Phil W. Bayles
@philwbayles.com
Writer permanently stuck in the drafting stage; connoisseur of Dad jokes. Fervent hater of GenAI in all its forms.
If found, please return to the nearest multiplex.
(He/Him)
If found, please return to the nearest multiplex.
(He/Him)
Pinned
Phil W. Bayles
@philwbayles.com
· Nov 21
O Time Thy Pyramids — SillyGoosePress
For one brief, shining moment, as I pulled my fingers away from my typewriter, I thought I had a whole soliloquy. Then I read the first two lines. To be or not to be, that is the question;...
sillygoosepress.com
My latest short story is now available to read online at @sillygoosepress.bsky.social!
It's called "O Time Thy Pyramids" and it's about writer's block and struggling to live up to The Greats.
Also orangutans.
It's called "O Time Thy Pyramids" and it's about writer's block and struggling to live up to The Greats.
Also orangutans.
I miss the days when weird Al just played the accordion and wrote funny parody songs.
I’m not sure how else to put this, but I am not seeking or looking at fitness content and yet for some reason I am being barraged by these weird AI ads with uncanny valley women complaining about how their dads are fat and they need to hire various shirtless men to train them.
All feels very weird?
All feels very weird?
January 24, 2026 at 2:10 PM
I miss the days when weird Al just played the accordion and wrote funny parody songs.
I made the mother of all impulse buys this afternoon. My hope is that it will go some way to helping my writing in 2026 and not just sit on my desk like the creative equivalent of an unloved treadmill...
January 23, 2026 at 7:35 PM
I made the mother of all impulse buys this afternoon. My hope is that it will go some way to helping my writing in 2026 and not just sit on my desk like the creative equivalent of an unloved treadmill...
Spent a couple of hours this evening trying to turn an old Chromebook into a dedicated word processor by installing a new operating system, and the whole thing is making me realise how woeful my knowledge of computers really is. Might as well be pixies inside it making the pixels change colours...
January 20, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Spent a couple of hours this evening trying to turn an old Chromebook into a dedicated word processor by installing a new operating system, and the whole thing is making me realise how woeful my knowledge of computers really is. Might as well be pixies inside it making the pixels change colours...
You should all give @harleyeryley.bsky.social a follow, and a read! She's a wonderful writer and a lovely human being!
Wrote my first Substack post. What fun! #Memoir related and also #chaosgoblin, apparently a Warhammer term but it's what I pretend to be when I want people to think I'm fun and spontaneous (she says, while ticking 'write Substack post' off her to-do list bingo).
open.substack.com/pub/theunfin...
open.substack.com/pub/theunfin...
January 20, 2026 at 1:18 PM
You should all give @harleyeryley.bsky.social a follow, and a read! She's a wonderful writer and a lovely human being!
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
Andor was cooking so unbelievably hard good grief
January 18, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Andor was cooking so unbelievably hard good grief
Finally watched #Hamnet last night. It didn't reduce me to a puddle of tears despite the strategic use of Max Richter, but I enjoyed it a lot.
That said, for the life of me I still can't tell you if Paul Mescal is a good actor, or just very good at playing Sad Men Who Need A Cuddle.
That said, for the life of me I still can't tell you if Paul Mescal is a good actor, or just very good at playing Sad Men Who Need A Cuddle.
January 18, 2026 at 12:21 PM
Finally watched #Hamnet last night. It didn't reduce me to a puddle of tears despite the strategic use of Max Richter, but I enjoyed it a lot.
That said, for the life of me I still can't tell you if Paul Mescal is a good actor, or just very good at playing Sad Men Who Need A Cuddle.
That said, for the life of me I still can't tell you if Paul Mescal is a good actor, or just very good at playing Sad Men Who Need A Cuddle.
It's always nice when you find a book that feels like it was written for you, and #ThereIsNoAntimemeticsDivision is so far up my street that @qntm.org and I are basically neighbours. I started reading it on the train to work this morning and I'm already halfway through.
