 2025 at 7:00 AM
sorry for being annoying it’s just that i’m really annoying
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
Actually doing Whamageddon at Christmas is a moral failing, you should be listening to Last Christmas at least once a day if not ten
December 1, 2025 at 10:58 AM
Actually doing Whamageddon at Christmas is a moral failing, you should be listening to Last Christmas at least once a day if not ten
You might refer to them as your ”squad” or “found family” but I call them my
November 30, 2025 at 3:11 PM
You might refer to them as your ”squad” or “found family” but I call them my
Find me a post that you can use as a reply to all other posts, ever
*banging clipboard*
GRAVY
GRAVY
GRAVY
GRAVY
GRAVY
GRAVY
November 28, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Find me a post that you can use as a reply to all other posts, ever
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
for a modest fee I will comment “ai slop” on your ex boyfriend’s selfie
November 27, 2025 at 5:13 PM
for a modest fee I will comment “ai slop” on your ex boyfriend’s selfie
Pffft. My mum got Ian Wright to phone me and wish me a happy birthday on my 16th. Don’t start thinking you’re special Zohran…
November 24, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Pffft. My mum got Ian Wright to phone me and wish me a happy birthday on my 16th. Don’t start thinking you’re special Zohran…
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
sorry I have big boobs and correct opinions, once I get forklift certified, I'll be unstoppable
November 24, 2025 at 4:34 PM
sorry I have big boobs and correct opinions, once I get forklift certified, I'll be unstoppable
One day, when I can be arsed, I am going to research and publish a matrix of the best biscuits to eat in bed, measuring taste against the risk of mess created (crumbs and/or melted chocolate).
Chocolate gingerbread digestives are already scoring very poorly against one of those measurements.
Chocolate gingerbread digestives are already scoring very poorly against one of those measurements.
November 23, 2025 at 8:25 PM
One day, when I can be arsed, I am going to research and publish a matrix of the best biscuits to eat in bed, measuring taste against the risk of mess created (crumbs and/or melted chocolate).
Chocolate gingerbread digestives are already scoring very poorly against one of those measurements.
Chocolate gingerbread digestives are already scoring very poorly against one of those measurements.
Both freezers need defrosting so the drawers keep getting stuck.
Have I defrosted them? No.
Have I instead rearranged the entire contents so that I can more easily get to the stuff I need? Yes.
Have I advised my family of where everything now is? Nope.
Have I defrosted them? No.
Have I instead rearranged the entire contents so that I can more easily get to the stuff I need? Yes.
Have I advised my family of where everything now is? Nope.
November 23, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Both freezers need defrosting so the drawers keep getting stuck.
Have I defrosted them? No.
Have I instead rearranged the entire contents so that I can more easily get to the stuff I need? Yes.
Have I advised my family of where everything now is? Nope.
Have I defrosted them? No.
Have I instead rearranged the entire contents so that I can more easily get to the stuff I need? Yes.
Have I advised my family of where everything now is? Nope.
November 22, 2025 at 8:03 PM
November 22, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
Elf-made shoes
‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’, 1965
Artist: Robert Lumley
‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’, 1965
Artist: Robert Lumley
November 22, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Elf-made shoes
‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’, 1965
Artist: Robert Lumley
‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’, 1965
Artist: Robert Lumley
November 22, 2025 at 7:35 PM
November 22, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
Donald Trump left on two blue ticks after Zohran goes back to New York 😢
November 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Donald Trump left on two blue ticks after Zohran goes back to New York 😢
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
You're not asking trans people. You're asking all people. This affects us all. Anyone could be barred from services based on appearance. Since, surprisingly we all have a fecking appearance
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Trans people could be barred from services based on appearance
The new code of practice on access to single-sex services cannot gain legal force until it gets sign-off from ministers.
www.bbc.co.uk
November 21, 2025 at 1:15 AM
You're not asking trans people. You're asking all people. This affects us all. Anyone could be barred from services based on appearance. Since, surprisingly we all have a fecking appearance
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
Trying to identify who each of the female pros were representing in the pro dance #strictly
Nadiya: Marilyn Monroe
Luba: Chita Rivera?
Nancy: Cyd Cherise
Jovita: Suzanne Charny?
Michelle: ??
Or am I overthinking this?
Nadiya: Marilyn Monroe
Luba: Chita Rivera?
Nancy: Cyd Cherise
Jovita: Suzanne Charny?
Michelle: ??
Or am I overthinking this?
November 16, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Trying to identify who each of the female pros were representing in the pro dance #strictly
Nadiya: Marilyn Monroe
Luba: Chita Rivera?
Nancy: Cyd Cherise
Jovita: Suzanne Charny?
Michelle: ??
Or am I overthinking this?
Nadiya: Marilyn Monroe
Luba: Chita Rivera?
Nancy: Cyd Cherise
Jovita: Suzanne Charny?
Michelle: ??
Or am I overthinking this?
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
This one? Like a condom filled with mackeral paté. Happy to help.
November 16, 2025 at 2:20 PM
This one? Like a condom filled with mackeral paté. Happy to help.
Fuck it, I’m starting on the Christmas romcoms
November 15, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Fuck it, I’m starting on the Christmas romcoms
Reposted by Kelly Crawford
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October
November 13, 2025 at 8:08 AM
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October