Alaina Patterson
@willbefunorelse.bsky.social
Geriatric millenial, bird app survivor, and Cat Donaghy's mom.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I have an idea for saving humanity that we haven’t tried yet: put women in charge.
February 15, 2026 at 6:50 PM
I have an idea for saving humanity that we haven’t tried yet: put women in charge.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
“I’ll do Saw on them” is also the moderate position at this point
talking about epstein with my uber driver and she was like "you know what i would do if i had all that money? id invite all the pedophiles and child abusers to my island and then do Saw on them"
February 13, 2026 at 2:57 AM
“I’ll do Saw on them” is also the moderate position at this point
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Roses are red,
The president is turning blue,
It could happen today,
I want that joy for all of you
The president is turning blue,
It could happen today,
I want that joy for all of you
February 14, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Roses are red,
The president is turning blue,
It could happen today,
I want that joy for all of you
The president is turning blue,
It could happen today,
I want that joy for all of you
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
It bears repeating that the only reason Congress wasn’t massacred that day is because of a series of tactical errors on the part of the coup forces, not any sort of broad strategic restraint
Morally and strategically it would have been fully justifiable to turn on the leaden fire hose
Morally and strategically it would have been fully justifiable to turn on the leaden fire hose
I was there that day, cleared out well before the cops came in, and no this should not be considered exaggerated for rhetorical effect. This is the quintessential situation where governments get to mow down protestors with modern weapons
February 13, 2026 at 7:21 PM
It bears repeating that the only reason Congress wasn’t massacred that day is because of a series of tactical errors on the part of the coup forces, not any sort of broad strategic restraint
Morally and strategically it would have been fully justifiable to turn on the leaden fire hose
Morally and strategically it would have been fully justifiable to turn on the leaden fire hose
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
correct. we should’ve shot all the confederates and occupied the south for a hundred years, and we’ve been paying for it ever since
👇🎯 @willbunch.bsky.social is right. The reason all the awful & illegal things keep happening in 🇺🇸 politics - from 1865 to now - is because there are never any actual legal, personal, & professional consequences for the awful & illegal things happening in 🇺🇸 politics. That must change this time.
Gift article: "We won’t get anything resembling democracy until we clear that widespread debris, and that means sending a bunch of these liars to prison, because they are the real criminals. America desperately needs truth and consequences."
February 13, 2026 at 4:00 PM
correct. we should’ve shot all the confederates and occupied the south for a hundred years, and we’ve been paying for it ever since
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
👇🎯 @willbunch.bsky.social is right. The reason all the awful & illegal things keep happening in 🇺🇸 politics - from 1865 to now - is because there are never any actual legal, personal, & professional consequences for the awful & illegal things happening in 🇺🇸 politics. That must change this time.
Gift article: "We won’t get anything resembling democracy until we clear that widespread debris, and that means sending a bunch of these liars to prison, because they are the real criminals. America desperately needs truth and consequences."
The lying is out of control. People need to go to prison. | Will Bunch
The outrageous lies of the Trump regime, from ICE shootings to a commerce secretary's Epstein falsehoods, must be punished.
share.inquirer.com
February 13, 2026 at 2:28 PM
👇🎯 @willbunch.bsky.social is right. The reason all the awful & illegal things keep happening in 🇺🇸 politics - from 1865 to now - is because there are never any actual legal, personal, & professional consequences for the awful & illegal things happening in 🇺🇸 politics. That must change this time.
FOR REAL
the next Dem admin needs to take a real big swing at reform immediately because the window is going to be limited and while there's a chance voters will punish you for it you know for a stone cold fact that they will punish you for going small
February 12, 2026 at 9:10 PM
FOR REAL
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
the next Dem admin needs to take a real big swing at reform immediately because the window is going to be limited and while there's a chance voters will punish you for it you know for a stone cold fact that they will punish you for going small
February 12, 2026 at 8:52 PM
the next Dem admin needs to take a real big swing at reform immediately because the window is going to be limited and while there's a chance voters will punish you for it you know for a stone cold fact that they will punish you for going small
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
With unlimited money in politics, if a major right wing/corporate donor wants to control a certain office but knows that voters will never elect a Republican their best hope is to find someone who claims to be a Democrat and try to buy the primary.
