Robyn Pennacchia
@robynelyse.bsky.social
Wonkette writer. Beautiful but doesn't know it. She/ Her
This is exactly what your entire soul needs right now.
yes, hello, I would like to place an order for everyone’s funniest stories of holiday food-related family grudges / drama / chaotic incidents / lore
I feel like we need this
I feel like we need this
November 25, 2025 at 12:10 AM
This is exactly what your entire soul needs right now.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I'm sorry, I'm in a bar so I can't scream, so I'm posting it here.
I'm sorry, I'm in a bar so I can't scream, so I'm posting it here.
Woman found alive in coffin after being brought in for cremation
A woman in Thailand shocked temple staff when she started moving in her coffin after being brought in for cremation.
www.wftv.com
November 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I'm sorry, I'm in a bar so I can't scream, so I'm posting it here.
I'm sorry, I'm in a bar so I can't scream, so I'm posting it here.
I'm sorry what?
"Sorry lady, but you haven't been filing on time — and you know what that means! ABSTRACT NUDE OF YOU IN THE NEXT ISSUE!"
"Sorry lady, but you haven't been filing on time — and you know what that means! ABSTRACT NUDE OF YOU IN THE NEXT ISSUE!"
Anyway, here's an abstract nude of our new editor nypost.com/2025/11/24/m...
Vanity Fair to publish ‘abstract nude portrait’ of Olivia Nuzzi — as scandal-plagued journalist accused of shirking job duties: report
Vanity Fair staffers privately gripe that Olivia Nuzzi has failed to carry out core duties since joining the magazine, according to a report.
nypost.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I'm sorry what?
"Sorry lady, but you haven't been filing on time — and you know what that means! ABSTRACT NUDE OF YOU IN THE NEXT ISSUE!"
"Sorry lady, but you haven't been filing on time — and you know what that means! ABSTRACT NUDE OF YOU IN THE NEXT ISSUE!"
What kind of serial killers are out here eating shrimp like this?
November 24, 2025 at 4:22 PM
What kind of serial killers are out here eating shrimp like this?
Oh no I read the RFK jr blow job poem and I'm not okay.
November 22, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Oh no I read the RFK jr blow job poem and I'm not okay.
Thank goodness the hyperbole police are here to protect the world from the offhanded disparagement of condiments.
November 22, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Thank goodness the hyperbole police are here to protect the world from the offhanded disparagement of condiments.
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
Everyone who thinks MeToo went too far needs to consider that if MeToo had *gone far enough* we might never have heard from Ryan Lizza again.
November 22, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Everyone who thinks MeToo went too far needs to consider that if MeToo had *gone far enough* we might never have heard from Ryan Lizza again.
I'm just saying, I think we can all agree that mayonnaise is a pox upon humanity.
November 22, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I'm just saying, I think we can all agree that mayonnaise is a pox upon humanity.
i just don't understand why I can no longer find a fucking cheeseburger that isn't a smashburger and doesn't have fucking mayonnaise or "special sauce" on it anymore. It's actually very upsetting!
November 22, 2025 at 7:21 PM
i just don't understand why I can no longer find a fucking cheeseburger that isn't a smashburger and doesn't have fucking mayonnaise or "special sauce" on it anymore. It's actually very upsetting!
There's a story that King Henry I died from eating too many lampreys, after pointedly ignoring medical advice from his doctor who said he had to stop eating lampreys, and while that's probably entirely apocryphal, it *does* feel a tad poetic in this context.
The head of health services in the United States, letting parasitic lampreys bite his arms for some godforsaken reason.
November 21, 2025 at 8:35 PM
There's a story that King Henry I died from eating too many lampreys, after pointedly ignoring medical advice from his doctor who said he had to stop eating lampreys, and while that's probably entirely apocryphal, it *does* feel a tad poetic in this context.
I'm sorry — people can still poke you on Facebook?
November 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I'm sorry — people can still poke you on Facebook?
