Alaina Patterson
@willbefunorelse.bsky.social
Geriatric millenial, bird app survivor, and Cat Donaghy's mom.
You work for a state revenue agency? That must be taxing.
So you follow animals for a living? that tracks.
So you’re an accountant? That adds up.
January 12, 2026 at 12:58 AM
You work for a state revenue agency? That must be taxing.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Stop insulting our intelligence
January 10, 2026 at 5:16 AM
Stop insulting our intelligence
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
He shot her in the head, then called her a “fucking bitch.”
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
January 10, 2026 at 5:15 AM
He shot her in the head, then called her a “fucking bitch.”
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
The past couple days have made it clear that arresting and prosecuting Johnathan Ross isn’t just the right thing to do, it is necessary to prevent future violence by ICE who have interpreted the situation as “we can do that to whoever we want”
A woman recording an ICE agent tells him "Shame on you."
The agent responds, "Have you all not learned from the past couple of days?"
"Learned what?" she asks
Then he knocks her phone out of her hand
The agent responds, "Have you all not learned from the past couple of days?"
"Learned what?" she asks
Then he knocks her phone out of her hand
January 10, 2026 at 3:25 PM
The past couple days have made it clear that arresting and prosecuting Johnathan Ross isn’t just the right thing to do, it is necessary to prevent future violence by ICE who have interpreted the situation as “we can do that to whoever we want”
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I’m old enough to remember the late 2000s, when redpill dudes were starting to mobilize online
various feminists and queer activists and historians wrote fairly regularly about misogyny as the canary in the coal mine of fascism
I can still hear the crickets
various feminists and queer activists and historians wrote fairly regularly about misogyny as the canary in the coal mine of fascism
I can still hear the crickets
He shot her in the head, then called her a “fucking bitch.”
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
That isn’t self defense, it’s an angry execution.
January 10, 2026 at 6:29 AM
I’m old enough to remember the late 2000s, when redpill dudes were starting to mobilize online
various feminists and queer activists and historians wrote fairly regularly about misogyny as the canary in the coal mine of fascism
I can still hear the crickets
various feminists and queer activists and historians wrote fairly regularly about misogyny as the canary in the coal mine of fascism
I can still hear the crickets
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I have been as impressed by the normal people of this country as I have been disgusted by elite institutions and every bit of optimism I have that we are going to make it comes from that
It's incredibly demoralizing to constantly see the highest institutions of government and academia and the most important and widely seen news outlets knuckle under one after another, but then to see the gulf between that and the bravery of communities and neighbors and teachers - that's something
January 10, 2026 at 12:56 AM
I have been as impressed by the normal people of this country as I have been disgusted by elite institutions and every bit of optimism I have that we are going to make it comes from that
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Every woman has heard it. Your daughter, your sister, your mother, your wife. We have ALL heard it.
I haven’t (and most likely won’t) watch the recently released video but I swear I can hear that “fucking bitch” in my head clear as day. The snarling hate and disgust. Every woman has heard it.
January 9, 2026 at 8:38 PM
Every woman has heard it. Your daughter, your sister, your mother, your wife. We have ALL heard it.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Minnesota friends,
The State of Minnesota does not need to be invited to participate in the DHS "investigation" of its murder of Renee Good. The sovereign State of Minnesota can and must conduct its own investigation, present its findings to its own grand jury, and bring its own criminal charges.
The State of Minnesota does not need to be invited to participate in the DHS "investigation" of its murder of Renee Good. The sovereign State of Minnesota can and must conduct its own investigation, present its findings to its own grand jury, and bring its own criminal charges.
You're going to hear a lot of lies about what the law allows after the Trump Regime's murder of Renee Good.
States can prosecute federal officers, they've been doing it since the 1800s. Trump cannot stop it and cannot pardon it.
Here's the legal analysis
www.patreon.com/posts/147687...
States can prosecute federal officers, they've been doing it since the 1800s. Trump cannot stop it and cannot pardon it.
Here's the legal analysis
www.patreon.com/posts/147687...
Minnesota Can & Must Prosecute the Unnamed ICE Agent Who Murdered Renee Good | Shouldn't Need to Be a Lawyer by Matthew Cortland
Get more from Shouldn't Need to Be a Lawyer by Matthew Cortland on Patreon
www.patreon.com
January 8, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Minnesota friends,
The State of Minnesota does not need to be invited to participate in the DHS "investigation" of its murder of Renee Good. The sovereign State of Minnesota can and must conduct its own investigation, present its findings to its own grand jury, and bring its own criminal charges.
The State of Minnesota does not need to be invited to participate in the DHS "investigation" of its murder of Renee Good. The sovereign State of Minnesota can and must conduct its own investigation, present its findings to its own grand jury, and bring its own criminal charges.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
"erm we can't get a conviction." fucking arrest the guy. perp walk him as a spectacle to make sure his name and face are broadcast around the world. make them fight his way out of jail. be so loud and obnoxious about it that it plants that seed of doubt in every ICE agent's head
January 8, 2026 at 6:40 PM
"erm we can't get a conviction." fucking arrest the guy. perp walk him as a spectacle to make sure his name and face are broadcast around the world. make them fight his way out of jail. be so loud and obnoxious about it that it plants that seed of doubt in every ICE agent's head
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Jonathan Ross, come on down, you're the next contestant on We're Throwing You In Fucking Prison
The agent, Jonathan Ross, was dragged by a vehicle and injured during a June operation in the Twin Cities, court records show.
