Robert Manchild
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robertmanchild.com
Robert Manchild
@robertmanchild.com
extremely online cpap enthusiast. 🏳️‍⚧️🧷

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 https://tinyurl.com/mr2ekn4r
𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 https://tinyurl.com/3af9yp69
𝗠𝘆 𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 https://tinyurl.com/yde7dbew
𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗸 https://tinyurl.com/yr4yusjh

🔗 robertmanchild.com
Pinned
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.

Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Reposted by Robert Manchild
I use my phone like I'm playing Wii bowling when I send a banger skeet
January 11, 2026 at 5:24 PM
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*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it
January 10, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Having a family meeting today to address the quality of dog reels being shared - you don’t have to send everything have some standards
January 10, 2026 at 3:37 PM
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they've got Raffi calling for regime change. something has shifted.
January 9, 2026 at 6:07 PM
Has anyone ever successfully nicknamed themselves?
January 8, 2026 at 8:39 PM
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I don't like the death squads
January 8, 2026 at 6:40 PM
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perfect if literal:crushed ICE
December 31, 2025 at 9:54 PM
The sound of cutlery from your workspace gives me the ick.
January 8, 2026 at 6:25 PM
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ICE agents stopped by protesters after the shooting an observer in Minneapolis, according to witnesse. ICE deployed pepper spray and tear gas.
January 7, 2026 at 5:15 PM
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reminder to not be too hard on yourself if you are feeling major anxiety at any of the truly insane headlines you are seeing these days. it’s likely because you haven’t spent 10,000 hours mastering how to be immune to the truly insane headlines you are seeing these days
January 7, 2026 at 6:10 PM
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My coworker Beth Regards has the most concise email sign-off.
January 7, 2026 at 2:50 PM
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me: if reality really is a simulation then why is it so cruel

also me: i wonder if i can drown this sim in a pot of spaghetti
November 12, 2024 at 12:43 PM
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January 5, 2026 at 10:22 PM
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old woman I gave my seat on the bus to: it’s nice to see polite normal men still out there.
me on way to ex gf’s work to sing teenage dirtbag in an effort to get her back: thank you!
January 5, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Damn it I forgot to turn my whole life around at the end of December.
January 5, 2026 at 3:45 PM
[sighs so loud that all 3 monitors shatter]
January 5, 2026 at 2:30 PM
A24 levels of Sunday Scary.
January 4, 2026 at 9:07 PM
Just delete them all. If it’s important they’ll email again.
January 4, 2026 at 6:15 PM
As distractions go this is a real doozy.
January 3, 2026 at 11:31 PM
January 3, 2026 at 11:20 PM
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It’s coming.
December 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
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I don't need a reason to piss my pants.
January 1, 2026 at 6:56 PM
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please stop posting i have to read 15 books today to hit my goal
December 31, 2025 at 6:14 PM
please stop posting i have to read 15 books today to hit my goal
December 31, 2025 at 6:14 PM