January 16, 2026 at 9:21 PM
It's always nice when you find a book that feels like it was written for you, and #ThereIsNoAntimemeticsDivision is so far up my street that @qntm.org and I are basically neighbours. I started reading it on the train to work this morning and I'm already halfway through.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
January 14, 2026 at 8:41 AM
Hey, that's me!
I'm very grateful to @writingeastmidlands.com for inviting me to be part of their mentoring scheme for 2026. Looking forward to meeting the other mentees and learning more about what they're working on!
I'm very grateful to @writingeastmidlands.com for inviting me to be part of their mentoring scheme for 2026. Looking forward to meeting the other mentees and learning more about what they're working on!
Meet our third mentee: Phil W. Bayles! 👏
With a background in writing both advertising copy and reviews, Phil applied to our Mentoring Scheme to work on his first novel. His short fiction has been published by Twisted Ink, 50-Word Stories and Silly Goose Press. 📚
With a background in writing both advertising copy and reviews, Phil applied to our Mentoring Scheme to work on his first novel. His short fiction has been published by Twisted Ink, 50-Word Stories and Silly Goose Press. 📚
January 14, 2026 at 9:38 AM
Hey, that's me!
I'm very grateful to @writingeastmidlands.com for inviting me to be part of their mentoring scheme for 2026. Looking forward to meeting the other mentees and learning more about what they're working on!
I'm very grateful to @writingeastmidlands.com for inviting me to be part of their mentoring scheme for 2026. Looking forward to meeting the other mentees and learning more about what they're working on!
I was lucky enough to be invited to the Nantes Workshop last year, and it was one of the best writing experiences I've ever had. No exaggeration, I wouldn't have finished my novel without it.
Plus you get to spend a week in an absolutely gorgeous French town eating your weight in pastry!
Plus you get to spend a week in an absolutely gorgeous French town eating your weight in pastry!
We're open for applications! Deadline: March 15, 2026 for our June session. Prose writers, I'm looking at you. Yes, you. Find out more here: nanteswritersworkshop.com
January 12, 2026 at 7:22 PM
I was lucky enough to be invited to the Nantes Workshop last year, and it was one of the best writing experiences I've ever had. No exaggeration, I wouldn't have finished my novel without it.
Plus you get to spend a week in an absolutely gorgeous French town eating your weight in pastry!
Plus you get to spend a week in an absolutely gorgeous French town eating your weight in pastry!
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
Introducing our next 2026 mentee: Rose Shenton! 👋🎉
Rose is a 29-year-old transwoman and King's College graduate with a BA in English Literature. Her spy thriller, 'The Performance', was shortlisted for the best unpublished thriller at the 2024 Nashville Claymore Awards.
Rose is a 29-year-old transwoman and King's College graduate with a BA in English Literature. Her spy thriller, 'The Performance', was shortlisted for the best unpublished thriller at the 2024 Nashville Claymore Awards.
January 10, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Introducing our next 2026 mentee: Rose Shenton! 👋🎉
Rose is a 29-year-old transwoman and King's College graduate with a BA in English Literature. Her spy thriller, 'The Performance', was shortlisted for the best unpublished thriller at the 2024 Nashville Claymore Awards.
Rose is a 29-year-old transwoman and King's College graduate with a BA in English Literature. Her spy thriller, 'The Performance', was shortlisted for the best unpublished thriller at the 2024 Nashville Claymore Awards.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
Our Mentoring Scheme mentees have been confirmed. Here's who we're going to be working with in 2026. 👀⬇️
First up: it's Aoife O'Connor! ✨ Aoife is a poet, producer, the founder of She Speaks, co-director of Derby Poetry Festival and vice-chair of Forward Arts Foundation board of trustees.
First up: it's Aoife O'Connor! ✨ Aoife is a poet, producer, the founder of She Speaks, co-director of Derby Poetry Festival and vice-chair of Forward Arts Foundation board of trustees.
January 8, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Our Mentoring Scheme mentees have been confirmed. Here's who we're going to be working with in 2026. 👀⬇️
First up: it's Aoife O'Connor! ✨ Aoife is a poet, producer, the founder of She Speaks, co-director of Derby Poetry Festival and vice-chair of Forward Arts Foundation board of trustees.
