Max™
@maxthyme.bsky.social
Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...
(He/Him)
(He/Him)
Pinned
Max™
@maxthyme.bsky.social
· Jul 23
Ok fine I admit it, I'm the one taking bites out of nerf footballs
Hey, remember no matter what what is going on: you are charismatic megafauna!
December 5, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Hey, remember no matter what what is going on: you are charismatic megafauna!
Reposted by Max™
I want to make a movie where Santa has claws and he uses his claws to claw things and santa's claws allow him to save the world with his santa claws, I would call this movie "crab santa"
December 3, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I want to make a movie where Santa has claws and he uses his claws to claw things and santa's claws allow him to save the world with his santa claws, I would call this movie "crab santa"
Reposted by Max™
people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try
December 4, 2025 at 3:47 AM
people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try
Reposted by Max™
In a world where sadly your dollar is an endorsement, i really will be side eyeing everyone who posts their Spotify wrapped this year. Your dollar is being used to pay for AI warfare actively killing people. Your dollar makes them feel comfortable with running ICE ads. Cancel that shit already.
December 2, 2025 at 9:25 PM
In a world where sadly your dollar is an endorsement, i really will be side eyeing everyone who posts their Spotify wrapped this year. Your dollar is being used to pay for AI warfare actively killing people. Your dollar makes them feel comfortable with running ICE ads. Cancel that shit already.
Soup... is nothing.
Bread... is everything.
Bread... is everything.
December 2, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Soup... is nothing.
Bread... is everything.
Bread... is everything.
Hey @funranium.bsky.social is bologna musubi a thing, because we've been on a fried bologna tomato lettuce kick lately.
November 30, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Hey @funranium.bsky.social is bologna musubi a thing, because we've been on a fried bologna tomato lettuce kick lately.
My neighbor told me dwarf fortresses keep killing his goblin armies so I asked how many armies he has and he said he just goes to the goblin pit and gets a new army afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding goblin armies to dwarves and then his demon master started crying.
November 29, 2025 at 3:15 AM
My neighbor told me dwarf fortresses keep killing his goblin armies so I asked how many armies he has and he said he just goes to the goblin pit and gets a new army afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding goblin armies to dwarves and then his demon master started crying.
There are about 50k 911s still in the road in the UK.
Not sure how many rear engine beetles are still in use though.
Hood goes over the engine, trunk or frunk for storage, at least in the US.
Some cars like a c8 Corvette have a hood with access to a storage area in the back and a frunk.
Not sure how many rear engine beetles are still in use though.
Hood goes over the engine, trunk or frunk for storage, at least in the US.
Some cars like a c8 Corvette have a hood with access to a storage area in the back and a frunk.
In the UK, rear engine cars are so rare, the problem doesn't really arise enough to develop a different word or grammar. You'd have to specifically point out where the engine was, or where your luggage goes. It would really only be VW Beetles and it's obvious with them.
November 27, 2025 at 9:08 PM
There are about 50k 911s still in the road in the UK.
Not sure how many rear engine beetles are still in use though.
Hood goes over the engine, trunk or frunk for storage, at least in the US.
Some cars like a c8 Corvette have a hood with access to a storage area in the back and a frunk.
Not sure how many rear engine beetles are still in use though.
Hood goes over the engine, trunk or frunk for storage, at least in the US.
Some cars like a c8 Corvette have a hood with access to a storage area in the back and a frunk.
I just got spit take'D on.
Woke up angry because I found it a cloning facility had made a hybrid of me and a chicken but "it escaped" so I asked who the hell approved this 'my girlfriend?' and she responded "I wasn't here."
Which I guess telling her while eating cereal was a bad idea, so I waited
Woke up angry because I found it a cloning facility had made a hybrid of me and a chicken but "it escaped" so I asked who the hell approved this 'my girlfriend?' and she responded "I wasn't here."
Which I guess telling her while eating cereal was a bad idea, so I waited
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I just got spit take'D on.
Woke up angry because I found it a cloning facility had made a hybrid of me and a chicken but "it escaped" so I asked who the hell approved this 'my girlfriend?' and she responded "I wasn't here."
Which I guess telling her while eating cereal was a bad idea, so I waited
Woke up angry because I found it a cloning facility had made a hybrid of me and a chicken but "it escaped" so I asked who the hell approved this 'my girlfriend?' and she responded "I wasn't here."
Which I guess telling her while eating cereal was a bad idea, so I waited
So last night I heard something running around in the leaves in the yard and on the deck.
This happens, it's normal.
Except this little dude was going 'weee-oooorr' and fucked if I can tell what the hell would be running around making that noise in Memphis in November.
This happens, it's normal.
Except this little dude was going 'weee-oooorr' and fucked if I can tell what the hell would be running around making that noise in Memphis in November.
November 25, 2025 at 10:24 PM
So last night I heard something running around in the leaves in the yard and on the deck.
This happens, it's normal.
Except this little dude was going 'weee-oooorr' and fucked if I can tell what the hell would be running around making that noise in Memphis in November.
This happens, it's normal.
Except this little dude was going 'weee-oooorr' and fucked if I can tell what the hell would be running around making that noise in Memphis in November.
System Of A Down - Psycho (Official Audio)
YouTube video by systemofadownVEVO
youtu.be
November 25, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I think the better question is: who let the dogs in?
November 25, 2025 at 6:32 PM
I think the better question is: who let the dogs in?
Reposted by Max™
Reposted by Max™
A good woman stays by her mans side during the bad times just so she can tell him that absolutely none of this would have happened if only he’d listened to her…
November 20, 2025 at 7:27 PM
A good woman stays by her mans side during the bad times just so she can tell him that absolutely none of this would have happened if only he’d listened to her…
Reposted by Max™
oh is it men's day? i didn't notice because i'm too busy listening to women
November 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
oh is it men's day? i didn't notice because i'm too busy listening to women
Jesus @kierongillen.bsky.social that was not what I expected from tpf13 and I haven't even gotten to die yet!
November 19, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Jesus @kierongillen.bsky.social that was not what I expected from tpf13 and I haven't even gotten to die yet!
Reposted by Max™
The drinking water fandom is dying. Like and share if you're still sipping that clear stuff in 2025
November 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
The drinking water fandom is dying. Like and share if you're still sipping that clear stuff in 2025
Reposted by Max™
not going out for lunch in toontown again. my coworkers convinced me to get a whole string of sausage links and it came out the other end before I’d finished eating. fully intact. the waiter and the busboy used me for a jump rope
November 19, 2025 at 2:02 AM
not going out for lunch in toontown again. my coworkers convinced me to get a whole string of sausage links and it came out the other end before I’d finished eating. fully intact. the waiter and the busboy used me for a jump rope
Reposted by Max™
Why is everyone talking about that weird line dance move?
Did they do it in the back field to confuse the other team?
Did they do it in the back field to confuse the other team?
November 17, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Why is everyone talking about that weird line dance move?
Did they do it in the back field to confuse the other team?
Did they do it in the back field to confuse the other team?
I bet getting lowered slowly into molten metal on a big chain before giving a thumbs up as you go under feels so good.
November 16, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I bet getting lowered slowly into molten metal on a big chain before giving a thumbs up as you go under feels so good.
Reposted by Max™
pulling my pants down on the Carnival cruise and yelling "MASTER AND COMMANDO"
November 16, 2025 at 3:06 AM
pulling my pants down on the Carnival cruise and yelling "MASTER AND COMMANDO"