And they have been doing exactly that.
And they have been doing exactly that.
February 12, 2026 at 7:49 PM
With unlimited money in politics, if a major right wing/corporate donor wants to control a certain office but knows that voters will never elect a Republican their best hope is to find someone who claims to be a Democrat and try to buy the primary.
And they have been doing exactly that.
And they have been doing exactly that.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Look at all the state level politicians who ran and got elected as "Democrats" only to change parties once they took office and give Republicans decisive votes to take a majority.
February 12, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Look at all the state level politicians who ran and got elected as "Democrats" only to change parties once they took office and give Republicans decisive votes to take a majority.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
It's past time for everyone to understand that just because someone registers and runs in an election as a "Democrat" doesn't mean that they deserve to be treated as one. Just look at the Nazi in Maine, or the Ogre in Pennsylvania, or the previous mayor of NYC...
February 12, 2026 at 7:45 PM
It's past time for everyone to understand that just because someone registers and runs in an election as a "Democrat" doesn't mean that they deserve to be treated as one. Just look at the Nazi in Maine, or the Ogre in Pennsylvania, or the previous mayor of NYC...
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Someone was abducted at 10 AM by ICE on Central Ave. Their coworker says they’ve lived here for over 20 years, are documented, and have 3 kids who were born here.
Don’t be fooled by headlines when they’ve been lying to us the whole time. We still need you out patrolling until every agent is gone.
Don’t be fooled by headlines when they’ve been lying to us the whole time. We still need you out patrolling until every agent is gone.
February 12, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Someone was abducted at 10 AM by ICE on Central Ave. Their coworker says they’ve lived here for over 20 years, are documented, and have 3 kids who were born here.
Don’t be fooled by headlines when they’ve been lying to us the whole time. We still need you out patrolling until every agent is gone.
Don’t be fooled by headlines when they’ve been lying to us the whole time. We still need you out patrolling until every agent is gone.
Just sitting in my house while two electricians rewire the house to get it up to post-1970 code, AMA
February 12, 2026 at 2:54 PM
Just sitting in my house while two electricians rewire the house to get it up to post-1970 code, AMA
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick
February 11, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
This is the aftermath of an ICE kidnapping a few blocks from my home in St. Paul—an hour ago. A quiet street full of broken glass and at least three wrecked cars. The target of the kidnapping was taken away by ambulance. He was on a stretcher and covered by a sheet, though a cop said he was alive.
February 11, 2026 at 4:46 PM
This is the aftermath of an ICE kidnapping a few blocks from my home in St. Paul—an hour ago. A quiet street full of broken glass and at least three wrecked cars. The target of the kidnapping was taken away by ambulance. He was on a stretcher and covered by a sheet, though a cop said he was alive.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Me: Invest all my savings in cryptocurrency
Financial Advisor: Do you understand cryptocurrency?
Me (picturing the cryptkeeper's face on all currency): 100%
Financial Advisor: Do you understand cryptocurrency?
Me (picturing the cryptkeeper's face on all currency): 100%
August 4, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Me: Invest all my savings in cryptocurrency
Financial Advisor: Do you understand cryptocurrency?
Me (picturing the cryptkeeper's face on all currency): 100%
Financial Advisor: Do you understand cryptocurrency?
Me (picturing the cryptkeeper's face on all currency): 100%
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Take it from a former incident commander and coordinator of incident commanders: You cannot operate at incident tempo forever. A week, two weeks, a month at the outside. Then you need a month off. Package work up, hand it off. Let stuff lie that can. Rest, recover. It’ll be here when you’re back.
If you thought this paradigm was going to last 30-90 days and then end and now, at day 72, you’re realizing the fallout is actually an indefinitely permanent paradigm, it makes sense you went super hard at a pace that is unsustainable.
