Allison
@rooflizard.bsky.social
talk is cheap and baby, time's expensive
Pinned
Allison
@rooflizard.bsky.social
· Jul 2
Today's photo on my parents' Instagram is just so good, like it is insane that my dad can do this
www.instagram.com/p/DLnFyC3ODZ...
www.instagram.com/p/DLnFyC3ODZ...
(complimentary)
January 18, 2026 at 9:29 PM
(complimentary)
Reposted by Allison
At its core, ICE, and really this entire government, are simply Losers Who Are Bothering You
January 17, 2026 at 2:53 AM
At its core, ICE, and really this entire government, are simply Losers Who Are Bothering You
Reposted by Allison
BREAKING: This dog is named Susan From Accounting
January 17, 2026 at 3:49 AM
BREAKING: This dog is named Susan From Accounting
Reposted by Allison
if i were someone regularly appearing on ESPN from a home setup, i would:
1) commission good fakes of the art stolen from the Gardner museum in 1990
2) exclusively decorate my backdrop with those fakes
3) wait until the internet noticed this
4) never offer public comment
1) commission good fakes of the art stolen from the Gardner museum in 1990
2) exclusively decorate my backdrop with those fakes
3) wait until the internet noticed this
4) never offer public comment
January 16, 2026 at 6:35 PM
if i were someone regularly appearing on ESPN from a home setup, i would:
1) commission good fakes of the art stolen from the Gardner museum in 1990
2) exclusively decorate my backdrop with those fakes
3) wait until the internet noticed this
4) never offer public comment
1) commission good fakes of the art stolen from the Gardner museum in 1990
2) exclusively decorate my backdrop with those fakes
3) wait until the internet noticed this
4) never offer public comment
Looking forward to him finding out the villain of the series overall is the NHL commissioner
We know the hit TV show “Heated Rivalry” has created new hockey fans. The show has also captured a particularly high-profile one — NHL commissioner Gary Bettman.
January 16, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Looking forward to him finding out the villain of the series overall is the NHL commissioner
Reposted by Allison
Reposted by Allison
friendly reminder
The things you believed were right yesterday are still right. They'll be right if they put you in jail. They'll be right if they shoot you. They'll still be right when these people are dead and dusted and gone.
which they will be
The things you believed were right yesterday are still right. They'll be right if they put you in jail. They'll be right if they shoot you. They'll still be right when these people are dead and dusted and gone.
which they will be
January 15, 2026 at 2:52 PM
friendly reminder
The things you believed were right yesterday are still right. They'll be right if they put you in jail. They'll be right if they shoot you. They'll still be right when these people are dead and dusted and gone.
which they will be
The things you believed were right yesterday are still right. They'll be right if they put you in jail. They'll be right if they shoot you. They'll still be right when these people are dead and dusted and gone.
which they will be
Reposted by Allison
YOURE FROM BETHESDA AND WENT TO UVA
January 13, 2026 at 2:38 PM
YOURE FROM BETHESDA AND WENT TO UVA
For weeks I've been mad at my mascara every day and thinking Maybelline had changed the formula and then this morning I realized I hadn't actually bought waterproof mascara this time, so it... wasn't waterproof
January 13, 2026 at 3:36 AM
For weeks I've been mad at my mascara every day and thinking Maybelline had changed the formula and then this morning I realized I hadn't actually bought waterproof mascara this time, so it... wasn't waterproof
Reposted by Allison
My 14yo tells me kids who use ChatGPT are referred to as "third-party thinkers"
January 12, 2026 at 7:12 PM
My 14yo tells me kids who use ChatGPT are referred to as "third-party thinkers"
Reposted by Allison
we’re in the vet’s office waiting room and they just called for Agamemnon. we all looked at the Great Dane but it turns out Agamemnon is an orange kitten in a backpack that makes him look like an astronaut cheese puff
January 11, 2026 at 5:27 PM
we’re in the vet’s office waiting room and they just called for Agamemnon. we all looked at the Great Dane but it turns out Agamemnon is an orange kitten in a backpack that makes him look like an astronaut cheese puff
Reposted by Allison
"Hysterical"
January 12, 2026 at 5:48 PM
"Hysterical"
I mean... they're not wrong
January 12, 2026 at 3:52 PM
I mean... they're not wrong
Reposted by Allison
January 12, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Reposted by Allison
Daisy brand cottage cheese wants you to fistfight ICE
you may have noticed there is suddenly extra protein in everything. this is the government attempting to get us jacked. for war
January 12, 2026 at 3:49 AM
Daisy brand cottage cheese wants you to fistfight ICE
What I'm tryna find 🙏
January 10, 2026 at 11:52 PM
What I'm tryna find 🙏
Reposted by Allison
been watching looney tunes from the 30s and 40s for about 7 hours now and i think im ready to try this stuff irl
January 10, 2026 at 4:58 AM
been watching looney tunes from the 30s and 40s for about 7 hours now and i think im ready to try this stuff irl
Reposted by Allison
Renee Macklin Good's wife, Becca Good, released a statement and it moved me to sobbing tears:
archive.is/ur35j
archive.is/ur35j
January 9, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Renee Macklin Good's wife, Becca Good, released a statement and it moved me to sobbing tears:
archive.is/ur35j
archive.is/ur35j
I joined my gym in December 2024, and set a goal that I wanted to be able to deadlift my body weight by the end of 2025. Took until January 8th, but tonight I did it for five reps
January 9, 2026 at 12:45 AM
I joined my gym in December 2024, and set a goal that I wanted to be able to deadlift my body weight by the end of 2025. Took until January 8th, but tonight I did it for five reps
Reposted by Allison
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
Reposted by Allison
"They were doing their jobs"
It's a bad job... Fuck that job
It's a bad job... Fuck that job
January 8, 2026 at 2:32 PM
"They were doing their jobs"
It's a bad job... Fuck that job
It's a bad job... Fuck that job
Reposted by Allison
this is Episcopalian for “y’all goin to HELL hell”
"I urge any who are involved in the administration of the current immigration enforcement regime at any level to seek the counsel of their clergy, given my urgent pastoral concern for the moral and spiritual injury that their participation is causing them." - Bp. Rob Price of Dallas, 1/1/2026
January 7, 2026 at 9:00 PM
this is Episcopalian for “y’all goin to HELL hell”
Reposted by Allison
Traumatising yourself is not praxis.
January 7, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Traumatising yourself is not praxis.
Reposted by Allison
I know she was in there ACTING UP
January 7, 2026 at 3:59 PM
I know she was in there ACTING UP
Reposted by Allison
Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.
January 7, 2026 at 3:15 AM
Why Would Women Like Naked Gorgeous Men Talking About Their Emotions. Why Would Women Like Beautiful Sexy Men Yearning Sexily. Why Would Women Like Sculpted Butts And True Love. The Female Mind Is An Enigma.