Max E Nurse
@maxenurse.bsky.social
Irreverent Brit nurse practitioner, chronic dad humour... "It shouldn't happen in health care" @ maxenurse.wordpress.com . Married, kids, relatively sane from the outside!
Nobody pays me any attention... bsky.app/profile/maxenurse.bsky.social
8/1/25
Nobody pays me any attention... bsky.app/profile/maxenurse.bsky.social
8/1/25
Pinned
Max E Nurse
@maxenurse.bsky.social
· Mar 7
Patient wanted me to check his testicles... They are now looking like The Times crossword, which is a coincidence as he had a cross word with me when I put the Sharpies away. Still at least you can't see his rash anymore.
Our Christmas tree is ... "Special" we have dinosaurs, a skunk and a reindeer made from a clothes peg!!
December 13, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Our Christmas tree is ... "Special" we have dinosaurs, a skunk and a reindeer made from a clothes peg!!
Tomato souperman!?
Who is your favorite Avenger? Mine is Jeff Gillooly.
December 13, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Tomato souperman!?
Lumiere was a little bent!
December 13, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Lumiere was a little bent!
Gillian Anderson tells me...
"We don't age, we upgrade"
I think she's right... Last time I upgraded by computer it too started to go slower and do things I don't like!!
"We don't age, we upgrade"
I think she's right... Last time I upgraded by computer it too started to go slower and do things I don't like!!
a close up of a woman 's face with the letter a on her ear
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with the letter a on her ear
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Gillian Anderson tells me...
"We don't age, we upgrade"
I think she's right... Last time I upgraded by computer it too started to go slower and do things I don't like!!
"We don't age, we upgrade"
I think she's right... Last time I upgraded by computer it too started to go slower and do things I don't like!!
Loving my secret Santa new lunch bag!!
December 6, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Loving my secret Santa new lunch bag!!
I can only apologise that it's taken 51 years before I bought my first Dolly album...
December 5, 2025 at 5:52 PM
I can only apologise that it's taken 51 years before I bought my first Dolly album...
Can any nurses listen to Everything but the girls "and I miss you" without hearing "and MSU"?
JUST ME!?
JUST ME!?
December 5, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Can any nurses listen to Everything but the girls "and I miss you" without hearing "and MSU"?
JUST ME!?
JUST ME!?
So.... Has "always" always meant "all time" rather than "all ways"?...
Did Bon Jovi mean he would love you "for all of time" or "all ways" as in the karma sutra?
Did Bon Jovi mean he would love you "for all of time" or "all ways" as in the karma sutra?
a man singing into a microphone with the words and i 'll be there behind him
ALT: a man singing into a microphone with the words and i 'll be there behind him
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2025 at 6:58 AM
So.... Has "always" always meant "all time" rather than "all ways"?...
Did Bon Jovi mean he would love you "for all of time" or "all ways" as in the karma sutra?
Did Bon Jovi mean he would love you "for all of time" or "all ways" as in the karma sutra?
"You will be visited by 3 spirits..."
The three spirits...
The three spirits...
December 3, 2025 at 10:39 PM
"You will be visited by 3 spirits..."
The three spirits...
The three spirits...
Reposted by Max E Nurse
Words containing "meow"
Meow
Meows
Meowed
Homeowners
Meowing
Meow
Meows
Meowed
Homeowners
Meowing
December 1, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Words containing "meow"
Meow
Meows
Meowed
Homeowners
Meowing
Meow
Meows
Meowed
Homeowners
Meowing
Reposted by Max E Nurse
I was scrolling headlines last night when suddenly
December 1, 2025 at 12:12 PM
I was scrolling headlines last night when suddenly
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild...
Kangaroo
Dusky Dolphins
Millions on seals!!
Crocodiles
Tree frogs.
Kangaroo
Dusky Dolphins
Millions on seals!!
Crocodiles
Tree frogs.
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Whale (grey, humpback, & killer)
Dolphin
Mt lion
Elk
Wolf
Whale (grey, humpback, & killer)
Dolphin
Mt lion
Elk
Wolf
Five animals i have seen in the wild
Roo
Both sorts of possums
Six kinds of snake
Emu
And rather the seen, i heard and boy do the make sure you hear it - rutting koalas
The most disturbing sound in the Australian Bush
Roo
Both sorts of possums
Six kinds of snake
Emu
And rather the seen, i heard and boy do the make sure you hear it - rutting koalas
The most disturbing sound in the Australian Bush
November 29, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild...
Kangaroo
Dusky Dolphins
Millions on seals!!
Crocodiles
Tree frogs.
Kangaroo
Dusky Dolphins
Millions on seals!!
Crocodiles
Tree frogs.
Reposted by Max E Nurse
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
November 29, 2025 at 1:58 PM
For the life of her, Chloe could not figure out how what had seemed like such a good plan, had gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
Reposted by Max E Nurse
that’s nice, seafood is expensive
November 28, 2025 at 4:16 PM
that’s nice, seafood is expensive
Reposted by Max E Nurse
how else will i know if my kid's a witch?
November 26, 2025 at 7:28 PM
how else will i know if my kid's a witch?
The 111 call handlers have proved again how knowledgeable they are regarding medical terms...
November 27, 2025 at 8:28 AM
The 111 call handlers have proved again how knowledgeable they are regarding medical terms...
A kick in the nuts works just as well, without any toxins ... I can offer this without prescription.
November 24, 2025 at 1:06 PM
A kick in the nuts works just as well, without any toxins ... I can offer this without prescription.
Reposted by Max E Nurse
To the people who suffer in silence-
Thank you!!!
Thank you!!!
November 3, 2025 at 1:40 PM
To the people who suffer in silence-
Thank you!!!
Thank you!!!
Ironically I didn't think they'll want to play my favourite song at my funeral...
a black and white photo of a band with the words " i 'm still alive "
ALT: a black and white photo of a band with the words " i 'm still alive "
media.tenor.com
October 29, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Ironically I didn't think they'll want to play my favourite song at my funeral...
Rest in Peace Sybil.
a woman wearing a pink headband is talking on a cell phone
ALT: a woman wearing a pink headband is talking on a cell phone
media.tenor.com
October 28, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Rest in Peace Sybil.
Reposted by Max E Nurse
Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
October 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
Should constipation simply be referred to as back logged?
October 28, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Should constipation simply be referred to as back logged?
The post-pilates fart is the best fart of the week.
There's only so much clenching I can do!!
There's only so much clenching I can do!!
October 22, 2025 at 6:18 PM
The post-pilates fart is the best fart of the week.
There's only so much clenching I can do!!
There's only so much clenching I can do!!
Reposted by Max E Nurse
Nostalgia's okay, but it used to be better
October 21, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Nostalgia's okay, but it used to be better
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.
October 21, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.