First up: it's Aoife O'Connor! ✨ Aoife is a poet, producer, the founder of She Speaks, co-director of Derby Poetry Festival and vice-chair of Forward Arts Foundation board of trustees.
I still find it hard to believe that Sam Lake and co. got away with putting the "We Sing" chapter into Alan Wake II. It feels like something that any other studio would've focus-tested into oblivion, but Remedy somehow managed to turn it up to eleven.
tell me about a time you were awed by a set piece in a video game. not a story beat, not an emotional moment or a cool mechanic, but something just There, in the world, that made your jaw drop or sent a chill up your spine
January 10, 2026 at 12:46 PM
I still find it hard to believe that Sam Lake and co. got away with putting the "We Sing" chapter into Alan Wake II. It feels like something that any other studio would've focus-tested into oblivion, but Remedy somehow managed to turn it up to eleven.
Nobody has to enjoy anything but the way that people who didn't like the #StrangerThings finale have tried to fashion a conspiracy about a "true ending" that was "kept" from them is deeply pathetic.
The Duffer Brothers made a creative choice that people didn't like. That's fine. Good, even!
The Duffer Brothers made a creative choice that people didn't like. That's fine. Good, even!
The Stranger Things Secret 'Conformity Gate' Finale Conspiracy Is Dead https://kotaku.com/stranger-things-conformity-gate-secret-netflix-crash-2000658155
Stranger Things ‘Conformity Gate’ Conspiracy Is Dead
Fans had been spreading rumors of a secret ninth episode that would ‘fix’ its disappointing finale
kotaku.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Nobody has to enjoy anything but the way that people who didn't like the #StrangerThings finale have tried to fashion a conspiracy about a "true ending" that was "kept" from them is deeply pathetic.
The Duffer Brothers made a creative choice that people didn't like. That's fine. Good, even!
The Duffer Brothers made a creative choice that people didn't like. That's fine. Good, even!
Indie for AAA fans: Disco Elysium — one of the most remarkable pieces of interactive storytelling I've ever played.
AAA for indie fans: Alan Wake II — proof that having a huge budget and cutting-edge graphics doesn't prevent you from making some real gonzo shit.
AAA for indie fans: Alan Wake II — proof that having a huge budget and cutting-edge graphics doesn't prevent you from making some real gonzo shit.
Which indie game would you recommend to those who ONLY play AAA?
Which AAA game would you recommend to those who ONLY play Indie?
Which AAA game would you recommend to those who ONLY play Indie?
January 7, 2026 at 8:58 PM
Indie for AAA fans: Disco Elysium — one of the most remarkable pieces of interactive storytelling I've ever played.
AAA for indie fans: Alan Wake II — proof that having a huge budget and cutting-edge graphics doesn't prevent you from making some real gonzo shit.
AAA for indie fans: Alan Wake II — proof that having a huge budget and cutting-edge graphics doesn't prevent you from making some real gonzo shit.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
Indie for AAA-ers: Outer Wilds. Beautiful environment and direct control, which I think might be an easier transition than something more click-y or abstract.
AAA for Indie-ers: Alan Wake II. Blockbuster made by proud weirdos. (I'm not getting into any "AA vs. AAA debates here)
AAA for Indie-ers: Alan Wake II. Blockbuster made by proud weirdos. (I'm not getting into any "AA vs. AAA debates here)
Which indie game would you recommend to those who ONLY play AAA?
Which AAA game would you recommend to those who ONLY play Indie?
Which AAA game would you recommend to those who ONLY play Indie?
January 7, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Indie for AAA-ers: Outer Wilds. Beautiful environment and direct control, which I think might be an easier transition than something more click-y or abstract.
AAA for Indie-ers: Alan Wake II. Blockbuster made by proud weirdos. (I'm not getting into any "AA vs. AAA debates here)
AAA for Indie-ers: Alan Wake II. Blockbuster made by proud weirdos. (I'm not getting into any "AA vs. AAA debates here)
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
The Spanish version is “the left liberates, the right oppresses” and once I learned that, both screws and politics made more sense
the single line that has saved me the most hassle in my life is "lefty loosey righty tighty"
January 7, 2026 at 3:47 PM
The Spanish version is “the left liberates, the right oppresses” and once I learned that, both screws and politics made more sense
"The past is a foreign country; and right now with Jet2holidays you can save £50 per person — that's £200 off for a family of four! (ATOL protected)."
