Major Clanger
@majorclanger.bsky.social
Cat minion, collector of Lego / old calculators / cake moulds. Baker, middle-aged weightlifter and convert to gardening. Has a growing assortment of Master's degrees including electronics, law and forensics.
Reposted by Major Clanger
Reminds me of a Bernardism from Yes, Minister.
James Hacker:
...but I have never leaked.
Bernard Woolley:
Oh, that's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he's been charged under Section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.
James Hacker:
...but I have never leaked.
Bernard Woolley:
Oh, that's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he's been charged under Section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.
December 1, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Reminds me of a Bernardism from Yes, Minister.
James Hacker:
...but I have never leaked.
Bernard Woolley:
Oh, that's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he's been charged under Section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.
James Hacker:
...but I have never leaked.
Bernard Woolley:
Oh, that's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential press briefings; you leak; he's been charged under Section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.
Reposted by Major Clanger
So, happy 50th anniversary to Melody Maker’s review of Bohemian Rhapsody: “Queen, with a suitably baroque vocal orchestration, contrive to approximate the demented fury of the Balham Amateur Operatic Society performing The Pirates of Penzance”
November 29, 2025 at 10:26 AM
So, happy 50th anniversary to Melody Maker’s review of Bohemian Rhapsody: “Queen, with a suitably baroque vocal orchestration, contrive to approximate the demented fury of the Balham Amateur Operatic Society performing The Pirates of Penzance”
“Firstly, I’m infallible. Secondly, my ticket has that seat number on it.”
Muscular Christianity.
“Wear some headphones, kid. And put your shoes back on”
“Wear some headphones, kid. And put your shoes back on”
November 29, 2025 at 10:03 AM
“Firstly, I’m infallible. Secondly, my ticket has that seat number on it.”
British railways logic.
November 29, 2025 at 10:00 AM
British railways logic.
Reposted by Major Clanger
Install a life-size Krynoid sculpture.
November 27, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Install a life-size Krynoid sculpture.
Dear USA
I had thought your government was already doing all it could to deter tourism, but it seems I was wrong.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
I had thought your government was already doing all it could to deter tourism, but it seems I was wrong.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
US hikes national park fees for foreigners to put 'American families first'
Non-residents will soon have to pay $100 per person to enter 11 of the United States' most popular parks.
www.bbc.co.uk
November 26, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Dear USA
I had thought your government was already doing all it could to deter tourism, but it seems I was wrong.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
I had thought your government was already doing all it could to deter tourism, but it seems I was wrong.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
We really need a David Attenborough voiceover about how the adults are circling to protect the young.
So this happened in Oslo yesterday. Four articulated buses got stuck in a roundabout.
November 26, 2025 at 2:57 PM
We really need a David Attenborough voiceover about how the adults are circling to protect the young.
Another unfortunate legal typo caught just in time - I almost accused my client's ex-spouse of "reckless and wonton dissipation".
While we have concerns about what he did with the matrimonial money, we are not actually suggesting he blew the lot down the local Chinese takeaway.
While we have concerns about what he did with the matrimonial money, we are not actually suggesting he blew the lot down the local Chinese takeaway.
November 26, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Another unfortunate legal typo caught just in time - I almost accused my client's ex-spouse of "reckless and wonton dissipation".
While we have concerns about what he did with the matrimonial money, we are not actually suggesting he blew the lot down the local Chinese takeaway.
While we have concerns about what he did with the matrimonial money, we are not actually suggesting he blew the lot down the local Chinese takeaway.
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
November 25, 2025 at 8:01 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Reposted by Major Clanger
Yours for a bit shy of one million of your finest English pounds: one crack den.
They really don't want to share any interior shots but when they do, you just know that unspeakable acts have been committed within... www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...
Check out this 3 bedroom end of terrace house for sale on Rightmove
3 bedroom end of terrace house for sale in 75 Camden Mews, Camden, London, NW1 9BY, NW1 for £925,000. Marketed by Auction House London, Hampstead
www.rightmove.co.uk
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Yours for a bit shy of one million of your finest English pounds: one crack den.
We need to set up a UK counterpart - anyone got a snail and a ginger beer bottle?
please don’t ask me how much i spent on merch at the american museum of tort law
November 13, 2025 at 7:06 AM
We need to set up a UK counterpart - anyone got a snail and a ginger beer bottle?
Reposted by Major Clanger
Absolutely gone at this story from Harris on FB, the last sentence is pure Atlantic coast magic.
November 12, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Absolutely gone at this story from Harris on FB, the last sentence is pure Atlantic coast magic.
November 9, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Deconstructed Ship of Theseus.
November 9, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Deconstructed Ship of Theseus.
Reposted by Major Clanger
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
November 7, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
Reposted by Major Clanger
If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit
Defense says that the officer's testimony was "very questionable" because he said the sandwich both exploded in spray of mustard and onions and also landed in its wrapper on the ground.
November 5, 2025 at 8:29 PM
If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit
In any sane world the US Government would be nationalising SpaceX on the grounds that it is a critical national asset being run by a madman, and the UK Government would be moving all communications off X because you cannot trust someone with beliefs like this to handle your social media.
Elon Musk, "These lovely small towns in England, Scotland and Ireland, they've been living their lives quietly. They're like hobbits"
"And so one day, 1,000 people show up in your village of 500 and start raping the kids"
"This has now happened, God knows how many times in Britain"
"And so one day, 1,000 people show up in your village of 500 and start raping the kids"
"This has now happened, God knows how many times in Britain"
November 2, 2025 at 9:21 PM
In any sane world the US Government would be nationalising SpaceX on the grounds that it is a critical national asset being run by a madman, and the UK Government would be moving all communications off X because you cannot trust someone with beliefs like this to handle your social media.
T Ocellus from #AlienEarth - as a pumpkin.
October 31, 2025 at 8:26 PM
T Ocellus from #AlienEarth - as a pumpkin.
Reposted by Major Clanger
'Something... Something... Enid Blyton.'
October 30, 2025 at 7:54 AM
'Something... Something... Enid Blyton.'
Reposted by Major Clanger
personally, I think meerkats with suspect Russian accents are wildly over-represented in adverts.
Danny Kruger just told Nick Robinson that Sarah Pochin’s remarks weren’t racist because she was “driven mad” not by seeing Black and Asian people on TV but by their “over-representation”. Robinson didn’t ask what’s so maddening about over-representation. Is there a rule adverts have to reflect life?
October 28, 2025 at 8:03 AM
personally, I think meerkats with suspect Russian accents are wildly over-represented in adverts.
Reposted by Major Clanger
That's the face of a man who knows he just gave a Cubs jersey to a Sox fan
Mar Awa III, patriarch of the Assyrian Church of the East, also born in Chicago, gave Pope Leo a Cubs jersey.
October 28, 2025 at 4:40 AM
That's the face of a man who knows he just gave a Cubs jersey to a Sox fan
“…and I cast Unfair Prejudice Petition in return!” - who says Companies Act litigation is boring?
Dungeons & Dragons club in £150k battle sparked by alleged ‘dungeonmaster cuddle’
Members at Arcadia can pay up to £300-a-month for workspace plus unlimited games of D&D
www.independent.co.uk
October 25, 2025 at 11:31 AM
“…and I cast Unfair Prejudice Petition in return!” - who says Companies Act litigation is boring?
Over on Threads and I think we’ve discovered RFK’s secret sock-puppet account.
October 21, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Over on Threads and I think we’ve discovered RFK’s secret sock-puppet account.