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
kind of funny that the idea of "meritocracy" was supposed to be a pejorative by Michael Young
November 21, 2025 at 7:59 PM
kind of funny that the idea of "meritocracy" was supposed to be a pejorative by Michael Young
I like that they use the word "divisive" as if to imply that the REAL problem is that the people on either side of the split just can't get along with one another (which is, of course, really the fault of the "swastikas, nooses and confederate flags are bad" contingent).
"The Coast Guard will no longer classify the swastika as a hate symbol.
"Instead, the Coast Guard will classify the Nazi insignia as 'potentially divisive' under its new guidelines.
"The new policy similarly downgrades the definition of nooses and the Confederate flag."
Free link wapo.st/3Mbd9a6
"Instead, the Coast Guard will classify the Nazi insignia as 'potentially divisive' under its new guidelines.
"The new policy similarly downgrades the definition of nooses and the Confederate flag."
Free link wapo.st/3Mbd9a6
U.S. Coast Guard will no longer classify swastikas, nooses as hate symbols
The military service, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, has drafted a new policy that classifies such items “potentially divisive.”
wapo.st
November 20, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I like that they use the word "divisive" as if to imply that the REAL problem is that the people on either side of the split just can't get along with one another (which is, of course, really the fault of the "swastikas, nooses and confederate flags are bad" contingent).
This is so terrible but also I am so glad that it exists.
Someone found an mp3 of the creepy "Jailbait" song Olivia Nuzzi released when she was 16 🫣
November 19, 2025 at 9:00 PM
This is so terrible but also I am so glad that it exists.
I'm starting to get scared to open my email now, for fear another place in my neighborhood that I like is going to close.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/11/19/s...
blockclubchicago.org/2025/11/19/s...
Smoke Daddy BBQ Closing In Wicker Park After 31 Years
The barbecue joint on Division Street will close in early January, although the owners plan to open another restaurant there. The Wrigleyville Smoke Daddy will remain open.
blockclubchicago.org
November 19, 2025 at 3:44 PM
I'm starting to get scared to open my email now, for fear another place in my neighborhood that I like is going to close.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/11/19/s...
blockclubchicago.org/2025/11/19/s...
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
So here’s how it works: The entire global economy orients around making NVIDIA as much money as possible, creating negligible value, so Jensen can buy more multi-colored spatulas as set decorations for his kitchen reveal videos.
It all comes down to spatulas.
It all comes down to spatulas.
November 18, 2025 at 6:13 AM
So here’s how it works: The entire global economy orients around making NVIDIA as much money as possible, creating negligible value, so Jensen can buy more multi-colored spatulas as set decorations for his kitchen reveal videos.
It all comes down to spatulas.
It all comes down to spatulas.
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
Nuzzi may be a joke or punchline , but she got into position by being constantly excused for being an abusive manipulative ass.
And falling back to the same schtick of being “seduced “ by men and”jealous es” by women
And you know someone like her right the fuck now
Who you’re NOT stopping
And falling back to the same schtick of being “seduced “ by men and”jealous es” by women
And you know someone like her right the fuck now
Who you’re NOT stopping
November 19, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Nuzzi may be a joke or punchline , but she got into position by being constantly excused for being an abusive manipulative ass.
And falling back to the same schtick of being “seduced “ by men and”jealous es” by women
And you know someone like her right the fuck now
Who you’re NOT stopping
And falling back to the same schtick of being “seduced “ by men and”jealous es” by women
And you know someone like her right the fuck now
Who you’re NOT stopping
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
And let’s cascade this because the writers from Teen Vogue?
STILL made more for their fund raising than the writers of VIBE who also saw most of the Black writers fired
So scuse me if ain’t shit funny to me right now
STILL made more for their fund raising than the writers of VIBE who also saw most of the Black writers fired
So scuse me if ain’t shit funny to me right now
Condé Nast emptied out every single trans and Black journalist from Teen Vogue while clearing a six figure salary for a woman who slept with people she was covering while she mocked real concerns about their fitness
Lord knows I need money but this is SYSTEMIC
Lord knows I need money but this is SYSTEMIC
And they're taking up space that could be better used by other people, people who have fucking integrity.