'It was a bright cold day in April, and the time sponsored by Accurist was thirteen o'clock precisely.'
‘The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. Should have gone to Radio Rentals!’
January 7, 2026 at 12:00 PM
"The past is a foreign country; and right now with Jet2holidays you can save £50 per person — that's £200 off for a family of four! (ATOL protected)."
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
People literally will not be ABLE to appreciate the authentic if we don't demonise the AI slopping up every corner of the internet and drowning out the human art, how is that hard to understand
Troy Baker said people shouldn't demonize Ai because maybe it will drive people to the authentic.
"What I see happening is that this birth of AI, and this burgeoning industry of it, is actually going to drive people to the authentic."
www.thegamebusiness.com/p/we-intervi...
"What I see happening is that this birth of AI, and this burgeoning industry of it, is actually going to drive people to the authentic."
www.thegamebusiness.com/p/we-intervi...
January 6, 2026 at 10:59 PM
People literally will not be ABLE to appreciate the authentic if we don't demonise the AI slopping up every corner of the internet and drowning out the human art, how is that hard to understand
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
"I actually have one more E" I smirk, and, as Minister for Gadgets, jam my thumb into the Ejector Seat button I have had installed under the desk.
At political cabinet today, Morgan McSweeney gave a presentation on “three Es” on how the government can connect with voters - emotion, empathy and evidence.
Am told he said the government currently has a “deficit in emotion”
Am told he said the government currently has a “deficit in emotion”
January 6, 2026 at 3:39 PM
"I actually have one more E" I smirk, and, as Minister for Gadgets, jam my thumb into the Ejector Seat button I have had installed under the desk.
Been playing a lot of Assassin's Creed Mirage recently, and I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I'm enjoying it considering I haven't played an AC game since Syndicate. I bounced off Origins hard, and had no interest in either Odyssey or Valhalla. It's just nice to see Mirage go back to basics!
January 5, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Been playing a lot of Assassin's Creed Mirage recently, and I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I'm enjoying it considering I haven't played an AC game since Syndicate. I bounced off Origins hard, and had no interest in either Odyssey or Valhalla. It's just nice to see Mirage go back to basics!
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
I'm not "proud" of never having used LLMs or AI-generated images in the same way I'm not "proud" of never having masturbated in the middle of the street. Doing it would be gross and shameful, *not* doing it is just the fucking baseline.
January 5, 2026 at 9:55 PM
I'm not "proud" of never having used LLMs or AI-generated images in the same way I'm not "proud" of never having masturbated in the middle of the street. Doing it would be gross and shameful, *not* doing it is just the fucking baseline.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
can you run doom on it tho
LEGO is launching the most ambitious brick it’s ever made: a tiny computer that fits entirely inside a classic 2x4 LEGO brick. It will make entire LEGO sets come to life — with humming lightsabers, roaring engines, light-up blasters, and more www.theverge.com/tech/854556/...
Lego announces Smart Brick, the ‘most significant evolution’ in 50 years
Starting with Lego Star Wars.
www.theverge.com
January 5, 2026 at 7:52 PM
can you run doom on it tho
My Neighbor Totoro never fails to warm my heart. I know that a big part of what makes the worlds in Studio Ghibli films resonate is the oddness and the danger in them, but I want to live in a world where the logical response to meeting a strange creature is climbing onto its tummy and having a nap.
January 5, 2026 at 7:02 PM
My Neighbor Totoro never fails to warm my heart. I know that a big part of what makes the worlds in Studio Ghibli films resonate is the oddness and the danger in them, but I want to live in a world where the logical response to meeting a strange creature is climbing onto its tummy and having a nap.
Clearly those sheep have never heard of the Baa-bra Streisand Effect.
January 4, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Clearly those sheep have never heard of the Baa-bra Streisand Effect.