ICE agent who fatally shot woman in Minneapolis is identified
Jonathan Ross, a Minnesota-based agent, was dragged in a separate incident last year by a fleeing motorist.
bit.ly
January 8, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Jonathan Ross, come on down, you're the next contestant on We're Throwing You In Fucking Prison
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
i firmly believe — like you would have to give me hard evidence to convince me otherwise — that they feed trump a steady diet of AI slop
man, did the viziers in the WH not actually show him the actual video?
January 8, 2026 at 3:42 PM
i firmly believe — like you would have to give me hard evidence to convince me otherwise — that they feed trump a steady diet of AI slop
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I don't know who needs to hear this, but cops are not allowed to shoot people just because you didn't do what they said.
That is called murder when they do that.
Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
That is called murder when they do that.
Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
January 8, 2026 at 5:35 AM
I don't know who needs to hear this, but cops are not allowed to shoot people just because you didn't do what they said.
That is called murder when they do that.
Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
That is called murder when they do that.
Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I will say as someone who, like, dabbles in the Bulwark and other never trump former neocons, I'm that freak who appreciates the solidarity but also can't stop wanting a "here's how I helped this happen" moment of reflection from them. like, these vampires currently at my neck are your ex-coworkers.
January 8, 2026 at 5:18 AM
I will say as someone who, like, dabbles in the Bulwark and other never trump former neocons, I'm that freak who appreciates the solidarity but also can't stop wanting a "here's how I helped this happen" moment of reflection from them. like, these vampires currently at my neck are your ex-coworkers.
I spent my evening either shoveling snow or paint-by-numbering while listening to Burns' The American Revolution on PBS.
Both gave me hope.
Both gave me hope.
January 8, 2026 at 3:52 AM
I spent my evening either shoveling snow or paint-by-numbering while listening to Burns' The American Revolution on PBS.
Both gave me hope.
Both gave me hope.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Black people five years ago: you know, they can kill anyone they want to out there
Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?
Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?
January 8, 2026 at 12:46 AM
Black people five years ago: you know, they can kill anyone they want to out there
Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?
Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?
This is it. This is the mental health fix I need. Holy shit.
I'm gonna refurbish the Laundry Tub into The Actual Tub, buy a bottle of white wine and watch Hockey Boys this weekend.
I literally heard a click in my head when I made that decision, so I know it's good
I'm gonna refurbish the Laundry Tub into The Actual Tub, buy a bottle of white wine and watch Hockey Boys this weekend.
I literally heard a click in my head when I made that decision, so I know it's good
January 7, 2026 at 4:36 PM
This is it. This is the mental health fix I need. Holy shit.
I'm gonna refurbish the Laundry Tub into The Actual Tub, buy a bottle of white wine and watch Hockey Boys this weekend.
I literally heard a click in my head when I made that decision, so I know it's good
I'm gonna refurbish the Laundry Tub into The Actual Tub, buy a bottle of white wine and watch Hockey Boys this weekend.
I literally heard a click in my head when I made that decision, so I know it's good
I have watched HBO shows via other streaming networks or Ye Olde Physical Media Borrowed From The Librarie but I may (finally) pay so I can watch the gay hockey boys
there are worse ways to disassociate from living through more major historical events than being obsessed with the gay hockey show funded by Canadian taxpayers
January 7, 2026 at 4:33 PM
I have watched HBO shows via other streaming networks or Ye Olde Physical Media Borrowed From The Librarie but I may (finally) pay so I can watch the gay hockey boys
I sent a picture of the sharkuterie board to my sister and now I need to learn how to make ceramics
January 7, 2026 at 1:07 AM
I sent a picture of the sharkuterie board to my sister and now I need to learn how to make ceramics
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Counterpoint: I think you should all get really into hockey
If only so I can have more people to share my outrage that Jason Robertson wasn't picked for the US Olympic team.
If only so I can have more people to share my outrage that Jason Robertson wasn't picked for the US Olympic team.
this website desperately needs baseball season to start
January 6, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Counterpoint: I think you should all get really into hockey
If only so I can have more people to share my outrage that Jason Robertson wasn't picked for the US Olympic team.
If only so I can have more people to share my outrage that Jason Robertson wasn't picked for the US Olympic team.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
this website desperately needs baseball season to start
January 6, 2026 at 1:23 AM
this website desperately needs baseball season to start
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Cassidy is responsible for all the sickness and death that RFK Jr inflicts on the American people.
January 5, 2026 at 9:24 PM
Cassidy is responsible for all the sickness and death that RFK Jr inflicts on the American people.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
"Laws are only as good as the willingness of people to enforce them," is the epitaph of this era.
Now would European leaders actually have the stomach for shooting at US forces if they seized Greenland next week?
Eh given how basically nobody has the stomach to even send troops to Ukraine right now I’m going to bet absolutely not.
In which case why shouldn’t Trump go for it, free real estate!
Eh given how basically nobody has the stomach to even send troops to Ukraine right now I’m going to bet absolutely not.
In which case why shouldn’t Trump go for it, free real estate!
January 5, 2026 at 6:50 PM
"Laws are only as good as the willingness of people to enforce them," is the epitaph of this era.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Anyone who says money can’t buy you happiness has never lived a life such that approximately £1200 would fix 90% of your current worries
January 5, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Anyone who says money can’t buy you happiness has never lived a life such that approximately £1200 would fix 90% of your current worries
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
my plan to get this country back on track consists of one bullet point: i propose we stop pretending stupid people arent stupid just because theyre loud and theres a lot of them
January 3, 2026 at 3:49 PM
my plan to get this country back on track consists of one bullet point: i propose we stop pretending stupid people arent stupid just because theyre loud and theres a lot of them