People like Sydette.
People like Sydette.
November 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
And let’s cascade this because the writers from Teen Vogue?
STILL made more for their fund raising than the writers of VIBE who also saw most of the Black writers fired
So scuse me if ain’t shit funny to me right now
STILL made more for their fund raising than the writers of VIBE who also saw most of the Black writers fired
So scuse me if ain’t shit funny to me right now
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
how does this constitute giving money away if you in fact just gave it to yourself
Elon Musk’s foundation gave away a record $474 million in 2024, with the vast majority again going to entities he controls
Elon Musk Gave Away $474 Million in 2024, Mostly to Entities He Controls
Elon Musk’s foundation gave away a record $474 million in 2024, with the vast majority again going to entities he controls.
bloom.bg
November 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
how does this constitute giving money away if you in fact just gave it to yourself
I *just* saw a 2009 SVU episode where they tried to charge a woman who didn't vaccinate her kid with the murder of another kid who died from measles.
Man, do I miss people actually being appropriately horrified by this shit.
Man, do I miss people actually being appropriately horrified by this shit.
"Heck of a job, Bobby."
"If the outbreaks cannot be extinguished by January, the anniversary of the first cases in Texas, the United States will lose what is known as “elimination status” as determined by the World Health Organization."
(gift link)
"If the outbreaks cannot be extinguished by January, the anniversary of the first cases in Texas, the United States will lose what is known as “elimination status” as determined by the World Health Organization."
(gift link)
C.D.C. Links Measles Outbreaks in Multiple States for the First Time
www.nytimes.com
November 19, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I *just* saw a 2009 SVU episode where they tried to charge a woman who didn't vaccinate her kid with the murder of another kid who died from measles.
Man, do I miss people actually being appropriately horrified by this shit.
Man, do I miss people actually being appropriately horrified by this shit.
Reposted by Robyn Pennacchia
Looks Like We've Reached The 'It's Not Like Epstein F*cked Toddlers, OK?' Part Of This Journey
www.wonkette.com/p/looks-like...
By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/looks-like...
By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social
Looks Like We've Reached The 'It's Not Like Epstein F*cked Toddlers, OK?' Part Of This Journey
The American Academy of Pedantics has some thoughts.
www.wonkette.com
November 18, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Looks Like We've Reached The 'It's Not Like Epstein F*cked Toddlers, OK?' Part Of This Journey
www.wonkette.com/p/looks-like...
By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/looks-like...
By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social
Old enough to remember when makeup companies at least had the decency to *pretend* they weren't using doctored images.
I don’t want to seem out of touch but I don’t actually understand the economy anymore.
November 18, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Old enough to remember when makeup companies at least had the decency to *pretend* they weren't using doctored images.
Any tips on buying a more medium-sized shoulder bag for a short person? (like 5'2")?
My sister wants a larger bag this year, but usually when she tries to wear mine they look ridiculous, so what is the key here? Like maybe more on the flat side? Triangle more than rectangle?
My sister wants a larger bag this year, but usually when she tries to wear mine they look ridiculous, so what is the key here? Like maybe more on the flat side? Triangle more than rectangle?
November 18, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Any tips on buying a more medium-sized shoulder bag for a short person? (like 5'2")?
My sister wants a larger bag this year, but usually when she tries to wear mine they look ridiculous, so what is the key here? Like maybe more on the flat side? Triangle more than rectangle?
My sister wants a larger bag this year, but usually when she tries to wear mine they look ridiculous, so what is the key here? Like maybe more on the flat side? Triangle more than rectangle?
"I've written a letter to daddy ..."
Nancy Mace: "You can see in the Epstein emails that he's clearly targeting President Trump as retribution for him being a good man ... he's a good man who protects women. That's what real men do."
November 18, 2025 at 4:34 PM
"I've written a letter to daddy ..."