Recalibrate now before you’re hurtling into the concrete floor.
Recalibrate now before you’re hurtling into the concrete floor.
I’m seeing more and more Minneapolis/Minnesota people naming that they are burned out and I just hope people allow themselves to change their pacing from sprint to marathon or better yet, a relay.
Slow down if the alternative is you crashing out and not being able to do anything.
Slow down if the alternative is you crashing out and not being able to do anything.
February 11, 2026 at 8:42 AM
Take it from a former incident commander and coordinator of incident commanders: You cannot operate at incident tempo forever. A week, two weeks, a month at the outside. Then you need a month off. Package work up, hand it off. Let stuff lie that can. Rest, recover. It’ll be here when you’re back.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
This is literally what CURRENT LAW requires. It’s in the Constitution! www.politico.com/news/2026/02...
February 10, 2026 at 3:18 AM
This is literally what CURRENT LAW requires. It’s in the Constitution! www.politico.com/news/2026/02...
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I really want people to think about this. After all the insane lawsuits, all the threats, all the bullshit weve seen from this admin and the targets who kneeled in fear, an average Joe called the president a Pedophile protector to his face and didn't get touched. That's the Power of a union.
NEWS: Ford worker who heckled Trump kept his job, got 'no discipline' on his record, UAW says.
www.detroitnews.com/story/busine...
www.detroitnews.com/story/busine...
UAW: Ford worker who heckled Trump kept job, 'no discipline' on record
The United Auto Workers union said TJ Sabula remains employed and called out the president for making an obscene gesture toward the worker.
www.detroitnews.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:18 PM
I really want people to think about this. After all the insane lawsuits, all the threats, all the bullshit weve seen from this admin and the targets who kneeled in fear, an average Joe called the president a Pedophile protector to his face and didn't get touched. That's the Power of a union.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
The *only* response to this is all the other governors drop out.
Gov. Wes Moore (D-MD) says he was uninvited from a bipartisan White House dinner for governors
"As the nation’s only Black governor, I can’t ignore that being singled out for exclusion from this bipartisan tradition carries an added weight — whether that was the intent or not"
"As the nation’s only Black governor, I can’t ignore that being singled out for exclusion from this bipartisan tradition carries an added weight — whether that was the intent or not"
February 9, 2026 at 5:24 PM
The *only* response to this is all the other governors drop out.
I was home from work one (1) day and observed a dude walk up my driveway and then leave without knocking, and it sent me into a panic that I started looking up Ring cameras
BUT THEN
Anti-Anxiety!Alaina said, "that could happen literally every day and you never knew it, why start now?"
BUT THEN
Anti-Anxiety!Alaina said, "that could happen literally every day and you never knew it, why start now?"
why do you need to observe your house if you're not in it. you are giving yourself an opt-in mental illness. no one has to live like this
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
I was home from work one (1) day and observed a dude walk up my driveway and then leave without knocking, and it sent me into a panic that I started looking up Ring cameras
BUT THEN
Anti-Anxiety!Alaina said, "that could happen literally every day and you never knew it, why start now?"
BUT THEN
Anti-Anxiety!Alaina said, "that could happen literally every day and you never knew it, why start now?"
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
New York has a Muslim mayor; the Patriots are losing the Super Bowl. The Long 9/11 is finally coming to an end.
Feel bad for my patriot fan friends but this is a good omen for society
February 9, 2026 at 3:05 AM
New York has a Muslim mayor; the Patriots are losing the Super Bowl. The Long 9/11 is finally coming to an end.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
There was no happy ending for Patriots' owner Robert Kraft today.
February 9, 2026 at 3:34 AM
There was no happy ending for Patriots' owner Robert Kraft today.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
glad the halftime show was good because this game has been rough to watch
February 9, 2026 at 2:55 AM
glad the halftime show was good because this game has been rough to watch
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
after enduring all of these commercials I am no longer purchasing goods or services ever again
February 9, 2026 at 2:14 AM
after enduring all of these commercials I am no longer purchasing goods or services ever again